Grammy Night With The Halls

The Grammy Academy has announced their nominees for their 2019 awards ceremony. I haven't scrolled through them all, but from what I've seen, things look just as disappointing as usual. 
But Scott, if you think the Grammy's are total crap, why do you still care about them? 
I'll probably always follow the Grammy's. While the Grammy Academy is a stupid novelty establishment, there are enough curve balls to keep me interested. There's some genre diversity. I follow popular music; heck, I even like it sometimes. I like the idea of a big fat TV event solely dedicated to modern music. I'm a music snob, and this league of human juggernauts in cigar-scented tuxedos deserves to be music snobs as well. I am Scott, and I legitimately enjoy watching other people be music snobs. My sister Callie simplified it best: "I like the Grammy's because they're fun."
The Grammy's are fun. I found this quote particularly profound coming from one of my siblings, because everyone in our family is quite musical. And at one point or another--whether or not we meant to--we've all been into some Grammy-approved music. I got around to wondering... How many albums do we own, within just our family, that have won the Grammy Award for Album of the Year? 
Between myself, my siblings and my parents, the answer is 25. But we all spread the board together with our separate music tastes. Let's see who our winners are. 

RICHARD 1 
Nominations: 3
Random Access Memories  Daft Punk 
Elephant  The White Stripes
Late Registration  Kanye West
*Richie is the youngest sibling, and perhaps the internet has perverted him into listening to music that's too weird for the Grammy's at a young age. Not only that, but there's no reason to own anything anymore. The age of streaming kinda hurts Rich here, but that didn't stop him from getting a CD copy of Random Access Memories from his high school drama teacher.

KEITH 2
Nominations: 8
Two Against Nature  Steely Dan
O Brother, Where Art Thou? Soundtrack  Various Artists
Revolver  The Beatles
Born In The U.S.A.  Bruce Springsteen
The Globe Sessions  Sheryl Crow
The Rising  Bruce Springsteen
Viva La Vida or Death and All of His Friends  Coldplay
Big Whiskey and the GrooGrux King  Dave Matthews Band
*Keith is a purist of sorts. Bruce Springsteen, Sheryl Crow, Dave Matthews Band, the old American music of O Brother, Where Art Thou?. This is all vaguely political and undeniably American. Which is funny, because Keith lives in Canada.

SCOTT 3
Nominations: 19
Innervisions  Stevie Wonder
Songs In The Key Of Life  Stevie Wonder
The Joshua Tree  U2
Magical Mystery Tour The Beatles
Synchronicity  The Police
Achtung Baby  U2
Automatic for the People  R.E.M.
Odelay  Beck
OK Computer  Radiohead
Kid A  Radiohead
Midnite Vultures  Beck
All That You Can't Leave Behind  U2
Continuum  John Mayer
Stadium Arcadium Red Hot Chili Peppers
In Rainbows  Radiohead
Channel Orange  Frank Ocean
good kid, m.A.A.d city  Kendrick Lamar
To Pimp A Butterfly  Kendrick Lamar
A Sailor's Guide To Earth  Sturgill Simpson
*I own a lot of music. Looks like the Grammy Academy likes a bunch of my stuff. But I can't seem to pick the winners. 3 Radiohead albums up there. 0 of them won! Even hokey stuff like John Mayer or 2000s U2 can't win a darn thing. I guess I'm just quantity over quality.

MOM 4
Nominations: 8
Tapestry  Carole King
Christopher Cross  Christopher Cross
Can't Slow Down  Lionel Richie 
The Bodyguard Soundtrack  Whitney Houston/Various Artists
The Sound of Music Soundtrack  Various Artists
Silk Degrees  Boz Scaggs
Glass Houses  Billy Joel
The Broadway Album  Barbara Streisand
*Yes, with 11 less nominations than me, my mom has won more Grammy's than me. What's cool about my parents' album collection is that they can't remember what they used to own. What's also cool is that they would have been on vinyl. I think my mom had Chicago II, but how could anybody know which Chicago album they own? Anyways, the idea for this blog was inspired by listening to that Barbara Streisand Broadway album on recent road trips. Yes, that almost won album of the year. Gotta love them Grammy's!

McALLISTER 5
Nominations: 7
Come Away With Me  Norah Jones
How To Dismantle An Atomic Bomb  U2
Fearless  Taylor Swift
Red  Taylor Swift
1989  Taylor Swift
Jagged Little Pill Alanis Morissette
The Millenium  Backstreet Boys
*It's only fair to start this not by laughing at Callie for loving Backstreet Boys as a little girl, but by laughing at the Grammy Academy for actually legitimately considering a Backstreet Boys album as the best of the year. The rest of this makes sense. Taylor Swift sweeps the show every time, giving Callie 3 of her 5 awards. Yeah, the Grammy's are fun. If you WIN. 

DAD 5
Nominations: 10
Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band The Beatles
Blood, Sweat & Tears  Blood, Sweat & Tears
52nd Street  Billy Joel
Graceland  Paul Simon
Unforgettable... with Love  Natalie Cole
Aja  Steely Dan
Hotel California  Eagles
Breakfast In America  Supertramp
The Wall  Pink Floyd
Chaos and Creation in the Backyard  Paul McCartney
*My dad likes old music. So does my mom. But can you blame them? Do you know how much it costs to get a Beatles album on vinyl in 2018? While dad doesn't claim to have ever owned The Wall, I remember stumbling across a cassette tape for it when I was super young. Some things are worth hiding from your children. Like the creepy album cover for Breakfast In America.

TODD 6
Nominations: 9
Getz/Gilberto Stan Getz & João Gilberto
Unplugged Eric Clapton Supernatural Santana The Suburbs Arcade Fire Babel Mumford & Sons
Morning Phase Beck
Jazz Samba Stan Getz & Charlie Byrd Abbey Road The Beatles
El Camino The Black Keys
*And Todd is our winner! It doesn't really look like he was "trying" either. I believe he got that Santana album back when "Smooth" was the biggest song on the radio. Arcade Fire and Beck are total underdog picks. And in defense of the Grammy Academy, there's not really anything on here that sucks. Okay, I hate Mumford & Sons, but I digress... With a lot of money and a lot of random luck, you too can win a Grammy.

The 25 Best Albums Of 2018

Let me just start off by saying this year was a total mess. So this list is a total mess. While I'm hesitant to say anything here counts as true greatness, honestly, I liked a bunch of the stuff I listened to. The bottom half of this list is basically just as good as anything I could honorably mention. Hop Along, boygenius, Kids See Ghosts, JPEGMAFIA, Iceage, serpentwithfeet, Parquet Courts, Kali Uchis, Blood Orange... good job guys. And Robyn easily gets my #26 spot. But I assume nobody gives a hoot, so here's the list.
...(yay!)... 

25 
Louis Cole 
Time

24 
Father John Misty 
God's Favorite Customer

23 
Julia Holter 
Aviary

22 
Anderson .Paak 
Oxnard

21 
CupcakKe 
Ephorize

20 
Mount Eerie 
Now Only

19 
Janelle Monae 
Dirty Computer

18 
Mitski 
Be The Cowboy

17 
Charli XCX 
Pop 2

16 
Hermit and the Recluse 
Orpheus vs. The Sirens









Like I said, this list is a mess. You may be wondering: "Why do you like Charli XCX? Or CupcakKe?" Or perhaps you're wondering: "Who the heck is this shmuck Louis Cole? Or Hermit and the Recluse?" Listen guys, these 10 albums listed above have nearly nothing in common with each other. Except maybe those Janelle Monae and Anderson .Paak albums... Anyways, let's proceed.

15 
Sleep 
The Sciences

14 
Playboi Carti 
Die Lit

13 
Jean Grae x Quelle Chris 
Everything's Fine

12 
Pusha T 
DAYTONA









Well, this is a weird place to stop. Right before the top 11, as opposed to the top 10? Right after listing 1 stoner metal album and 3 rap albums? I just thought I'd note that the rankings of this next set of albums are pretty darn interchangeable. #11 and #4 could switch spots any given day. And all the stuff between is mixed up. And such etc. This is what I get for making this list a little too early.

11 
Car Seat Headrest 
Twin Fantasy

10 
ROSALIA 
El Mal Querer

9 
Earl Sweatshirt 
Some Rap Songs

8 
A.A.L (Against All Logic) 
2012-2017 

7 
U.S. Girls 
In a Poem Unlimited

6 
Yves Tumor 
Safe in the Hands of Love

5 
Noname 
Room 25

4 
Low 
Double Negative









I don't know, man. That Earl Sweatshirt album was released less than a week ago, so my opinion on it could switch at any given time... Nah, actually, it's legit. So is the new Low album, which is an aesthetic I'm not always in the mood for. Most people don't know Against All Logic is a Nicolas Jaar project; one of his best at that. Noname kinda strikes me as the Joni Mitchell of hip-hop. That Car Seat Headrest album was released a few years ago, but the re-release is cool enough to make this list. I could go on forever, but I'll spare y'all some reading.

3 
Beach House 
7

2 
Daughters 
You Won't Get What You Want

1 
SOPHIE 
OIL OF EVERY PEARL'S UN-INSIDES 









So this top 3 couldn't be more divisive. Is that Beach House album too much of a "mainstream indie" thing? Is the Daughters album up here proof that I watch too many The Needle Drop videos? And isn't SOPHIE just... really freaking weird? For the record, all these things are true. But while Beach House's 7 doesn't sound anything like O.G. Beach House, it's a solid collection of songs in its own right. And Daughters provides the relentless post-rock song structures and atmospheric production to create the most cacophonous music I've heard in a while. As for SOPHIE, this thing is genius. She turns impressive recording technique into child's play. This thing provides heavenly ambiance and industrial bangers; sometimes within the same track. If you're willing to enter its world in the first place, it all fits magically. God bless 2018, I guess.

A YEAR

Let's talk about Nov 2017- Nov 2018.
1 year in my life.
It was a mini-journey for me.
I can only hope it was all a mere prelude to a true adventure.

Nov '17 The Kidney Stone
I got a kidney stone in early October 2017. It's supposed to be the most painful experience in the world. Thanks to some cool medical treatments I tried out (spoiler: it was acupuncture), I miraculously passed my kidney stone in the 3rd week of October... without even realizing it! I still felt some stomach + back pain, so I went to my doctor. He explained I had passed it pain-free, and that I was so stressed out, I was only causing additional unnecessary pain to my tender, worn-out kidneys. So, I spent November realizing I had an anxiety problem beyond my own comprehension. I was unemployed all month, which didn't help. But this is where my journey started. I came to terms with my mental health and started seeing a counselor.
Dec '17 The New Job
I applied for a job at a utility billing company in town called Conservice. I probably personally know kabillion people who've worked there, so it seemed like a safe bet. Sure enough I was hired. And I hated it. I was more stressed at work than anywhere else. Luckily, my body was in great shape, and I was running all the time; even at night in the snow. Fun fact: I performed a great version of "O Holy Night" w/ "Santa Claus Is Coming To Town." Wish I could find a recording...
Jan '18 The Ward Clerk
I got a new calling at church. Ward Membership Clerk (which is apparently different from simply "ward clerk" and I never knew this existed but whatever). This only mattered because I used to be a co-chair of the linger longer committee, and I hate feeding people. What was important about January is that I started going into precise training for a half-marathon. I went on a few double-digit mileage runs. But I also had this issue where I'd constantly be rudely awakened at 3am or 4am by a numb, hungry feeling. More on this later.
Feb '18 The Half-Marathon
I ran the Run 4 Luv Half Marathon in Boise in 100 minutes! 12th place out of 117 people! Miraculous, really. This was my 3rd half-marry. But it was the first one I had ran in 3 years. Since my last race, I had gone through multiple injuries and gained over 30 pounds. So I had to readjust how I use my body. This training experience was not about being fast + feeling spirited, it was about running smart + avoiding injury. I ran practically just as fast as where I left off 3 years ago. Just a very different style. And it was cold. I'm proud of myself, but have chosen to (probably) never race again.

Mar '18 The Chronic Migraine
This is a long story... For about 3 weeks, I thought there was something wrong with my brain. I couldn't walk in a straight line without total focus. It was harder for me to speak straight + directly. I was even thinking slower, to be honest. And my scalp felt tingly the whole time. I'd have some moments where half my face would go numb. One of these moments happened at work, where it even caused my lips a numbness that gave me a slur in my speech, and the numbness went all the way down to my arm. I took an ambulance to the hospital, where I got an MRI on my brain that turned out perfectly fine.
I was diagnosed with worsening migraines. Turns out, there are even more migraine symptoms out there than I was aware of... and I was used to getting them all the time! So, I started taking some pills that turned me upside-down and made me sleep a lot. But they work. And things make a lot more sense now. I've had a lot of headaches over the years; sometimes constantly.
But oh yeah, I recorded a couple self-written songs in a studio down the street in March. Cool.
Apr '18 The Casual Rebirth
April is often my favorite month of the year. The air feels just right. The trees are blossoming. College kids are wrapping up the semester. So what the hey, I got myself a new phone. Started dating again. Went on a lot of walks. At the end of the month, I performed some classic rock songs with some buddies in front of our stake. It was super fun and memorable. The migraines were still there, but as a whole, my life was a big boost from my miserable March.

May '18 The 9th Ward
The only sad part of this month was that my cat Phil died... Anyways, I had to go to church with a different ward for the summer. It was cool that there weren't very many college kids around for the summer, because it made for a more tight-knit group. I remember playing a lot of ultimate frisbee.
Jun '18 The Torn Hamstring
I tore my hamstring from playing ultimate frisbee. I got this gigantic ugly bruise covering the entire back of my thigh. And it equally hurt. It didn't help that my car eventually had issues as well. I messed up the undercarriage by driving my car through some rough terrain in which a little ol' Ford Taurus should not go... my bad. So I was kinda immobile. But I did this cool cover of Brian McKnight's "Back At One" at a church thing. And people still remember it for some reason.
Jul '18 The Transatlanticism
I don't remember much about July, other than I listened to Death Cab For Cutie's Transatlanticism album in my car a lot. I would just drive around and feel sad. Kind of a stupid hobby, but such is life. I also ate at Costa Vida a lot. They know what to get me before I even order. It was pretty bad.

Aug '18 The Wedding
My little brother's wedding was the pinnacle event of August. But it should be noted that I went to Bear Lake with the 9th ward and it was super fun. And for the first time in my life, a deer ran into my car, and it wasn't that fun. The young buck took out a headlight and a rearview mirror; not to mention the blood on my windshield. Just 2 miles from my house... Anyways, I performed a couple songs at my bro's wedding and it was cool. All my siblings were together for the first time in 4 years. With Richie (age 21) getting married, it capped off the inevitable stat that all my siblings would be married except me. Kind of a stupid stat, but such is life.

Sep '18 The Vomit
I remember both my anxiety + my migraines taking an interesting turn by September. I have failed to mention that one of my migraine meds actually doubled as anti-depressants. Also, I had some super beneficial discussions with my counselor over the summer. I learned that I have (probably) had high-functioning depression since I was super young. Also, the anxiety I've experienced in adulthood has been way worse than I was aware of. But September came. And although things were getting better, I was also throwing up a lot. Like, every other day. I was used to having physical + mental breakdowns. But I actually had one while I was talking to my counselor... Luckily, a doctor was there for it, and they both gave me the lowdown.
Oct '18 The Quetiapine
Essentially, these breakdowns I've had are the equivalent to passing out. They are panic attacks. I never had them before because my anxiety had always been so constant. Now, with my improvements, I go in and out of anxiety; often marked by panic attacks. Crazy but true. So I was given some new meds. Quetiapine. It works super well. It has made me realize just how terrible my anxiety (and my migraine stuff) has been! I'm breathing better than I have in 9 years. My stomach isn't so tied up in knots. My mind has more moments of clarity and confidence. It's awesome. Only side effect is that it makes me sleepy. So most of my October memories consisted of me not being awake. And it felt great!
Nov '18 The Now
So now I see things in a new light. I started this year with some questions about my mental health, and finished the year with some answers. I'm almost at my 1-year mark with Conservice. I think I'll need to make some changes after that. Not just internal changes... Real ones. Location, career, social, etc. This yearlong gap from Nov '17 - Nov '18... has been one of the most important, emphatic, self-revelatory experiences of my life. I'm glad I went through all this, even if I'm still paying for medical bills up to wazoo. There will be more bills to pay and more life lessons to be learned.
Here's hoping it's fun. Here's hoping it's worthwhile. Here's hoping it's real.

The 40 Best Songs Made By Mormons

This was a difficult list to assemble.

I myself am a currently active member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (forever a mouthful to say). Oddly enough, my initial idea for a list like this was "Greatest Songs Made By Scientologists." By all means, that would have been one heck of a list. But I share stuff in common with these folks. So this is all fun and weird and personal.
By the time I weeded things out, I didn't even care about the rankings. I decided what kinda music doesn't belong here (R.I.P. choral and orchestral musicians), current v. former membership (I'll take what I can get), how associated they are with the song, as well as adding a few "I know a guy who says they're LDS" picks... No one should have to care too much about this. The fact is, they're all here together. Mormonism is an experience in itself, and anybody who's been there knows this; including everyone on this list.
What we have here is the greatest ward potluck social of all time.
Glad you could make it!

Here are some acts who didn't make it:
Celtic Woman Not only is the timeline of band membership confusing, but their music sucks.
The Osmonds There are plenty of Osmonds here, just no songs by the collective family unit.
The Moth & The Flame Utah indie pop band on the rise, but no thanks.
The 5 Browns Kinda cool story behind this group, but their genre doesn't really fit the list.
David Archuleta Nah.
Gregg Hale Apparently toured as a guitarist + engineer for Spiritualized in the late 90's.
Yo Gabba Gabba! The TV show's co-founder is LDS, but he appears elsewhere on this list.
Jewel She was raised in the church! Until her parents left, non-coincidentally when Jewel was age 8.
Dallon Weekes This active member of the church has been an active member of Panic! At The Disco in 2009. I haven't liked any of their songs since 2008. But this ain't the last you heard from Panic!

40 Radioactive Imagine Dragons
Guitarist Wayne Sermon is a member, as is their frontman Dan Reynolds. Ugh... I'll probably lose a lot of YSA church friends for saying this, but... I freaking hate Imagine Dragons. The whole menu. If you're a fan of Imagine Dragons, you need to stop making fun of Nickelback. I just felt obligated to cram one of the most popular songs of the decade to the tail-end of this list. You're welcome.
39 Come Home Soon SHeDAISY
Country trio consisting of Kassidy, Kristyn, snd Kelsi Osmond. This is the gagging order.
38 Nothing On But The Radio Gary Allan
I just think it's hilarious that this song's by a Mormon. And of course, some of y'all may know Gary Allan as the guy who does the country cover of Vertical Horizon's "Best I Ever Had."
37 She's So High Tal Bachman
Son of famous Canadian classic rocker Randy Bachman, every missionary who's served in British Columbia knows at least one member who went to high school with Tal and hates his guts.
36 Hope Paul Cardall
Paul Cardall shouldn't be on this list due to his falling under the "soothing piano" genre and getting promoted by Seagull Book. But he's my favorite of the crop, and this song is brilliantly weird.
35 Truck Got Stuck Corb Lund
Corb Lund is an Alberta Mormon who makes corny country music.
34 Animal Neon Trees
Drummer Elaine Bradley is apparently an active member. Frontman Tyler Glenn famously left the church in 2015 (as did many LGBT members) and rushed into a solo career that nobody talks about. But for a sanitized Stokes ripoff, I've always had a soft spot for this song.
33 Mong York Gothen
I think the guy's name is Evan Jolley or something. Underground music project from SLC. Made an album back in 2013. Sounds like Andrew Bird, in a good way. I dig it.
32 Private World New York Dolls
Bassist Arthur Kane joined the church in 1989. This is the only song he has songwriting credit for on the essential glam-rock album New York Dolls. Might be the worst from the album, but whatever.
31 Third Rock From The Sun Joe Diffie
Tony Martin went to BYU and has since written multiple #1 hits for country artists. The mashing of worlds here is pure gold: The guy who recorded "Pickup Man" recorded a song written by some Mormon dude that's just a ripoff of Garth Brooks's "Ain't Going Down ('Til The Sun Comes Up)" but with these goofy themes about truckers and aliens.
30 A Little Bit Country-A Little Bit Rock 'N Roll Donny & Marie Osmond
It's the only song I know by them. So yeah. The heck with it.
29 Meet Me In Montana Marie Osmond, Dan Seals
(sigh) No, Dan Seals (of England Dan & John Ford Coley) is not a Mormon. Of course Marie is. For some reason everyone in the world knows that. Anyways, this song is a road trip classic.
28 Loftcries Purity Ring
My buddy Liam from Canada confirms that lead singer Megan James attended the YSA ward in Vancouver. The band's from Edmonton, but I believe him. My personal favorite track here.
27 The Only Difference Between Martyrdom And Suicide Is Press Coverage Panic! At The Disco
Frontman (and practically sole band member) Brendon Urie used to be LDS. Which makes me wonder how he found that Dallon Weekes guy... home teaching?
26 She Will Be Loved Maroon 5
Guitarist James Valentine is a member! While he's on every Maroon 5 track, he was co-writer on this one, and only a couple other tracks. Ironically, if you had to blindly guess which Maroon 5 track was written by a Mormon dude, you'd probably pick this one anyway.
25 The Taste Of Ink The Used
Frontman Bert McCracken was raised LDS, and this is easily the band's best song.
24 You Got It All The Jets
Apparently they're all Mormon. All The Jets. And this is a cute little 80's jam.
23 Roland The Headless Thompson Gunner
22 Excitable Boy
21 Werewolves Of London Warren Zevon
SO... Warren Zevon's upbringing was as zany as his songs. His mom was a Mormon from England and his Jewish/Russian dad was a bookie for an LA mobster. These songs are better than most songs on the list, but Warren left the church in his mid-teens. Since most artists here have had more church involvement than this, I figured I'd sneak in these songs mid-list.
20 Super Rad
19 Pool Party The Aquabats
Nobody on this list (or any list ever) fits a niche quite like The Aquabats. No other band can say they consist mostly of active Mormons (3 of 'em), were a vital contribution to the "third wave" ska movement (thanks I guess), and birthed a children's TV show (Yo Gabba Gabba!).
18 Baby's Gotten Good At Goodbye George Strait
Country hit songwriter Tony Martin strikes again! And this one's actually good!
17 The Usher SubRosa
The last thing you expected was a metal song on this list. Led by Rebecca Vernon, SLC's SubRosa is one of the most critically acclaimed metal bands of the decade. This track is as gorgeous as it is covered with sludge.
16 Disarray Low
If you think my high ranking of this song is solely to promote the new crazy/weird Low album... you're right. More on these guys later.
15 All These Things That I've Done
14 When You Were Young The Killers
Brandon Flowers' activity in the church has a history of switching on and off. As does his songwriting technique. Gotta admit, he hits the sweet spot on these 2 tracks.
13 If I Were Your Woman Gladys Knight & The Pips
Proclaimed "Empress of Soul" Gladys Knight joined the LDS church in 1997 with 2 of her kids. Some of you may recognize this song from the cover that shows up on The Diary Of Alicia Keys.
12 Dinosaur Act Low
So, Low is a band whose only 2 constant members are an LDS couple from Minnesota. Alan Sparhawk is usually their frontman, but drummer Mimi Parker sings a good chunk of their songs. Low is seminal act amid the slowcore genre, yet their 2001 album Things We Lost In The Fire was like a foretelling of multi-instrumental indie to come. These guys were ahead of their time.
11 I'll Make A Man Out Of You Donny Osmond, Chorus - Mulan
That's right. The song you've been singing in the shower for the last 20 years is sung by Mormonism's smiley-face TV legend Donny Osmond. It's his work most worthy of memory.
10 American Woman The Guess Who
Randy Bachman played guitar for The Guess Who, and even has co-writer credits for this song. He was actually an active member of the church while with the band! And as impressive as that is, his conception of this riff might be all the more impressive. It's a classic among classic rock songs.
9 You Ain't Seen Nothing Yet
8 Takin' Care Of Business Bachman-Turner Overdrive
Randy Bachman finally made it to the helm of a great rock band. He is the lead singer and songwriter for both these songs, which you have all heard before, multiple times. Randy left the church in the early 2000s, but I can tell you firsthand that he was--and still is--a lovable fella among the church members of British Columbia. Having heard his music, this is probably no surprise to you.
7 Lullabye Low
Low's I Could Live In Hope was one of those important indie releases from 1994. My favorite track is a tough pick between Alan's opener "Words" and Mimi's centerpiece "Lullaby." So let's pretend like this is either of those songs. Low have been consistently talented at giving their music a "cold" sound (see their Christmas album for more). Between their depressive lyrics and atmospheric production, "Words" is where it all started and "Lullaby" is its perfected state.
6 Neither One Of Us (Wants To Be The First To Say Goodbye)
5 Midnight Train To Georgia Gladys Knight & The Pips
Gladys Knight & The Pips (whatever a "pip" is) started making R&B music way back in the 50's, but didn't reach their true commercial and critical peaks until 1972. In 1973, "Neither One Of Us" won the Grammy for Best Pop Performance, while "Midnight Train To Georgia" took the Grammy for Best R&B Performance. How does that even work? 
Anyways. Gladys has 7/18 Grammy record from 1967-2005. She represents soul and R&B on a legendary status. And she's a devout Mormon.
4 Neighborhood #1 (Tunnels)
3 Wake Up
2 Intervention Arcade Fire
This is a controversial choice to cram a bunch of Arcade Fire songs at the top of this list. It's widely known that singer Win Butler is a former member of the church, and ranking Arcade Fire's stuff over Bachman-Turner Overdrive is a sin built for hipsters. What a lot of folks don't know is that Win's brother Will Butler is a multi-instrumentalist in the group who has co-writing credit on almost all their songs, is still a member of the church. And it's not like Will's just some groupie disguised as a musician. The guy got a freaking Oscar nomination for his composition work on the score for the 2014 film Her. And I know Win says he's no longer LDS, but nothing's more Mormon than a white dude who plays overly-aggressive basketball.
Anyways... Why these songs? While Arcade Fire has tons of Christian themes in their lyrics, I'd say these songs are spiritual experiences in themselves.
1 Mr. Brightside The Killers
I feel so stupid for ranking this song #1. But I had to. I actually love that the song structure is literally just the same verse and chorus repeated twice. It's maintained popularity and relevancy for like 15 years now. Have you listened to alternative rock radio recently? Other bands are still trying to write their "Mr. Brightside." But it's its Mormon adolescence background that adds a dose of magical honesty to this song.
The song runs fluent with dramatic high school emotion that kids my age have all experienced. There's a tone of sexual frustration in its story, like Brandon is half-heartedly fighting to think of anything else. The couple in the song are into smoking, a sinful trait which every Mormon storyteller seems conscious to bring up. And "jealousy" is "turning saint into the sea." "Saints?" Well, it's easier to say than The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.

50 Greatest Hip-Hop Albums Of All Time (acc. google)

I like music lists. So I google search stuff like "greatest hip hop albums all time." Google itself will respond with its own list of sorts; a ribbon of hip-hop albums it considers the best. Interesting list, but no actual commentary. 
This is where I come in. 
You can google the same thing twice and could look a little different, but generally the same idea. Their picks are pretty predictable to music nerds like myself. 6 artists have 3 albums each. 7 artists have 2 albums each. There's 32/50 for ya right there. 10 albums produced by Dr. Dre. 9 albums are hosted by members of either Wu-Tang Clan or N.W.A. I mean honestly, I haven't heard all these albums all the way through. Yet somehow, I know at least 1 track from each of them. So I'm gonna pretend like I've heard all of them hundreds of times and provide a kinda snarky comment about each of them. Let's just get this over with. 

50 DMX It's Dark And Hell Is Hot 
DMX swears a lot.
49 Kendrick Lamar DAMN. 
Yeah, um, spoiler, Kendrick's on here a lot.
48 The Pharcyde Bizarre Ride II The Pharcyde
YA MAMA, YA MAMA, YA MAMA
47 Eminem The Eminem Show 
*token white guy
46 Black Star Mos Def & Talib Kweli Are Black Star 
Appropriately placed.
45 Ice Cube Death Certificate

Arguably my favorite album cover on this list. 

44 Dr. Octagon Dr. Octagonecologist
Kool Keith starts his career as a member of the at least somewhat accessible member 80's rap group Ultramagnetic MC's only to grow weirder with age to the point that he makes a 1996 concept album about a violent time-traveling gynecologist from Jupiter BECAUSE WHY NOT? 
43 Nas It Was Written 
I always assumed this was obviously Nas's 2nd best album, but lo and behold, there are 2 ranked higher than this. 
42 Boogie Down Productions Criminal Minded
I don't how people can look at these guys and say crap like "Golly gee, hip-hop used to be fun!"











41 Kanye West Late Registration
Somehow, over time, this has become Kanye's most underrated album.

40 Public Enemy Fear Of A Black Planet
1990 AOTY?
39 Dre. Dre Compton
Nah.
38 Ice Cube AmeriKKKa's Most Wanted
I'm pretty sure nobody who's ever watched Are We There Yet? has ever heard this album.

37 Lauryn Hill The Miseducation Of Lauryn Hill
Shout out to the girl I dated from Chicago whom never gets on facebook; this album still reminds me of you.
36 De La Soul 3 Feet High And Rising
Daaaaang this is ranked super low. 
35 Run-DMC Raising Hell 
Sorry to keep sounding like an "old-head," but daaaaang this is ranked super low. 
34 Mos Def Black On Both Sides 
Anyone else kinda enjoy that Be Kind Rewind movie Mos Def did with Jack Black? 

33 50 Cent Get Rich Or Die Tryin'
SO OVERRATED [drops mic]. 
32 GZA Liquid Swords 
Of course this deserves a spot on this list, I'm just surprised there's no Ghostface on here as well. 
31 Mobb Deep The Infamous 
Gotta love Mobb Deep. 
30 2Pac Me Against The World

"Dear Mama" will always be a personal favorite.
29 OutKast ATLiens
Um, yeah, Outkast, kinda good.
28 Beastie Boys Licensed To Ill
"Can you think of a stupider name than the Beastie Boys? If you could think of a stupider name, I'd probably be pretty impressed." -MCA
27 Fugees The Score
Fun fact: I was introduced to Fugees via the Sesame Street special Elmopalooza. 

26 Kendrick Lamar To Pimp A Butterfly
Love the video where Kendrick dresses up like Uncle Sam and makes funny faces. 

25 OutKast Stankonia

"Ppht, yeah right Andre, like our country's actually gonna be bombing Baghdad any time soon," said the music critic giving a first listen to Stankonia's "B.O.B" 2 days before George W. Bush would be elected president. 

24 Beastie Boys Paul's Boutique 
I believe that everyone should listen to this album amidst contemplating the meaning of life. 
23 Nas Stillmatic
Okay, so "Ether" is the ultimate dis track, but this shouldn't be here. 
22 Eminem The Slim Shady LP 
I'll never fully understand the rap scene in 1999, but I remember hearing Eminem songs when I was a kid in the back of Atlee Zipf's van driving through Oakland at night and it seemed pretty fitting. 
21 Dr. Dre 2001
It bangs, but too high. 
20 A Tribe Called Quest Midnight Marauders

We on award tour, with Muhammad my man!
19 Madvillain Madvillainy
You can't see me, but I'm applauding.
18 Kanye West The College Dropout
As a guy with a Bachelor's Degree working some random local menial job, this album just sounds better every year.
17 Kanye West My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy
Fun fact: Released on my 20th birthday.
16 The Notorious B.I.G. Life After Death
If you haven't seen the video of Dinosaurs' Earl Sinclair lip-syncing to "Hypnotize," here's a link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5VzZi-YrkRY  

15 2Pac All Eyez On Me

I just want you all to know that some of Pac's richest friends paid the bail money to get Pac out of jail for his sexual abuse charges just so Dr. Dre could save the guy's career with "California Love" and I always sound like a terrible person when I put it that way but that's kinda exactly what happened. 
14 A Tribe Called Quest The Low End Theory 
As much as I praise these other albums, I'd straight-up put this in my top 10. 
13 Kendrick Lamar good kid. m.A.A.d city 
Brought to you by Domino's! 
12 OutKast Aquemini
Only ripens with age. 
11 Jay-Z The Blueprint
If Ray Lewis can have an amazing Super Bowl season after tiptoeing past murder charges, Jay-Z can make an amazing 2X Platinum album after pleading guilty to stabbing a guy, because this is 2001.

10 N.W.A. Straight Outta Compton
[sighs] No, I haven't seen the movie yet.
9 Eric B. & Rakim Paid In Full
THIS IS SOME OF THE DOPEST STUFF YOU'LL EVER HEAR
8 Public Enemy It Takes A Nation Of Millions To Hold Us Back
This is google's highest ranking 80s album on the list, and I gotta agree with 'em.
7 Raekwon Only Built 4 Cuban Linx...
Long before there was Chef Curry, there was Chef Raekwon.
6 Jay-Z Reasonable Doubt
Beyonce was only 14 years old when Jay made this aaaaand things just got awkward...

5 Eminem The Marshall Mathers LP 
So wait, does everybody from Detroit have an annoying voice? Or is it just Eminem and Jack White and Danny Brown and Iggy Pop and Madonna and Xzibit and the guy from MC5 and Ted Nugent and Kid Rock and... 
4 The Notorious B.I.G. Ready To Die 
Fun fact: First rap album I ever owned, as stolen from a buddy of mine at Redfish in 2009. 
3 Wu-Tang Clan Enter The Wu-Tang (36 Chambers)

One of my older brothers used to think Wu-Tang Clan was a jokey rap group that hipsters only enjoyed ironically, and despite his being totally incorrect, it's not like ya can't see where he's coming from. 

2 Dr. Dre The Chronic 
I also think this is the 2nd greatest hip-hop album of all time. 
1 Nas Illmatic 
I also think this is the greatest hip-hop album of all time.