An (Assorted) Interview w/ Kanye West... The Presidential Campaign

The following is an interview I had with Kanye West about his future presidential campaign. It features actual quotes from Kanye himself.

ME: Hi there folks, I'm here today with critically acclaimed rapper and producer Kanye West. Mr. West has recently announced his run for our nation's presidential office in the 2020 election. He announced this at an awards ceremony that nobody should ever have to care about. Mr. West, how do you feel about your decision to run for president?
KW: This pimp is at the top of Mount Olympus! 
ME: Oh! Well that's a lot more positive response than I was expecting. Why is that?
KW: I am the next Nelson Mandela.
ME: That's awfully confident of you, Mr. West.
KW: I'm about to break the rules, but don't tell anybody.
ME: Oh, okay, I won't. Haha! Well, what will be your first campaigning strategy?
KW: The whole nation standing at attention as long as I'm in Polo's smilin'.
ME: What is that supposed to mean?
KW: Racism still alive they just be concealin' it.
ME: I can somewhat see what you mean now...
KW: Face it, Jerome get more time than Brandon!
ME: I assume you have some strong opinions about the growing reports of black men being killed by white cops?
KW: I don't need no RoboCop.
ME: I have no idea what that means. But okay. What are your economic plans as president?
KW: We claim other people kids on our income tax. We take that money. cop work, then push packs to get paid.
ME: That's a unique idea you have! What do you think your opponents are doing?
KW: They prolly all in the Hamptons braggin' 'bout what they made.
ME; You really think they're that evil?
KW: They say I was the abomination of Obama's nation.
ME: Well, I guess a pretty bad way to start the conversation... any plans on increasing employment?
KW: What you rappers could get is a job from me.
ME: Anything else?
KW: Can I at least get a raise on a minimum wage?
ME: Ah, I gotcha. Do you ever feel like our government has the tendency of being tainted?
KW: I know the government administered AIDS.
ME: That's pretty extreme... Mr. West, do you support the idea of "big government"?
KW: No one man should have all that power.
ME: Really? Where do you get your political ideals from?
KW: George Bush got the answers.
ME: What makes former president Bush so appealing to you?
KW: George Bush doesn't care about black people.
ME: But wait-- you're-- umm... nevermind. I think I'll just cut our interview short today--
KW: Imma let you finish!
ME: Okay, well being as brief as possible, answer me: Why should I vote Kanye West for my president in 2020?
KW: Two words: United States.

And there you have it.

This really happened