Friday, September 12, 2025

My 100 Favo/Best Albums of the 80s


As usual, I'm turning my thoughts--and not my ears--to the 80s. I was actually listening to Radiohead when I started writing this. 
I just think about 80s music a lot. I rarely actually revisit any of it. Because no matter how much music I try out from this decade, I'll never totally understand it. Outside of a few albums, I'm unable to love it as much as music from its surrounding decades. But tonight, I try to trickle down the subjectively and objectively great music from this era onto 1 list. Some albums ranked by how often I listen to them. And some inclusions by how much I simply think about them.


#100-81

100 -- Danzig -- Danzig
It's funny that I tend to prefer this rock album over undeniable classics like Back in Black or Appetite for Destruction. Unlike those two albums, this is true to its purpose without coming off super douchey. But it's funny, because the actual person Glenn Danzig is super douchey.

99 -- Janet Jackson -- Rhythm Nation 1814
80s Michael Jackson is basically its own genre, but after Janet released this in 1989, Michael spent much of his next album trying to sound like this.

98 -- Bad Brains -- Bad Brains
Yeah, so there are a few classic punk albums on here. This is the only one that was released with liner notes from Ira Kaplan. 

97 -- The Fall -- This Nation's Saving Grace
In line with my intro about how I think about 80s music more often than I actually listen to it, The Fall are the ultimate example of this issue. 

96 -- Bauhaus -- In the Flat Field
This slot could have easily been taken by an early Siouxsie and the Banshees album, but it's worth noting that I actually went through a little Bauhaus phase when I was in college because I was into Iceage. 

95 -- Paul McCartney -- McCartney II
I initially had Kraftwerk's Computer World in this slot, but I think this album is equally weird and relatively unknown. Aside from the fact that it's by one of the most famous artists of all time.

94 -- Young Marble Giants -- Colossal Youth
Just now realizing this band sounds a lot like The xx. Minus the "cutesy/sexy" corniness.

93 -- King Crimson -- Discipline
The definitive "heady" prog rock back tried making a fun new wave album and it's a lovable parcel of music history.

92 -- Nine Inch Nails -- Pretty Hate Machine
I think there's an alternate universe where Nine Inch Nails don't make any good music in the 90s, and the classic status of this album gets an upward bump. Crazy how a perfectionist undertaking like this somehow became overshadowed. 

91 -- Wipers -- Youth of America
Most of the 90s Pacific Northwest indie rock acts would go on to sound nothing like this, although I can hear some future Unwound influence in here. 

90 -- Cocteau Twins -- Treasure
Robert Smith has supposedly described this albums as "The most romantic sound I've ever heard." Knowing who Robert Smith is, that clears.

89 -- Slayer -- Reign in Blood
This is possibly the best metal album of the 80s. I just think it's cool that there are a lot of low-budget sound qualities and grandiose musical elements mushed together. They were trying to create an epic trip through Hell from Rick Rubin's garage. 

88 -- Steve Reich -- "Different Trains" / "Electric Counterpoint"
I always get the part where this one man says "1939" stuck in my head.

87 -- Manuel Gottsching -- E2-E4
This whole piece was recorded in 1 take using a sequencer from the early 80s. Gotta love these experiments that sound just as primitive as they do futuristic. 

86 -- EPMD -- Strictly Business
Aside from Erick Sermon having one of my favorite voices is rap, I love the whole attitude of this album. It's chill, it's energetic, it's dangerous, and it's all business. 

85 -- Slick Rick -- The Great Adventures of Slick Rick
This slot could have easily been taken by some Big Daddy Kane. But this is definitely one of the most impressionable rap albums you'll ever hear. Man with a Jamaican-British upbringing and has a eyeball injury that requires him to wear an eyepatch tells cartoonish stories of New York with the zaniest, nasty sense of humor imaginable.

84 -- Jane's Addiction -- Nothing's Shocking
Jane's Addiction have a misunderstood reputation. Mostly due to their terrible band name. But they were a perfect rock band for 2 albums. I'll live and die on that hill.

83 -- Television Personalities -- ...And Don't the Kids Just Love It
A delightfully small-scale post-punk album that manages to touch on a bunch of different subgenres from the young alt-rock scene. I considered putting The Soft Boys here.

82 -- Richard & Linda Thompson -- Shoot Out the Lights
"Wall of Death" is one of the greatest closers of all time and might be good enough in its own right to call this album a classic. But outside of that, yes, getting divorced sounds heartbreaking.

81 -- R.E.M. -- Document
So R.E.M. is actually on my Mt Rushmore for personal favorite bands, and I have a love/hate relationship with this album. Still on an independent label, they discovered this studio shine that made them sound as big as any arena rock band. This is cool. It's just that so much of this album is taken up by "kinda-sorta experimental" little songs. They'd learn to swing bigger with that on future albums.


#80-61

80 -- The Cure -- Kiss Me, Kiss Me, Kiss Me
From 1987-1992, The Cure released 3 albums that totaled in 211 minutes of music. It was like a shared realization that they were the living gods of alt-rock. Out of these 3 projects, I find this release to be artistically messy. But I wouldn't want it any other way.

79 -- Steely Dan -- Gaucho
I've heard a theory that a decade shouldn't be measured like '00-'09, but '01-'10. By that logic, I can see Gaucho as the official end of the 70s.

78 -- Talking Heads -- Speaking in Tongues
Get a load of this crap. Pop hits. Love songs. Having fun and stuff. What a bunch of sellouts. 

77 -- Prince -- Dirty Mind
Huh. There are 4 Prince albums on here. Bruce came pretty close, but I left out Tunnel of Love.

76 -- The Pogues -- Rum Sodomy & the Lash
Always have to listen to this album with the Wikipedia credits open on another tab. I can never tell which songs are Irish traditionals and which were written by Steve MacGowan in the 80s. Always impressed by their balancing between folklore and folk punk.

75 -- Godflesh -- Streetcleaner
I'll never consider myself a true fan of metal. All my favorite "metal" albums are a successful blend of metal with a different genre. So this scratches my itch on multiple levels. 

74 -- Fugazi -- 13 Songs
I find it unfortunate that the backstory and ethics of Fugazi tend to overshadow the fact that they just always fucking rock.

73 -- Arthur Russell -- World of Echo
The Arthur Russell rabbit hole goes deep. Down this burrow, we find some meditative sounds and sideways songs, all pieced together by a cello drenched in watery effects. We can save his avant-garde disco and orchestral minimalism and bedroom pop for another day.  

72 -- The Sisters of Mercy -- Floodland
Every time I've ever googled "greatest goth albums of all time," google always has this at #1. For those who haven't heard it: This album is ridiculous. In the same way how watching  Magic Johnson highlights is ridiculous, but also like how Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom is ridiculous. 

71 -- Descendants -- Milo Goes to College
This is some of the funniest stuff I've ever heard. I love the commentary on the little societal plights of young adult life. Growing up sucks.

70 -- Tracy Chapman -- Tracy Chapman
Tracy is one of the purest characters I've had the pleasure to listen to. Behind all the innocence, there's this blurred line between what's personal and what's political. This is a portrait of real life.

69 -- The Smiths -- The Smiths
The Smiths were pretty darn good. It's hard to call their debut "the one that started it all" considering they were always churning out singles in the meantime. But I do just appreciate how this band managed to sound so youthful and so immediately identifiable at the same time. 

68 -- The Feelies -- Crazy Rhythms
This post-punk classic tends to get lost in the heap. I never thought there was a line to be drawn between Unknown Pleasures and Vampire Weekend, but this would be it.

67 -- Beat Happening -- Beat Happening
A very small band on a very small budget making very small songs. The band would later dabble into loud+weird territory, but this is my favorite version of them.

66 -- Beastie Boys -- Licensed to Ill
The discourse around Beastie Boys changes every few years. I don't think it's cool to like them right now. This album alone presents a lot of reasons to love them or hate them. The guys who claimed "We do not play sucka music" accidentally invented frat rap.

65 -- Talk Talk -- Spirit of Eden
I think the majority of teenage boys all want the same kind of girl. They want someone cute and sweet and quiet. Chances are, they'll meet a lot of girls with this demeanor. The moment they realize these girls actually have their own personalities, the insecurity sets in. Someone so uniquely fair and faithful isn't supposed to be so challenging. I forgot where the heck I was going with this... I don't think Talk Talk are intentionally weird. They're just naturally challenging.

64 -- Roxy Music -- Avalon
Over the years, Roxy Music has somehow become underrated. The gods of art rock capped off their career by essentially inventing sophisti-pop. Can't top that.

63 -- Motorhead -- Ace of Spades
Lemmy pines for a simpler time when everyone carried a pistol and there was still cocaine in Coca-Cola.

62 -- Phillip Glass -- Glassworks
At this point in his career, this was actually Phillip Glass at his most accessible. I appreciate him dumbing things down for "real art" posers like me.

61 -- Sonic Youth -- EVOL
I originally had this album ranked at like 90-something, but realized that I've listened to this album A LOT and just don't have much commentary on it today.


#60-41

60 -- David Bowie -- Scary Monsters (and Super Creeps)
I think every list of best 80s albums that I've seen has Scary Monsters at #60. It's an interesting part of Bowie's career to me. Placed between his experimental Berlin Trilogy and his grocery store-friendly 80s run, this is his only album I'd blanket under "new wave."

59 -- Sade -- Diamond Life
You already know Sade is the most beautiful woman who's ever lived before you even see her. 

58 -- Peter Gabriel -- So
I wish I could say I prefer Peter Gabriel's weirdo stuff over this crossover into the mainstream. But I admire the consistency. All his usual calling cards are here. Some afrobeat, some unnerving synths, dark lyrical themes. I'm pretty impressed with his ability to turn that formula into hits.

57 -- Laurie Anderson -- Big Science
I feel like "Big Science" is a term that libertarians often use amongst each other. 

56 -- Pretenders -- Pretenders
Chrissie Hynde is one of my favorite lead singers of all time. And this is one of the greatest debuts of all time. A group of gifted songwriters dish out hit after hit, covering new wave from every angle. They're pop, they're punk, they can rock, they get sensitive. This band is something to aspire to.

55 -- Dead Kennedys -- Fresh Fruit for Rotting Vegetables
I grew up in California's Central Valley, and I used to love visiting San Francisco. Doing all the touristy stuff. It always had a cool atmosphere. I didn't even know anything about its political identity. I wouldn't say Dead Kennedys represent SanFran like that... Exaggerated violent language rules over any façade of dignity in this world.

54 -- Run-D.M.C. -- Raising Hell
Run-D.M.C. has become a forgotten cultural giant over time. Rolling Stone ranked them among the top 50 greatest artists of all time. Yet nobody talks about them that way. I guess I wouldn't rate them that high, but I think the kids need to listen to Raising Hell. Because forget cultural significance. These are just damn good songs.

53 -- My Bloody Valentine -- Isn't Anything
For what it's worth, I'm more likely to turn to MBV's 1987 You Made Me Realise EP. But I appreciate that they chose to go more obscure with their follow-up LP. Each song seems to go back-and-forth from blissful to blistering. 

52 -- Prince -- 1999
I'm in awe of this album's very existence. This is the reason why Prince blew up. One of the few artists to advance in artistic ambition and pop appeal at the same time.

51 -- Boogie Down Productions -- Criminal Minded By All Means Necessary
After the tragic murder of his friend and DJ Scott La Rock,  KRS-One achieved a level of conscious hip-hop that set the bars for both how preachy you're allowed to be and how good this type of rap can sound. A drastic change of pace from dedicating a whole song to how his DJ is so cool that he doesn't need to use a condom during sex. 

50 -- Metallica -- Master of Puppets
It's crazy to imagine a world before this album existed. It's like, just a few years before I was born, human beings heard this for the first time, and it was universally decided: "This is metal now."

49 -- Brian Eno & David Byrne -- My Life in the Bush of Ghosts
Ya know... It really is that hard not to always bring up the same handful of lauded artists all the time. There's a Brian Eno & David Byne album on this list, because of course the hell there is.

48 -- Public Image Ltd. -- Second Edition
I always feel a little less genuine when trying to praise the post-punk standards. I kinda just feel like I'm using different words to say "THIS IS WEIRD." With Second Edition, I can honestly say that everything sounds "big" here. Every niche genre needs its own maximalist album like this.  Something that represents it and celebrates it.

47 -- Eric B. & Rakim -- Paid in Full
I think Rakim should be top 10 on every list of greatest rappers ever. One of the few rappers where there are 2 separate eras that exist, before him and after him. Just wish this 10-song album had more than 7 songs with him rapping on it.

46 -- N.W.A. -- Straight Outta Compton
The attitude of N.W.A. earned them the title of "The Most Dangerous Group in the World." But the world doesn't know you (or fear you) if you don't sound able to conquer it. The production on this album gives us a glimpse into the future, which would proceed to be reigned by Dr. Dre. Just thinking about this album makes me feel like it's 110 degrees.

45 -- The Blue Nile -- Hats
I'm a sucker for singers who sound like tired old men. I mean, this guy's passionate, for sure. But very much old and tired. The perfect narrator for such a night. Loosen up your tie, pour yourself some scotch, and watch the blue-tinted rainfall from your 5th story penthouse. 

44 -- Glenn Branca -- The Ascension
I don't like it when people talk about things they don't really know that much about. This is a "no wave" album. A genre I know so little about, I have to put it in quotation marks. But it's a "no wave" album I heard when I was 25. So I'm probably gonna remember it forever.

43 -- Nick Cave and The Bad Seeds -- Your Funeral... My Trial
This has to be my favorite version of Nick Cave. A no-nonsense tracklist that highlights both his penmanship and ability to create a dark atmosphere. 

42 -- Violent Femmes -- Violent Femmes
"Idle hands are the devil's workshop." I guess there's no shame in being bored or lonesome. It's just frustrating. Sometimes frustration is societal. Sometimes it's sexual. Idleness seems purposeful if you can write clever songs about it. Otherwise: Maybe just pick up a hobby or something.

41 -- Bruce Springsteen -- Born in the U.S.A.
You wanna talk about how much I've always hated the 80s? My oldest brother had a copy of this CD when I was a kid, but I never listened to it. I already knew plenty of the singles from the radio, and I didn't really like them. All those obnoxious 80s synthesizers. Give me a break. I'd rather listen to Coldplay.


#40-21

40 -- Brian Eno with Daniel Lanois & Roger Eno -- Apollo: Atmospheres and Soundtracks
This is definitely the Brian Eno ambient album I revisit the most. This doesn't sound dated at all. Love the guitars on here. The moon is the only acceptable lighting when listening, if any light at all.

39 -- This Heat -- Deceit
There's part of me that wants to classify this album as "end of the world good." Something where you feel so exhausted after a full listen, that you don't know what to with your life afterwards. But to be fair, when the band made this, they truly believed the world was doomed to soon end under worldwide nuclear warfare. This didn't happen, but that anxiety lives on forever.

38 -- Minutemen -- Double Nickels on the Dime
Stole this from a tweet: "You're stuck in an elevator with three adult men, but you feel completely safe. Name the three adult men." You already know...

37 -- Tom Waits -- Swordfishtrombones
There's a 1983 interview with Tom where says he wanted to experiment with instruments that could sound "nightmarish or dreamlike." He adds: "Frank is the central protagonist. The guy came to me in a dream and he spoke to me of many things." Oddly enough, this explains a lot.

36 -- The Police -- Synchronicity
My dad got me this CD for Christmas when I was 15. I didn't get it AT ALL. It made more sense when I reached the same age as the artists who were making this album. I find both the music itself and the process by which it came about to be hilarious and depressing.

35 -- The Jesus and Mary Chain -- Psychocandy
I've never been in love before. I spent my young adult life diving headfirst into the cliched social structures of Mormonism. I don't think the values of love and pain were ever served to me as necessarily direct as listening to Psychocandy on a miserable, hot afternoon.

34 -- Elvis Costello & The Attractions -- Get Happy!!
I'll always think it's cool that Elvis made an album in 1980 that tries to sound like R&B music from 1960. It's normal these days for artists to try to capture the sound of an older time. But Elvis was aesthetically obsessed with the bit. He delivers one punchy song after another. A lyrical masterclass, as always. I'd love to hear this on an old record player.

33 -- De La Soul -- 3 Feet High and Rising
This album sounds like what the album cover looks like. Sticking the landing on a distinguishable sound like this on an 80s hip-hop album is a futuristic feat in its own right. And the sampling chops are just off the charts. This is a burst of sunshine. Something the rap world never knew it needed.

32 -- Black Flag -- Damaged
These next few albums are all from SST records. As if that's necessary knowledge... This is a hardcore punk album full of songs about depression, and I'm all ears. I want that downward spiral. I want that ferocity. I want that DIY sound. Darkness is cheap, and I like it.

31 -- Husker Du -- Zen Arcade
A standout album in the Husker Du story. Starting their career as a modest hardcore band and ending as power pop giants, this album in the middle was basically the post-punk version of Tommy. It's a journey for sure. Covers a lot of musical and conceptual ground. I'd say just as emotionally-gripping as it is fun.

30 -- Dinosaur Jr. -- You're Living All Over Me
I always have to call Dinosaur Jr. one of my personal favorite bands of all time. I very much remember my first time listening to them. The sound in itself had an impact on how I think of indie rock. As for this album? You can make the case for this being the most groundbreaking album on this whole list. Each bleeding guitar tone is like a new discovery. And J just shreds over everything. 

29 -- Sonic Youth -- Sister
It's somehow understated that this album is really freaking artsy. All the band's trademarks come together here, in their original lo-fi form. All the angsty energy. The casual "Lou Reed in sunglasses" swagger. The psychedelic dirges. But have you ever tried playing these songs on guitar? It's a pain in the ass. 

28 -- Joy Division -- Closer
It's hard enough to describe this album's sound to those who haven't heard. All the harder to describe it to the people who only know that 1 Joy Division song. It's somewhat of a primitive-sounding goth album. But you can't deny the back half is just gushing with melancholic bile. 

27 -- New Order -- Power, Corruption & Lies
I hear the opening notes, and I'm sold. I suppose the rest of the album delves into darker, electronic territory. But it's stuff that's just always gonna sound cool. Hard pressed to find a band across any genre with more heart than New Order.

26 -- Pixies -- Surfer Rosa
This is the only Steve Albini production on this list. No Big Black albums. But I have to admit, I'm a Pixies guy. This is their only album where they don't sound like some big band. Just a feral sound behind all these sinister little rock songs. Some surprises in store for the "Where Is My Mind?" flock.

25 -- Beastie Boys -- Paul's Boutique
This album is like a bowl of Fruity Pebbles. Because there's a song where they rap about Fred Flintstone. And it sounds colorful. And it all feels like a milky sugar rush. God, this analogy sucks... Anyways. "Looking Down the Barrel of a Gun" is the dopest beat of all time. 

24 -- Public Enemy -- It Takes a Nation of Millions to Hold Us Back
It's always interesting to me when someone likes rap, and they try to make a case for the genre having no associated politics. It's an interesting take, because that shit was never true. 

23 -- Michael Jackson -- Thriller
Elsewhere on the internet, I have a much more objective-minded list of the best albums of the 80s. Over there, this is #5. But Thriller works as a turning point on this list. Everything higher than this has been solidified in my rotation for years. Albums that don't make me think of the 80s, but just songs I keep coming back to naturally. I still feel like a visitor or an outsider when I listen to Thriller. Like showing up awkwardly to an 80s party with a Rubik's Cube t-shirt like: "Hey folks. I'm not much of an 80s guy, but I heard Michael Jackson was here, and he's pretty cool."

22 -- Kate Bush -- Hounds of Love
Hoo, yeah, let's talk about Kate Bush. Building an identity out of the weird and whimsical, she suddenly sounded like a commanding force on a big fat art-pop album that people would try to emulate for years to follow. Probably the only album on here where the synth sounds have never bothered me. 

21 -- Bruce Springsteen -- The River
I've wasted too much of my post-college years aimlessly driving around. But The River? I believe everyone should reserve a summer evening to drive 90 minutes down a country highway as The River blasts through the car speakers. It's the only worthy listening experience.


#20-1

20 -- R.E.M. -- Reckoning
My senior year of high school, I got an 80s R.E.M. greatest hits comp (to accompany my 90s R.E.M. greatest hits comp). There were a few songs from Reckoning on there, for sure. But I think this whole album perfectly defines their 80s sound.

19 -- The Replacements -- Pleased to Meet Me
Spoiler: Somebody has a favorite band. I actually own a vinyl copy of this one. "Can't Hardly Wait" is a contender for my favorite song of all time. As for the rest of the album, this is like 2022 Steph. The established best in the game making their craft look easy.

18 -- Leonard Cohen -- I'm Your Man
There will always be a worthy debate as to if the synthesizers on this album sound good at all. To me, it's the fact that they sound so... um, "off"... that makes this album live in its own time outside this decade. Once I hear that opening saxophone on "Ain't No Cure for Love," I'm sucked in. See The Future for more.

17 -- XTC -- Skylarking
Some of this album contains the most futuristic studio trickery I've ever heard. But I'm mostly captured by the euphoric energy of these songs. Straight out the gate. The snarkiest band in new wave figured out how to do the Sgt. Pepper thing. A total standout among all the populist 80s trends.

16 -- Daniel Johnston -- Hi, How Are You
I still remember my first time listening to Daniel Johnston. I couldn't stop after 1 song. I ended up spending the whole day learning all I could about this man and his music. I recall a night hike with friends later that week, and I just looked up at the Milky Way thinking: "There's a heaven and there's a star for you."

15 -- Galaxie 500 -- On Fire
Timing is everything when it comes to what albums stick around with you. I first heard this album as a Pitchfork fanatic in the early 2010s. Most of the music I was eating up at this time was perhaps just glorified indie pop bands soaking trite songs in a pool of reverb. Galaxie 500 sounded heavenly to me. As though they were naturally looking down at these kids, from heaven. 

14 -- Prince -- Sign o' the Times
The last time I listened to this album, there was a lot going on. I was driving around town on a summer night. I saw an idling ambulance pulled over by a mountainside, a topless chick, and some cops trying to grab hold of a teenager having a mental breakdown. For an album that mostly just talks about love and sex, I think it says a lot about life and death.

13 -- Pixies -- Doolittle
One of the most impactful "albums" I ever had was a Pixies greatest hits comp that I ripped from a buddy of mine in high school. I was 17, I was into alt-rock, and their sound hit me immediately. By the time I got around to hearing Doolittle, it felt as though I'd already heard all these songs. 

12 -- Bruce Springsteen -- Nebraska
While this is unmistakably a folk album, I don't compartmentalize it with the rest of my favorite folk music. These songs don't sound good on playlists. I just like to press play and enter the fever dream. I like to imagine what historic era each song takes place in. Maybe one's from the Great Depression, maybe the next is from 1982. To Bruce, I don't think there was any difference.

11 -- U2 -- The Joshua Tree
It's crazy to imagine a world before this album existed. It's like, just a few years before I was born, human beings heard this for the first time, and it was universally realized: "This is what music was supposed to sound like." 

10 -- Tom Waits -- Rain Dogs
Tom Waits is a character who kinda just lives in your heart forever. 

9 -- The Cure -- Disintegration
I earlier used the term "end of the world good." That's what this is. 

8 -- Sonic Youth -- Daydream Nation
I'll expound a bit on the "end of the world good" thing. Disintegration is a goth-kid's descent into the muck, featuring broken mirrors and broken relationships. Daydream Nation is a mountain. You try to accelerate to the top, but get lost wandering into the fog toward all these death-defying ledges. Sick guitars included. 

7 -- R.E.M. -- Murmur
I bought this in the summer when I was 17 years old. This 1983 album sounded fresh in 2008, and it still sounds fresh in 2025. Just a 4-piece alt-rock band who wanted each instrument recorded with care. My favorite drum fills and basslines. Songs I've learned on guitar. And to this day, I can't comprehend anything Michael Stipe sings on here. But that's all part of the magic.

6 -- The Replacements -- Tim
I have moments when I listen to The Replacements where I'm convinced that this is the greatest band of all time. Perhaps the band that reminds me the most of myself. Tim is the album with all the hits. The band in peak form. Paul Westerberg couldn't stop writing anthemic tunes packed with perfect one-liners. Funny how this album has attained classic status, despite all the band's immediate attempts to sabotage their major label career. SNL and MTV are for posers anyways. 

5 -- The Replacements -- Let It Be
This is one of those albums I accidentally listen to like 20 times a year. Never thought I'd be so drawn to an album with song titles like "Tommy Gets His Tonsils Out" and "Gary's Got a Boner" on it. This was released on a short-lived local independent label, and it definitely sounds like it. This band that very much began as a punk outfit gave us a pinch of their sensitive side, and it cuts all the deeper. This album is the band's definitive personality. Just a drunk mess from the garage party down the street with a depression that can be mistaken for charm. 

4 -- Paul Simon -- Graceland
This should probably be #1. This is the only album on the entire list that has memories tied to the romantic months surrounding my high school graduation. Respectively, Graceland doesn't get a lot of spins in autumn or winter. But it perfectly captures the strong, warm light after a period of heartbreak. I'm already planning my musical expedition through Africa for when I inevitably reach my midlife crisis.

3 -- The Smiths -- The Queen Is Dead
This album didn't click with me until I started taking antipsychotics a few years back. And it's just such an obvious keeper. It works as either emotional heavy lifting or casual background music. It's the closest indie ever got to Rumours. An endlessly quotable, heart-piercing, bite-sized greatest hits.  

2 -- Prince -- Purple Rain
The path to being a Prince fan isn't as easy as one might think. He has a bunch of hits; they're easy to like. That's more of a distraction than a lure, though. All 80s hits sound exactly the same when they're lumped together. You gotta wait until sunset. Turn on Purple Rain. Play it loud. Listen to the whole thing. No stops. This is the electrified 80s people tried to sell me. 

1 -- Talking Heads -- Remain in Light
So aside from the fact that I consider this to be one of the greatest albums of all time, I do wish I had better memories attached to it. These days, I play it to get my mind blown (with 100% success rate). But I bought this my first week of junior college. I looked forward to a forthcoming few years as a collegiate student of the arts, and I'd be surrounded by peers who'd get me into a more cultured world than whatever I could find online. This never happened. But I bought a Talking Heads CD. 

Thursday, August 28, 2025

horseshit

Do you know what the world needs? We need more horseshit.
I look around, and I don't see any horseshit anywhere. 
I would say "not anymore," but it's hard to say if we ever had enough horseshit in the first place.
I demand I be surrounded by total and utter horseshit.
I know a couple people who talk about horseshit, but none of them ever actually give it to me.
There's hardly any horseshit out there, if any at all.
I want to see more horseshit.
Sometimes I look at a thing, and I wish it had more horseshit. 
I look around everywhere, and I don't see any horseshit at all.
I want more horseshit.
There is no person or image I come across that comes off as horseshit.
And I mean real, unmistakable horseshit.
We need more horseshit.

Sunday, July 27, 2025

Leaving Logan

It finally occurred to me this morning that I can't blog about anything with deep personal value. I've done it a bunch of times before, but it's rarely been a fulfilling practice. I've lately attempted writing a blogpost about leaving Logan, but always eventually get caught up in too many directionless tangents about my actual personal life and emotions and stuff. There will be time enough for me to spill my guts in other communicative formats. For now, I'll just try to keep things readable. 

A selfie before leaving Logan for summer 2016.

I've lived in Logan for 10.75 of the last 13 years. There were 4 different times where I left and then came back. Usually I left because I was under the impression that I had to leave. This time I'm leaving because I want to. 

I wasn't immediately in love with Logan, but eventually fell into it. Perhaps to the point where this area became the only part of my life I was comfortable with.
I know this area very well. It's like a cross between the places I came to know in Idaho when I was 18. It's got hiking, like Stanley. It has the same population as Twin Falls. And it's just 20 minutes below the Idaho border. The familiarity came with the package. And that familiarity is the only thing that's kept me around as I've gotten older. 

I knew my housing contract would be up by the end of July. I started my usual process of looking at different types of apartments available in my favorite neighborhoods. Feeling disappointed with the uninspiring facts of life after 5 minutes of this, I opened a new tab to look at old photos. 
I was thinking about July 2008, when I went on a backpacking trip in Idaho's Sawtooth mountains with a few friends. I was the only one of this crew who was still in high school, and I felt young and shy throughout the trip. But they never made me feel awkward. I have vague memories of it, but it was a cool time. I think about those guys a lot. But I realized that I don't know where these people are anymore. We've all gone in very different directions over the years. They dropped social media a long time ago. For all I know, those guys don't even hike anymore. But I'm still there.

Aside from being a cool-looking place, Logan has become somewhat of a nostalgia zone for my USU years. Maybe I'll move back here if I have a lot of money and want to buy a house on the island. But I'm finally tired of the familiarity. I would like to be somewhere else and do different things. And I intend to close out the year somewhere unfamiliar.
It's funny, because this time next week, I'll be living with my parents and still working my current job from their basement. Not exactly adventure time. But I'm breaking up with the geographical girlfriend I've had an on-and-off relationship with for years. I'm kinda just developing a better idea of what things I want. Like, as a person; in life. 

Believe it or not, this blogpost has only gone pinky-toe-deep into anything heavy I've felt this weekend. I could say a lot about music memories I have associated with Logan. Or get reminiscent about fun times, now long past. I don't want to give away too much about my past. But I've felt some heavy things this weekend. And I'm more excited than sad about this.

Saturday, June 14, 2025

The Sensitive, The Spiritual & Brian Wilson

One thing I've struggled with regarding social media usage over the years is watching myself and other people feel the need to announce their commentary on a current event, under the presumption that people have been waiting for you to break your silence and finally share your thoughts on the topic via the Internet. 
Brian Wilson passed away 3 days ago. I wasn't going to spill any Internet ink on this. But I've brought this up in conversation with multiple people. And apparently people in my actual life don't know anything about Brian Wilson.
As opposed to giving you a bunch of facts you can find on Wikipedia, I wanted to write this in his honor for very personal reasons. I know his work has been highly influential to tons of artists over the last 60+ years. But forget those people. Brian Wilson's work has been influential to me.

THE SENSITIVE, THE SPIRITUAL & BRIAN WILSON

I have my own Bandcamp page with a bunch of my songs scattered around there, with only a few I actually like. One of those good ones is a Beach Boys ripoff called "Shoulda Tried To Hold Your Hand." I've often wondered if I could make an entire album centered around that sound. Something The Beach Boys would have recorded in '65 or '66. 
On summer nights, my mind tends to reside in the thematic spirit of this music. Somewhere between dreaming of a girl you have a boyish crush on, or looking up at the skies at God in a state of yearning for purpose in your confounding life. Something about being outside in the night air after a sunny day. A lot of existential pondering and burning emotion.
At this point in my life, I often feel like I failed at adolescence and young adulthood. Feeling like I walked away from it unfinished. Like I didn't have enough fun. I didn't make enough mistakes. I didn't love enough. I didn't explore enough. I didn't find the stable, mature sense of self that was supposed to naturally come about. And now I'm supposed to commit to stuff as if the world assumes I actually live life with any emotional fulfillment whatsoever. At age 34, I'm still living in lyrics sheet for Pet Sounds

Let's go over some songs. Perhaps Pet Sounds songs like "That's Not Me" and "I Just Wasn't Made for These Times" are the best examples of how that album works as a spirit guide for me. Honest to God, I was gonna insert an italicized section here with the most relatable lyrics from "I Just Wasn't Made for These Times," and realized I was just sharing the whole song.
I guess I'll give a brief shoutout to Brian's rather nonsensical opus Brian Wilson Presents Smile, which is easily my 2nd most-listened-to work of his. But let's get back to early Beach Boys, as that's more of an era for personal inspiration.
Ever since I was a teenager, I've been drawn to The Beach Boys' 1963 ballad "In My Room." I never had my own bedroom until I was 16, and I suddenly connected with the list of things that happen in that song: Dreaming, scheming, lying awake, praying, crying, sighing, laughing, telling my secrets, locking out all my worries and fears. I wrote a paper about this song in junior college and my teacher pulled me aside to tell me it was the best paper he read all semester.
The band's early work is full of sentimental melodies to the ladies, which is perhaps best represented on Side B of their 1965 album The Beach Boys Today! My personal favorite song here is "Please Let Me Wonder" and has Brian on lead vocal. Perhaps it's lame for a a guy over 30 (or even over 20) to be so drawn to a song that definitely sounds like a diary entry of a teenage boy with a dreamlike crush. But it's the "wondering" that always strikes me with this era of Brian's music. He questions life itself, which means he also must question love. If I had to work with Mike Love, I'd be "questioning love" too.
Sorry, had to. 

Anyways... Growing up in California, it was normal for my parents to play their cassette tape of The Greatest Hits -- Volume 1: 20 Good Vibrations on a summer drive to a NorCal beach. So my earliest Beach Boys memories probably begin at age 4. And naturally, I associate this band with going to the beach. But I've left all those childhood memories washed up in the sand. It's the coming-of-age yearning that lives on within me.
I've long felt the emotional weight of Brian Wilson's music in my own soul. I associate it with self-discovery and romance, both of which seem like impossibilities in my life. I also associate it with youth, which is half my life ago at this point. At some point, boys have to grow up. I sometimes wonder how things will be "when I grow up to be a man," but then I realize I've already been living on the other side of that. And now, the "boy" who wrote that song isn't alive anymore.
If you came into this blogpost not knowing anything about Brain Wilson, I'm sure none of this helped out at all. I'll always see him as a spiritual figure among my favorite songwriters. He drew a line between how I personally view modern art and God. I can only assume he was good man in real life. But in the music world, he was the best damn boy who ever lived.

Saturday, May 31, 2025

Summer Time

I don't really have anything to say about summer. 
I do have a lot of thoughts about summer. 
So like most people, I'm using the internet as an outlet for producing words without actually saying anything.


Summer Time
Summer memories aren't always good. I've been alive for 34 years. Only a few summers stick out to me. And they were all a pretty darn long time ago, at this point. 2008, 2009, 2013, 2015. Everything outside that was something less than memorable. 
But yeah, I remember friends and feelings and music and experiences from all these summers. They're all pretty darn different from each other. There's a buddy of mine from summer 2013 whom I've spent a lot of time with recently. He once claimed that old summer to be his "peak" era as a college kid in his 20s. I have to bring this up, because I was there, and I liked it too. On the downlow: I prefer spring over summer. And it's no coincidence that I'm writing this blogpost on the last day of May, as I feel like spring has officially turned into summer. I had a good spring. So I'm really banking on the change of the season not screwing things up.

Summer 2013 was like a group of friends trying to get through a checklist of all the cliché American summer experiences you're supposed to have while you're still young. It was also really weird. For me.
It's been a remarkable point of discussion with my therapist. Even 8 years after graduating college, I still think of my life in terms of "semesters." I remember each year, and each season, and I tend to divide everything up that way. In college, each semester felt like I was a totally different person. So it's like... I've always considered 2013 to be a great year. Fond memories of all 3 semesters. But my memories of it all come with a thick haze. Summer 2013 seemed to have nothing to do with my life in either spring or fall of that year. But I mean, hey. At least it was fun.

I've only recently discovered an important tie-in as to why college years were so divisive and my post-college years have been sucky: The Fragmented Self. I'll try not to get too deep into this. But I've gone my entire adult life without really having an essence of self that seems connected to a "through line" of character development as life goes on.
Perhaps that's why those other summers stick out to me. They seemed to be developmental or spiritual times in my life, in a rather pivotal way. I don't really think of summer 2015 as a time full of having a bunch of fun with a bunch of friends. But I felt like I was learning stuff. Like, actual edification. I'd dare say that summer kicked off a "though line" within myself. This would eventually fade out when college graduation came around. I once was lost, but now I'm found--Oops. Lost again.

There's been a lot of days recently that remind me of summer 2008. I have no idea why. That was a summer full of having a bunch of fun with a bunch of friends. And I was still a teenager. This is half my life ago. Holy crap.
I absolutely loved being in a local production of The Laramie Project. Me and some dudes went on a backpacking trip in the Sawtooths. I have vivid memories of the Jerome County Fair, for whatever reason. There's a video of me somewhere dancing like a moron in a church parking lot to "Rock Lobster." I was getting grounded a lot for always coming home after midnight. None of these things have anything to do with my current life. But those were some good times, and I don't mind those feelings resurfacing.

Anyways. I'll always consider ages 17-18 as a "through line" in my life. Summer 2009 after my senior year of high school is a time I actually put too high on a pedestal. Not that I think of this time (or any other time of my life) as "perfect." But a lot of internally important stuff ended when that summer ended. Not just my childhood, but this streak of development I didn't know how to hold onto when my life went through a seemingly minor change. This has become a common reoccurrence throughout my adult life. How I define myself has since been chopped into different versions of myself for each semester of my life. Which brings us to summer 2025.

To reference the intro to this blogpost: I don't have much to say, but there's a lot of important thoughts at hand. By all means, I spent much of this blogpost talking about the past. But I've been making an active effort to not think about the past this much. There are plenty of good and bad things happening in my life right now that are starting to feel very real to me. Namely: Life itself. And that thing usually doesn't feel real to me. 
To say that "life is real" sounds super obvious. But to actually experience life, and for that to feel real... That's seemed increasingly impossible to me, the older I get. And yeah, I'm 34, and suddenly the realization that life is real has brought me some new senses of joy and pain. Summer has arrived, and there's a lot of intensely bittersweet summer feelings going on right now. It's enough to make a person execute some questionable actions.
I thought I'd write a blogpost about this season where the kids are out of school and the weather's so hot that you only want to be outside when the sun's down. It's a good time be young and a strange time to grow old. And it's literally where we are right now. Summer Time. 

Saturday, March 15, 2025

TPAB Turns 10

To Pimp a Butterfly. What kind of album title is that? Even after hearing the album a million times and getting the context of what that phrase means, it will never easily roll off the tongue. I don't want to write about what "to pimp a butterfly" means. Instead, I'm writing about what To Pimp a Butterfly means.


On March 6, 2015, Kendrick Lamar announced he would release an album on March 23. I was stoked. I had spent the previous couple years obsessed with good kid, m.A.A.d city. That 2012 album alone had me convinced that Kendrick was the greatest artist alive, of any genre. After getting acquainted with a couple funky promo singles, I wasn't sure what to expect on March 23. Surprise: Kendrick released it on March 15. 

The critical acclaim for this album immediately went through the roof. Kendrick himself did a handful of interviews and waited a few months before doing any live performances, but the TPAB love was everywhere. I was part of it. I was posting stuff about it on Facebook like an annoying fanboy. I wrote a small review for The Utah Statesman where I gave it a 10/10. I was onboard with all the music publications instantly declaring it the best album of the decade. A little hype never hurt anyone, right?

Here's the deal. I understand rap way more now than I did back then. Like, I honestly loved Kendrick, but I didn't love the genre for what it is. In hindsight, I can see fair reasons for people disliking TPAB. Maybe it's preachy. Maybe it's a flawed tracklist. Maybe it's too self-serious. Maybe it's too much of an "Obamacore" thing. And you don't want to hear a white college guy who reads Pitchfork sharing any of his opinions on rap. I was hyping this album like it was some culturally significant moment, and I didn't even know what I was talking about.
I mean. I was right. But, yeah.

People don't really talk about TPAB the way they used to. Perhaps there was a revived love for it at the end of the 2010s when publications were releasing their lists for the best albums of the decade. This ended up being the aggregate #1 by a longshot. But the discussion around TPAB doesn't feel the same at all. A lot of that has to do with the change of political climate over the years, and therefor cultural climate. 

There's kind of an unspoken embarrassment among The Millennial Left when it comes the Obama hype in 2008. It seemed to gradually fade with each year. It should be noted that TPAB was released in the thick of Black Lives Matter protests across the country. I definitely remember the couple of videos going around of protestors chanting the chorus of Kendrick's "Alright." The album was a soundtrack for a moment where liberalism suddenly didn't look as appealing as actual revolution. People who once endorsed Obama started questioning if he actually cared about systematic racism, but had yet to start questioning if that future could (and will) get worse. 

It seems like the narrative behind the TPAB love has become tied with the smug "Obamacore" mindset. The idea that we'll never have to worry about The American Right again if we just ignorantly dismiss them, as we're too high-minded for their childish ideals. But I personally don't think I can tie TPAB to that. It's political, for sure. But track-per-track, it's centered around Kendrick's own story. It's his experience with fame, identity, poverty, racism, the music industry, spirituality. The politics on TPAB is totally sensible. It's just that over time, it's harder to evaluate political music because it can never possibly be accurate enough. A valid take, but just a reminder: These songs are really freaking good.

I'll try not get into my old "this album is objectively great" ways. I used to tinker with that too much. I just think that even with super pessimistic hindsight, the overloaded praise for TPAB was justified. Taken at 100% face value, the album shares a personal story that could have existed any time in the last 100 years. Much of it gets pretty dark, and that's what gives the optimistic messages on the record more conviction. And I actually think I've underestimate the album's sonic qualities. This sounds amazing through your speakers in 2025. 

I think there's room for more optimism in music. I've never been an optimistic person for longer than 5 minutes. I don't think any of my moments of hope ever really came from a political figure. TPAB is just as much about black unity as it is about going through your own metamorphosis. The idea of metamorphosis comes off corny to me, but the actual possibility of it happening to me is inspiring. 
I love this album. A lot of people do. Maybe it doesn't need more acclaim. My deal is, I've often called this the best album of the last 10 years. And today is the last day I can say that.

Saturday, January 18, 2025

I'm really, really not from here

I still feel awkward when people ask me where I'm from. 

I was born in Central California. I lived there for 15 years and 8 months. 
My family then moved to Idaho. I lived there for 3 years and 8 months, before serving a mission.
On my mission, I told people I was from Idaho. Until I had a companion who had lived in Idaho his whole life. He told me I couldn't tell people I was from Idaho because I only lived there for 3 years and I've never been fishing before. He didn't seem very serious when he said this. But he was correct.


LOGAN
I've lived a collective 10 years of my adult life in Logan UT. I've kinda adopted the place as "where I'm from" over the years. But there's become a contradiction in recent years. The longer I live here, the less it feels like home. 
By the time I hit 30, I found myself surrounded by peers my age who have strong reasons to live here. Coming across more people who were born and raised here, and will likely never leave their family community. I'm even still in touch with a handful of college friends from wherever the heck else in America. Many have found a spouse here; some of whom have started their own family to focus on. I myself love the scenery here. I've explored every street in town and every trailhead up the canyon. I had a few cool semesters at Utah State University, where I graduated from 8 years ago. Am I just living here because the atmosphere makes me nostalgic for the flare of my young adulthood?
Ummm... Yes. 

CALIFORNIA v IDAHO
So it's hard to say I'm from Logan. And I can't say I'm from Idaho. Should I just say I'm from California? I would, except for the fact that I don't really remember it.
I should remember it though, right? That's where I developed as a human being for over 15 years. The orchards, the freeways, being "the token Mormon kid" in every class. All unrecognizable to me.
I usually think of my life as though it never began until I turned 17. My junior year at Jerome High School in Idaho. I switched from thinking of acting as something fun I was getting into, to treating it like an art of progress. I accumulated a lot of new friends. I started going through the pivotal adolescent emotional course. I was really molding as a person for a couple years there. Does this make Jerome ID the place where I truly feel like I'm at home?
The answer is apparently a hard "no." I've had a few stints of living in Jerome as an adult, and most of that time really sucked. I mentioned earlier that I've begun feeling like I'm just a long-term tourist stuck in Logan, surrounded by homebodies. Jerome is like that times 10. If you can imagine.
To me, for any reason, I never felt like my California upbringing was important. But I tell ya what. It's apparent that I definitely didn't grow up in any place like Jerome ID or Logan UT.

NOWHERE
I don't know where I'm from because no place feels like home to me. I'm living a life where I rarely feel any sense of security. Seems like I only feel at home when I'm listening to music or spending time outside. But come to think of it, this was once something liberating for me.
When I was 17, my favorite artist was Beck. A notably weird dude from LA who built a career on refusing to be defined by a genre. Looking back, I have mixed feelings about Beck's shtick, but I believe I totally needed an artist like him in my teenage life. His music never sounded like he was from California. Honestly, he doesn't sound like he's from any particular place at all. I don't think he represented counter-culture. I think he was laughing at the idea of "cultural significance" itself. There's a world of beautiful and terrible music out there. There are millions of people from California. I learned that being from California doesn't have to mean anything. 

It's kinda ironic that I never got into the hip Californian clichés until I moved to Idaho. Stuff like getting involved in theatre, siding with leftist political ideals and loving weird music. In fact, one of my favorite bands is this old 90s band from Stockton CA. I was a kid living in Stockton in the 90s. But I never knew this band existed until I was an Idaho teenager with internet connection.
The band is Pavement, and their album Crooked Rain, Crooked Rain was the soundtrack to my final days of high school. As senior, I could hardly recollect my California freshman year. But as far as I was concerned, this band's rather ugly sound was a close sonic approximation to what the streets of Stockton looked like. Their song "Lions (Linden)" is even titled after the farm-town high school I briefly attended.

As a teenager, it was as though developing my own aesthetic helped me grow my own community. Perhaps having a stronger sense of self and having a reliable community around you go hand-in-hand. And when no place feels like your home, you can always at least have your self. 
I wish that was the end of this blog post.

WHERE AM I FROM?
Where am I from?
I don't know. It's become harder for me to identify myself with any place--or any thing at all--as I've gotten older. I was always under the impression that this stuff would be less dramatic with age, and yet I find it more difficult than ever. As much as I glorify my teenage era of self-discovery, that progression was definitely cut short. An incomplete development, despite doing things that were supposed to make me my own man, like serving a mission and going to college and working fulltime jobs. 
The fact that my first 17 years feel irrelevant to my life might be a thing. Like maybe there's some inner-child stuff to work on there. Like maybe I was always a tight-wound sensitive boy and maybe that boy never went away and I hate that boy, but you didn't hear that from me.
Anyways... I live in Logan, but I'm really, really not from here. There's no real place or thing that makes me feel at home, or in touch with myself. Not for longer than a few minutes, anyways. At some point, I can't lean on my locale or my music taste or my past highlights to define who I am. I think I have to begin some things that are much harder to begin than anything I've ever begun before. 
So I'll tell you where I'm from when I get there.