I don't really know how to reconnect with my childhood. Hard to tell whether I want to, or need to, or neither. I just have a million different ideas for long blogposts about music topics I'm certain nobody cares about. I thought I'd meet in the middle and write about my favorite childhood band: THE BARENAKED LADIES! We always just called them BnL.
"One Week" was a standout radio song for me as an 8 year-old in 1998. My siblings and I quickly acquired the band's whole discography. The band released an official greatest hits compilation in 2001, perhaps marking the end of the first stage of their career. But that wasn't quite over yet. BnL had 1 more album promised in their major label record contract. So they released Everything to Everyone in 2003, in seemingly reluctant fashion.
As for me, I had a brief change of music taste. From age 11-13, I obsessively devoured a strict diet of classic rock. Constantly requesting songs on the radio and buying Led Zeppelin CDs. When I found out my original favorite band BnL had a new single and new album out, I switched back over to being a fan of new music. So Everything to Everyone is responsible for me not becoming a total "old-head" music guy.
There are 2 important things about this album that went over my head as a kid:
1- This album is extremely depressing.
1- This album is extremely depressing.
2- The music totally sucks.
I should have noticed these things immediately. While you can see the CD in stores with the album title written on the flag, it's a trick. The words are on the CD wrapping. So when you unwrap it, you see the album art is just the ironically happy band members waving a white flag. Uh-oh.
I've ranked every song on this album from best to worst, including a blurb and the most depressing line from each song. All these songs go over distinct themes I never understood until I had my own personal experiences with depression as an adult. Its content isn't for children. And yet I don't know who it's made for.
14 -- Testing 1,2,3
I'll always like this song, man. The most natural melody on the whole album. Even if Ed Robertson is a contender for worst vocalist of all time. This is the only song from the album they played when I watched them live in 2006.
Most Depressing Line: Would anybody cheer me if I acted less like me?
13 -- War on Drugs
This song is obviously depressing, and even a kid would know. A big slow ballad that directly talks about suicide. Hard to tell how much storytelling is biographical, considering Steven Page secretly had cocaine problems behind the scenes.
Most Depressing Line: Near where I live, there's a viaduct where people jump when they're out of luck.
12 -- Maybe Katie
Not much to say about this one. I'm certain that if this song was offered to Fountains of Wayne, they wouldn't say no.
Most Depressing Line: Everyone you ever swore you'd love for life? I don't know them anymore.
11 -- Next Time
This is where things get interesting. The music kinda sounds like background noise at a circus. Lyrically, it grapples with living with your mistakes, as if doing so isn't actually possible. For better or worse, this song epitomizes the album.
Most Depressing Line: You can count on me to mess it up; you can count on me to let you down.
10 -- For You
I always assumed this was a love song. I revisited the album recently, and this is more like an "emo" love song. Like, the singer has too much shame in their own self to express their love. Someone who doesn't truly live life on the outside. A lot of indifference and self-doubt colliding here. Gives the woodwind solo an unsettling quality. More points for Ed here.
Most Depressing Line: I will give you all I could ever give, though it's less than you will need.
9 -- Take It Outside
I used to think this was a dumb song about a guy who doesn't like fistfights. But this is about a man who doesn't want to risk anything at all that might lead to any confrontation. It's about isolation and abandonment. Not seeing the purpose in trying. Oddly enough, as a kid, I didn't care for this song. But this legit sounds like something I would write in my 30s.
Most Depressing Line: I choose to play the clown, or blow by and never make a sound.
8 -- Upside Down
This song sounds like a trainwreck. Just gonna take time to appreciate the onslaught of depressing lyrics from Steven. He makes a reference to Andy Warhol and The Parable of the Talents as he presents this character who can't grasp the concepts of growth and change. It's all anxiety-inducing.
Most Depressing Line: If each attempted act of sabotage destroys all hope, I won't be needing a rope.
7 -- Have You Seen My Love?
They slapped a nice little acoustic ballad at the end like "Her Majesty" on Abbey Road. This is the better song, really. A disturbing little quip they added in there, shown below.
Most Depressing Line: I became a man in your arms, now I'm helpless as a child.
6 -- Shopping
Most people who've heard this album would call this the worst song. The beats are actually provided by The Blue Man Group, in case you were wondering. But I myself often associate music like this with depression. Something so deliberately stupid and exuberant, it's an obvious clown mask over a helpless artist. Like something from Son of Schmilsson. Still sucks though.
Most Depressing Line: Everything will always be alright.
5 -- Second Best
A run of songs on this list from the 2nd half of the album that really could have been removed from the tracklist. Just an uninspired rock song here that was born to never be performed live.
Most Depressing Line: Is it you? Well it's you enough, I guess.
4 -- Unfinished
There's a Modest Mouse song that says "everyone's life ends, but no one ever completes it." This song vaguely dabbles in that theory, but in an intentionally obnoxious way that I'm never in the mood to listen to.
Most Depressing Line: The history of me is incomplete.
3 -- Aluminum
Some interesting insight on depression here, but I find it musically non-emotive to the point that I wonder why they bothered recording this.
Most Depressing Line: You can shine like silver all you want, but you're just aluminum.
2 -- Celebrity
This is the album opener, and it's a soulless turd of a song. It goes over the lifeless dream of becoming a celebrity, and I just wish it served a purpose beyond just talking about that over a 4-piece rock band playing a few chords. Also: Worst piano hook ever.
Most Depressing Line: There's an emptiness that's eating me.
1 -- Another Postcard
Ah, yes. The big dumb lead single that was supposed to get the record company some money. They knew what they were doing here. But that's the problem with a trolling song like this: It still exists. They still went forward with recording it. I heard this crap on the radio. The intro sounds strangely like Outkast's "We Luv Deez Hoez," then we hear a white Canadian joke-rap about chimpanzee postcards, and it's followed by the laziest pop chorus of all time. No wonder you'd add this on an album full of songs about hating yourself.
Most Depressing Line: I got depraved chimps.
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