The #1 Singles From My High School Years (tier list)

I graduated middle school in June 2005. I started junior college in August 2009. I began high school at Linden HS in California, and graduated from Jerome HS in Idaho. During that time, I changed a lot as a teenage person. And my music taste changed a lot. But none of that personal stuff matters tonight.

While I was in high school, 61 songs topped the US Billboard chart. I listened to all 61 of these songs while I was at work today. And I'm gonna rank these songs based on how I feel about them today. 

Why am I doing this? My car is dying. I need a new car. I don't want to think about these things. I want to make a dumb music list about some of pop history's dumbest music ever.

How am I ranking these? While listening to each song, I wrote a couple generic words describing my thoughts on each track. So these 61 songs are divided into 20 tiers. Most of these "tiers" are just variations on the words "good" and "ok" and "bad." So to say this is a proper "ranked" list is a stretch. 

So my 1997 Ford Taurus lasted 25 years. How have these songs stood the test of time? Ummm... Expect a lot of negative commentary.

i. REALLY GOOD

- We Belong Together - Mariah Carey Late 2005

- Don't Forget About Us - Mariah Carey Late 2005

- Gold Digger - Kanye West (ft Jamie Foxx) Late 2005

- SexyBack - Justin Timberlake 2006

- My Love - Jutin Timberlake (ft T.I.) 2006

- Umbrella - Rihanna (ft Jay-Z) 2007

- Single Ladies (Put a Ring on It) - Beyoncé 2008

These Mariah Carey tracks sound dope as hell. They're 17 years old. They've aged better than the stuff from her 90s hit factory, to an obvious extent. "Gold Digger" is only this high because it's on Late Registration. Arguably the best album from this era. The-Dream wrote and produced "Umbrella," which explains a lot. "My Love" is probably my #1 pick from this bunch. One of the most naturally sexy songs I've ever heard. And I go ride-or-die with this: T.I. was the best rapper alive in 2006. 

ii. (REALLY) GOOD

- Promiscuous - Nelly Furtado (ft Timbaland) 2006

- Irreplaceable - Beyoncé 2006

- Stronger - Kanye West 2007

- Just Dance - Lady Gaga (ft Colby O'Donis) Early 2009

- Poker Face - Lady Gaga Early 2009

"Promiscuous." The only song I've come across that name-drops Steve Nash. And appropriately, both Furtado and Nash are from Victoria BC. "Stronger" is probably better than "Gold Digger," but I guess I was just really feeling that sax hook today. Lady Gaga's style of electropop is so freaking refreshing. "Just Dance" deserved a better rap verse. 

iii. GOOD

- Check on It - Beyoncé (ft Slim Thug) 2006

- Touch My Body - Mariah Carey 2008

Beyoncé has a song on each of these top 3 tiers. People forget. Before she was known as a cultural icon, Beyoncé was just another pop star muscling her way through the annoying world of radio airplay. And she was damn good at it.

iv. OK/GOOD

- Ridin' - Chamillionaire (ft Krayzie Bone) 2006

- Say It Right - Nelly Furtado 2007

- Love in This Club - Usher (ft Young Jeezy) 2008

Did not think Chamillionaire would be ranked this high. But I really wish I had a car today. In other news... Usher + Jeezy = Brilliant.

v. PRETTY GOOD

- Money Maker - Ludacris (ft Pharrell) 2006

- Bleeding Love - Leona Lewis 2008

Gotta admit. These songs are pretty good.

vi. KINDA GOOD/WTF

- Viva la Vida - Coldplay 2008

I've always at least "kinda" liked this song, but real talk, what in god's name is going on here? What other songs sound like this? There's like an epic Arabian strings section going on and a pretty standard driving beat, while Chris Martin's singing some assorted Christian nonsense. Sounds like a cool song formula, I've just never actually cared about the lyrical meaning. A standout among dancefloor pop songs about hoes and bling, sure. But is it "better" than the competition?

vii. KINDA GOOD

- Run It! - Chris Brown (ft Juelz Santana) Late 2005

- Live Your Life - T.I. (ft Rihanna) 2008

Yeah, those synths on "Run It!" are kinda hot. Despite how poorly T.I.'s 2008 commercial breakout has aged, the themes on "Live Your Life" are pretty original territory for him; complete with some quality verses.  

viii. OK

- Give It to Me - Timbaland (ft Nelly Furtado, Justin Timberlake) 2007

- Lollipop - Lil Wayne (ft Static Major) 2008

Timbaland has already produced 4 songs mentioned in this list, and this track kinda just sounds like a leftover. Lil Wayne was on top of the world in 2008. I always thought "Lollipop" was a bad representation of his skills. 14 years later, it's "A Milli" that's remained on rotation. 

ix. KINDA OK

- Grillz - Nelly (ft Paul Wall, Ali & Gipp) 2006

- Temperature - Sean Paul 2006

- What Goes Around... Comes Around - Justin Timberlake 2007

- Makes Me Wonder - Maroon 5 2007

What the hell does "kinda ok" even mean anyways? "Grillz" and "Temperature" are kinda annoying. The JT track on here isn't my favorite of his. What's sad about "Makes Me Wonder" is that I do enjoy it, yet the band's songwriting woes still clearly hold them back. 

x. NOT THAT GOOD/OK

- SOS - Rihanna 2006

To simply critique this song: Love the sample. Hate the chorus.

xi. NOT THAT BAD

- This Is Why I'm Hot - Mims 2007

I shoulda placed this tier lower. Because this song is bad. But it's not THAT bad.

xii. NOT THAT GOOD

- So Sick - Ne-Yo 2006

- Buy U a Drank (Shawty Snappin') - T-Pain (ft Yung Joc) 2007

- No One - Alicia Keys 2007

- Take a Bow - Rihanna 2008

I tried to make myself feel nostalgic about probably-not timeless T-Pain auto-tune, but this really isn't the greatest song in the world. I've always been simultaneously pro-Alicia Keys and anti-"No One." Such a mid song. "The award for The Best Liar goes to you." That's a real lyric from "Take a Bow." Even with context, it's a questionable choice. 

xiii. NOT GOOD

- London Bridge - Fergie 2006

- Kiss Kiss - Chris Brown (ft T-Pain) 2007

- Crack a Bottle - Eminem (ft Dr. Dre, 50 Cent) Early 2009

Listening to these tracks, I was like... "I don't know what to call this. But if you ask me whether this is good or not? This is not good."

xiv. KINDA BAD

- Whatever You Like - T.I. 2008

- Womanizer - Britney Spears 2008

Tried not to think too hard about these. The songwriting crimes committed here are hard to justify. 

xv. BAD

- Don't Matter - Akon 2007

- Hey There Delilah - Plain White T's 2007

- Crank That (Soulja Boy) - Soulja Boy Tell 'Em 2007

- My Life Would Suck Without You - Kelly Clarkson Early 2009

Now this is a motley crew. The Kelly Clarkson song should be lower. The other 3? I think my enjoyment of these tracks depends on the day. "Don't Matter" is some nice playlist filler. "Delilah" has some ass lyrics, but at least it's sincere. As for Soulja Boy, I found out what "Superman that hoe" means, and I can never think of that song the same again.

xvi. PRETTY BAD

- Hips Don't Lie - Shakira (ft Wyclef Jean) 2006

- Big Girls Don't Cry - Fergie 2007

- I Kissed a Girl - Katy Perry 2008

Shakira had the first song I came across today that had me like, " Yeah, this is pretty bad...." Some seemingly great artistic ideas on the surface. But the mix is awful. Not sure how this topped the charts in a year where Timbaland beats were hot. The others songs have similar issues. A couple of good ideas condensed into weak songs.

xvii. (REALLY) BAD

- Girlfriend - Avril Lavigne 2007

I think this is better than the 12 songs in the next tier.

xiii. REALLY BAD

- Inside Your Heaven - Carrie Underwood Late 2005

- Laffy Taffy - D4L 2006

- You're Beautiful - James Blunt 2006

- Bad Day - Daniel Powter 2006

- I Wanna Love You - Akon (ft Snoop Dogg) 2006

- Glamorous - Fergie (ft Ludacris) 2007

- Beautiful Girls - Sean Kingston 2007

- Low - Flo Rida (ft T-Pain) 2008

- Disturbia - Rihanna 2008

- So What - P!nk 2008

- Boom Boom Pow - The Black Eyed Peas Early 2009

- I Gotta Feeling - The Black Eyed Peas Early 2009

"Sound of silver, talk to me. Makes me want to feel like a teenager. Then you remember the feelings of a real-live emotional teenager. Then you think again." -James Murphy

I could talk at-length about each individual song here. I bring up that Murphy quote because I think most of these songs perfectly embody the spirit of the teenage psyche. 

Smiling away a bad day. Failing to meet beautiful strangers. Having an emotional reaction to sappy power ballads. Partying. Horniness. Joking about suicidality. Noticing boys are creepy. Starting fights. Learning how to spell. I think these songs cover all these bases. Now just remember experiencing these feelings at a time in your life when your age limited your emotional intelligence to the size of a peanut. Then try turning that into art.

This is your playlist.

xix. REALLY REALLY BAD

- Right Round - Flo Rida (ft Ke$ha) Early 2009

I'm not sure why I added a 2nd "really" to this song. Maybe because the longevity of Flo Rida's successful career just gets on my nerves.

xx. REALLY BAD/THE WORST

- Do I Make You Proud - Taylor Hicks 2006

I have zero recollection of ever hearing this song. I know it existed. Taylor Hicks won the 3rd season of American Idol. So a single under his name had to exist. Finally hearing it, I'm convinced this song only exists for the sole purpose of existing. However... I have heard the "Weird Al" Yankovic parody of this song before. "Do I Creep You Out." I recommend the music video. It's actually brilliant. So thank you for trying, Taylor Hicks. Your legacy of brief TV celebrity status was no match against the genius of Weird Al.

Damn. I probably have to walk to work for like the next 2 weeks.

Me Every Day

We are all buried in memories. 

Which is not necessarily a bad thing. A lot of us just proceed digging forward through life. So while we're adding more memories to pile above our heads, the weight doesn't bother you that much when you stay focused on digging deeper into life. Until you die. Then you are buried beneath literal soil. But I guess you can also say your body is buried beneath the memories you left behind. And in each case, you're unable to dig. Analogy of the year.

I think there's such a thing as being too focused on the memories of your past weighing above you. I also think there's danger in continuously digging without direction or taking breaks. I think about both of these things a lot. So I usually choose the middle ground and just do nothing. I suppose this isn't concerning, on the surface. But as mentioned in the previous paragraph, to stop digging--to stop living--is to be dead.

Everyone reading this has known me at some point in my life. So you know me. But which version of me do you know?

A lot of my choosing to remain stagnant in my life choices comes from my personal cognitive issues. I don't want to move forward with something, unless I 100% know it isn't a stupid idea. Which is a tough nut to crack, because I believe most of my past choices were stupid ideas. I don't want to accept a lot of the memories that hang above me. To match that, I'm convinced that for me to dig any further at all is to dig recklessly. Does that make sense?

So which version of me do you know? The middle schooler obsessed with classic rock? The skinny teenager who developed an ambition for acting? The LDS missionary who talked about Jesus a lot? The college journalist, or the college stage manager? The more introverted (and isolated) adult who hates his job? It's crazy for me to admit this, but through all those eras of my life, I was the same person. I have always been me every day. And I can only be me going forward. 

As obvious as those statements may sound to some, I'll contextualize why the concept of "being me" is huge for me. I struggle to actually feel like myself. I tend to look at a past regret and shove it aside, like, "nah, that doesn't count, that wasn't the real me." I can't do that anymore. Whether I felt like myself at that time of my life or not, it was literally me who did it. Even now, I'm hesitant to make choices and take actions in moments where I don't feel like myself. I don't want to risk further potential regrets. But I kinda have to. Real life requires risks.

I think some people with fond memories of me might be confused reading this, like, wondering if I've secretly done a bunch of illegal stuff in my past or something. That's not what I'm talking about. I kinda just regret most things, period. Times where I acted too self-serious, as well as times where I acted relatively naïve. The times where I asked a girl out, and the times where I didn't. Heck, I'm not sure what I'm gonna do today. I have the whole day open. But I'll probably do something stupid. Do you see what I'm getting at?

To step aside from the pity party, 2022 has had some good moments. My therapist and I have recently discovered I have avoidant personality disorder. Which explains a lot of the mindset and emotion behind a blog post like this. Like, at least I know why I think the way I think. I have a better understanding of my deepest beliefs about myself, and what specific obstacles I could be working on.

People have always told me that making progress with mental health is a slow process. I'm pretty sure I'm in the thick of that right now. No instant changes coming from me any time soon. But more importantly, I really don't feel "stuck" anymore. So as for my future self, I'm still playing life relatively safe for now. I think I'll run a half marathon at the end of the summer. It would be my fourth. I have a dating app on my phone. Ineffective, but still used. Umm... That's about it. I just have to accept that whatever my next steps are, it will be me doing it. And that's who I've always been.

Thanks for reading this, by the way. This was long.