Cache Valley is home of the best-- and the dumbest-- small towns imaginable. We've got places with canyon access and we've got places with terrible water quality. I'm not sure how many towns are exactly in Cache Valley... but here's 20 of them. And they're ranked!
NOT ON THE LIST Nibley
Nibley is like this crappy swamp-like area crammed along Highway 165. In July 2014, residents had to use water from bordering towns because City of Nibley's water quality was too poor to drink or make use of. Yeah, screw this place.
I've never stepped out of the car in Riverside, but it's got nice houses. Kinda like LA.
19 College Ward
I never knew this place existed until one summer two of my friends moved there. I'm convinced the street they lived on was the only street in town.
18 Dewyville + Garland
I don't think I've been to these places, but they have cool names.
Benson Dam is kinda pretty, although my experience is peppered with bad memories of an old job I had where I'd hang out with a developmentally-disabled individual who liked to fish there. I'd just sit on a rock and watch him catch carp while he cranked up 2000's techno for 2 hours.
16 Hyde Park
You look at the side of the hill in Hyde Park and you'll see giant houses stacked on top of each other. You can actually drive to the biggest, highest house. It looks like a ski resort from afar, but I've mistakenly been in their driveway. It has a South African flag! And oh yeah, I got a driving ticket in Hyde Park before. So screw this place.
I've been here multiple times before I moved here. It's a useful rest stop beside I-84. But most importantly; It has a Denny's! You can eat there at 3:00am! Which I I've done.
The Zipf family lives here. They're pretty cool. They get ducks, owls and skunks. And the access to Smithfeild canyon is an understated green area I highly recommend.
Lewiston has a movie theatre that shows 1 movie at a time. It also has a gas station with a super ghetto bathroom. I found this town on a random car ride with Keith Jackman. That random.
If you want to get a deliciously greasy heart attack, I highly recommend Big J's Burgers. They serve burgers, Mexican food and pizza at a wholesale price. And oh yeah, I seriously had a job interview to be a drama teacher at their high school when I was a freshman in college! What were they thinking?
Oddball LDS historic figure Martin Harris is buried in Clarkston. The town holds an outdoor Martin Harris Pageant every summer by their cemetery, including questionable acting and small town theatrical technique. (sigh) Gotta love this place!
Wellsville has a mountain range named after it. It also has this neat-o tabernacle building on Main Street. And the American Heritage Center hosts Baby Animal Days every year. Bonus!
|Roommate Tyson at Newton Dam|
8 River Heights
River Heights has the world's coolest playground! And I have relatives buried in its cemetery.
7 North Logan
North Logan should be ranked lower. It has a terrible Wal-Mart which clogs surrounding traffic like Big J's Burgers does to your arteries. However, it also has Green Canyon! Possibly my favorite local trailhead. Just look out for bears (not a joke).
Paradise has a spacious, green landscape that's great for building environmentally with giant houses that are arguably bad for the environment. But yeah, I'd live there. And it has cool abandoned buildings that are impossible to break into. Don't ask me how I know that...
|The park in Millville|
|Cache Valley below/behind us|
|Floating bondfire at Porcupine Dam|
Hyrum! Home of Hyrum Reservoir! A great place to hang-glide, eat pizza, or take a pee break! This is also where I've seen a hokey fireworks show every 4th of July. Main Street has some great Christmas decorations and some dude who lives there used to have a bison in his yard. Bison are always cool. This is where USU holds Big Band Swing dances, which are fun, 50% of the time.
Providence is as close as Cache Valley gets to Mayberry. It's where my gramma Kay Empey grew up as a child. I've found her old street corner, which probably looks just as quaint as it did back then. In preparation for my first half marathon, I eventually ran every street in Providence. On Saturday mornings, elderly folks would wave at me from their front porches. There's a nice canyon entrance that marks the halfway point of my 10-mile route. Perhaps Providence is my #1 due to my personal, biased, intimate connection with all its streets.