My last (and only other) post from my "girl complexes" series really turned into a list of underlying sexist themes that come from everyday things guys say. It seemed particularly directed at guys who date a lot. This post is different. It's a stand for everyday male heroes. Also, this calls out some guys. And, well, maybe qualities I find attractive? Whatevs. You'll see.
I was inspired to write this during sacrament meeting today. These 2 guys in the ward gave talks and I could tell by their talks that they were great guys. One was an David Christensen. He seemed like a swell guy (and he is); just genuinely happy and more concerned about the sincerity of his testimony than about his delivery. The other was some guy named Jeremy Leavitt. He was a universally handsome guy. He had the biggest biceps I've seen in months. His talk was just as great. He told stories that proved the truth of doctrinal principles. 2 great talks by 2 great guys! I don't know whether the Jeremy guy is single or not, but I am 99% sure David is. Just a hunch. Maybe I'll write a blog about my hunches of singleness. ANYWAYS... I digress...
It was ironic that we later had a combined Elders Quorum/Relief Society lesson on dating, because I had already been contemplating the topic for an hour. The two guys who spoke in church today are deserving a good girl out there! Now... is there a definition for "good guy" and/or "good girl"?
*NOT EVERY PHYSICALLY UNATTRACTIVE GUY IS NICE* You know the movie character. The underdog. May be underweight, may be overweight. He uses his positive life skills to win the universally attractive girl who shares the same values. Sometimes true, but not always. I appreciate a girl being attracted to genuinely nice qualities. But I know plenty of guys out there who are just plain bitter about not being to win the hearts of eye-candy girls. I call that immaturity.
*NOT EVERY GOOD-LOOKIN' GUY IS SCUM* I love Beauty and the Beast. Gaston is a douche. There are lots of Gastons out there. But I gotta admit, there are some handsome broskees out there wearing name-brand apparel and v-neck shirts who have the best of intentions. Underneath their muscles and presumably upper-class payroll their parents get, there's a sweet guy.
*DON'T WORSHIP THE "AIM HIGH" PRINCIPLE* I've heard lots of returned missionaries say their mission president gave them the wife-seeking advice "aim high." Dude... WHAT IS "HIGH"? You talking about spirituality? Physicality? Either way, you should never go for a girl whose moral or physical standards go beyond anything you are willing to have yourself. In other words, read your scriptures and eat a salad.
*GET WHAT YOU WANT* Hand-in-hand with the "aim high" principle, some guys purposely aim low. Both are wrong. If I'm not mistaken, it's the level where you are that appears most attractive. Some guys are all about personality. Their friends say, "Dude, you can go cuter than that." Don't listen to them. If you're enjoying the relationship you have, roll with it.
*HEY SCOTT, WHAT ARE YOU ATTRACTED TO?* I'm not going to answer that.
I'd like to leave with my theory that I believe the true meaning of maturity is genuine happiness. Not like you have to be jolly, but when you're truly happy, you complain less and are more productive. Like... an adult. Everybody be happy out there. And don't believe all stereotypes. Or Fox News.
I particularly liked the parts about salad and Fox news. But also, I liked your other points. Personally, I think we make things too hard. I'm not sure how to un-make dating hard exactly, but I do really like these ideas.
ReplyDeleteGood points. Relationships should always be built upon friendships. If you are truley friends with your significant other then your mutual and deep respect for one another will help you through the challenges ahead. With my husband we were friends first, then it turned into something more before I knew it it was thinking "of course we are getting married."
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