However, despite his undeniable title, it's an undeniably stupid title. You have to narrow down, like, 5 different genres to pinpoint where he rules in the music world. The guy hasn't made an album in 3 years. He hasn't had a top 40 hit in 6 years. Yet people pay to see his shows far more than some coffee shop act.
There's a certain elegance about John Mayer's personality, yet many music critics set aside his work as things of naught. Then again, unlike Jack Johnson or Jason Mraz, he always stands a chance in the eyes of the Grammy Academy (18 nominations). And his guitar skills have proven him worthy of praise; check out his live John Mayer Trio album and his performance on Frank Ocean's "White." Yet at age 38, he still walks a fine line between The Boys and The Men. This is made most obvious-- not by his music-- but by his album covers.
Here are John Mayer's full-length album covers... and what they really say about his career.
THE JACKET
Battle Studies
2009
When google searching John Mayer's album covers, this is the first one that come up. I'm not 100% why, but I think it's because he kinda looks like a stud on the cover.
-Let's start with the jacket. I want that jacket. That is one sexy jacket.
-That hair style will forever be considered attractive.
-His eyes look like he has sleeping problems. He probably burned a doobie at 2am that morning.
-The solid creme background is quite classy.
However, there is way too much writing on the side. Since the right side of the album cover represents simplicity, I was really hoping the only words I'd see here would be "JOHN MAYER BATTLE STUDIES." The album info is written in annoyingly large print.
And as much as I like his look here, the actual music on the album makes him look like "just another handsome guy making bland pop music." He looks like a MAN. But there's nothing bold here.
THE GET-UP
Paradise Valley
2013
I've heard a few tracks from this album. I can see what he tried to do. Especially considering the Western get-up on the cover. This album was supposed to be his breakaway from pop. The earthy, au naturale John Mayer. The desert plains-wandering prophet, showing roots from both the cowboys and the Natives of the land. The experienced songwriter who shares album covers with his pets.
Then why is he wearing faded jeans?
I'm pretty sure that dog is asking the same question in this picture. This isn't the Sublime dalmatian looking cool with the rest of the band. This dog is a confused companion, looking for attention from his owner. "John, will you please stop looking like a darn fool and play fetch with me?"
THE BEST ALBUM
Continuum
2006
This is easily his best album. I admit to a soft spot in my heart for the first half. (sigh) OK, I bought this when I was 16. Rolling Stone called it the 12th best album of 2006. I believed them. "Gravity" was a fairly original blues track for the time. The hook from "The Heart of Life" would later be ripped off by hipster songwriter genius Jens Lekman. "I Don't Trust Myself" is probably his best song. The album features collabs from Ben Harper and the guitarist of the then new band Maroon 5. This was a Grammy nominee for Album of the Year. Continuum doesn't suck (that is, until you get to his cover of Jimi Hendrix's "Bold as Love"-- holy fail, Batman). He tried to show off his soul skills, as well as his Clapton guitar impersonations.
By the way, yes, I am totally overplaying this. This album is actually pretty boring. Or is it just the album cover? Here we have a non-scripted words from a Circuit City customer in 2006:
Look at that word. It's the word "CONINUUM." I don't hear that word much. Oh, and below it says "MUSIC BY JOHN MAYER." I figured this was a John Mayer album, but I had no idea it would music by him! Maybe he's trying to make a statement against all the artists out there who are not making music. Hmmm... Well, nothing much else to look at here. The blue-white-gray color scheme is making me yawn. I wonder what other CDs they got here... ooh, look! The Curious George soundtrack! I could download that on my Zune!
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THE TATTOO
Heavier Things
2003
These days, John Mayer's entire left arm is covered in tattoos. But in 2003, he was still just a kid with some cutesy flowers on his right arm. This album cover was a big career move for him. The blue tint presumes that he was gonna show us his best melancholia, mature side. He looks like he's been breathing heavily. You can tell he's really serious about his music. And that tattoo on his left arm is some kind of sign of tough skin, something you see no sign of on his first album cover (which I will definitely be talking about later).
The lead single "Bigger Than My Body" is musically lite-weight, but the he's trying to make a statement of maturity he'll actually accomplish on his next album. The most popular song was surprisingly its third single, "Daughters," which actually got a Grammy nod for Song of the Year nearly 2 years after this album release! It was an unlikely audience shift for a pasty white guy who made the Billboard top 20 with songs about high school reunions and playing with girls' bodies. Maybe there's more to little John Mayer than meets the eye?
I'd look harder, but those 2000s cargo pants make me laugh too hard.
THE LUCKY BREAK
Room for Squares
2001
As is a common theme for John, the album title Room for Squares implies the idea of growing up. He always admits to having growing up to do. Perhaps it's his emphasis on this theme is why the common world listened to him. Perhaps his sultry voice is what launched him into popularity. Well, I tell you what-- it wasn't this album cover.
If you ever wanna feel good about yourself, remember this: This guy-- in the picture below-- this totally scrawny, vague, white geek of a boy-- went on to go out with these women:
-Jennifer Love Hewitt
-Jessica Simpson
-Minka Kelly
-Jennifer Aniston
-Taylor Swift
-Katy Perry
-Jennifer Lawrence (rumor!)
As the Battle Studies album cover indicate, John's fashion skills and physical attributes improved over time. I'm just saying, this is one friggin lucky kid sittin' down right here.
THE BASEMENT
Born and Raised
2012
This is where we feel bad for John Mayer. This album cover was the stake through the heart of his consistently successful career. The lead single "Shadow Days" was a sincere ode to his issues with anxiety, which unfortunately never sells records. He just got dumped by Taylor Swift, who wrote a breakup song about him that is possibly her best songwriting work [(ouch) "ouch" because that really hurt his ego and "ouch" because Taylor can't write a song better than that crap]. And to add on to the heartbreak, no songs on here gained any notable popularity. I think this has to do with the fact that this album cover is super terrible.
I think the Black Crowes released an album with this cover every 5 years. Or maybe he was imitating Grateful Dead live albums. John Mayer is probably a fan of both, but Southern jam rock is definitely not his strong suit. Within 3 years, he went from sexy songwriting crooner to the secret 15th member of The Allman Brothers. Nobody can legitimately admit to remembering this album. John himself tried to cover it up with Paradise Valley but 1 year later. What doesn't help is some British dude named Ed Sheeran who pulled through with his surprise hit "The A Team" and followed it up with one of the highest selling albums of this decade. Since this album, John Mayer has become old news. Maybe there's still hope for him. My sister still loves the guy.
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