It finally occurred to me this morning that I can't blog about anything with deep personal value. I've done it a bunch of times before, but it's rarely been a fulfilling practice. I've lately attempted writing a blogpost about leaving Logan, but always eventually get caught up in too many directionless tangents about my actual personal life and emotions and stuff. There will be time enough for me to spill my guts in other communicative formats. For now, I'll just try to keep things readable.
A selfie before leaving Logan for summer 2016.
I've lived in Logan for 10.75 of the last 13 years. There were 4 different times where I left and then came back. Usually I left because I was under the impression that I had to leave. This time I'm leaving because I want to.
I wasn't immediately in love with Logan, but eventually fell into it. Perhaps to the point where this area became the only part of my life I was comfortable with.
I know this area very well. It's like a cross between the places I came to know in Idaho when I was 18. It's got hiking, like Stanley. It has the same population as Twin Falls. And it's just 20 minutes below the Idaho border. The familiarity came with the package. And that familiarity is the only thing that's kept me around as I've gotten older.
I knew my housing contract would be up by the end of July. I started my usual process of looking at different types of apartments available in my favorite neighborhoods. Feeling disappointed with the uninspiring facts of life after 5 minutes of this, I opened a new tab to look at old photos.
I was thinking about July 2008, when I went on a backpacking trip in Idaho's Sawtooth mountains with a few friends. I was the only one of this crew who was still in high school, and I felt young and shy throughout the trip. But they never made me feel awkward. I have vague memories of it, but it was a cool time. I think about those guys a lot. But I realized that I don't know where these people are anymore. We've all gone in very different directions over the years. They dropped social media a long time ago. For all I know, those guys don't even hike anymore. But I'm still there.
Aside from being a cool-looking place, Logan has become somewhat of a nostalgia zone for my USU years. Maybe I'll move back here if I have a lot of money and want to buy a house on the island. But I'm finally tired of the familiarity. I would like to be somewhere else and do different things. And I intend to close out the year somewhere unfamiliar.
It's funny, because this time next week, I'll be living with my parents and still working my current job from their basement. Not exactly adventure time. But I'm breaking up with the geographical girlfriend I've had an on-and-off relationship with for years. I'm kinda just developing a better idea of what things I want. Like, as a person; in life.
Believe it or not, this blogpost has only gone pinky-toe-deep into anything heavy I've felt this weekend. I could say a lot about music memories I have associated with Logan. Or get reminiscent about fun times, now long past. I don't want to give away too much about my past. But I've felt some heavy things this weekend. And I'm more excited than sad about this.
