Sunday, August 20, 2017

An Extremely Long Blogpost About The Killers

Everybody likes The Killers. At least to some extent. Because you can argue forever about whether they're "good" or not, but they always give you something to talk about. I applaud this.
Just as interesting is trying to classify them into a niche of music. I mean, duh, they're "alt-rock;" particularly "radio alt-rock." But all their releases are legitimately super different from each other. And look at their list of related artists on Spotify:
-The Strokes (yummy)
-The Kooks (ew)
-Franz Ferdinand (cool)
-Kaiser Chiefs ("Rubay Rubay Rubay Rubay!" no, god, make it stop)

I'm sure plenty of people reading this love all the bands listed above, and yet I can't help but think The Killers border between classic alt-rock genius and total garbage.
If it's any consolation, I don't think they're garbage. But they rarely come close to genius. In fact, I usually see them as "middle-of-the-road." But I remember when they were young.
I didn't even like them at first ("Somebody Told Me" was way too poppy for me), but eventually gave in to the full set of Hot Fuss singles and bought the album. My siblings later bought the rest of their discography. I watched them grow up fast and fade out slowly. Now they have 2 new singles that border between something kinda cool and something seriously stupid. As far as I see it, this means The Killers are back!
I am reminded of those magical moments as a teenage fan and those surprise musical moments that made me immediately slap my face. Let's look over their entire career for what its worth... The Killers' Legacy, if you will.

Hot Fuss (2004)


The first song I ever heard from here was "Somebody Told Me," an adrenaline-punched synthpop hit that was getting adult contemporary radio play next to Lifehouse and Matchbox Twenty. I hated this song. At least at age 14.
The song has aged pretty well over time. Listening to radio alt-rock these days, every hip new band would kill for a single like "Somebody Told Me." And somehow, The Killers themselves topped it. Follow-up single "Mr. Brightside" was not only a blessed hit from the alt-rock gods upon release, it has grown to be one of the most popular songs of the new Millennium. A song that can loved by fans of Yellowcard and The Smiths alike. Balancing act accomplished.
The Killers would soon ditch this balancing act entirely, but I digress. The whole first half of Hot Fuss was pretty golden. Anthemic choruses. Bold synth hooks. A sleek lead vocal that only somehwat sounded Julian Casablancas. These guys were as hot as Vegas itself. This lasted for about 5 tracks.
The second half of Hot Fuss is no disaster, but closer "Everything Will Be Alright" sucks major turds. It makes you wonder if the whole album's "nicotine/80s-synthpop/faux-post-punk" aesthetic was really worth the travel. Honestly, I think its sonic value hasn't aged well. But its songwriting is something a lot of radio alt-rock bands should attain to.
I believe everyone goes through at least one year of high school that can be soundtrack'd by Hot Fuss. Songs about Jenny, Andy, Natalie... I believe that these are real people. And their stories are real. For better or for worse, Brandon Flowers nailed the realistic immaturity of teenage emotions (ex: "JEALOUSY!"). And to top it off, they were the first I can recall who were making throwback 80s synth music. That stuff is freaking everywhere now! It's like this album became something influential by total happenstance.
A hot young band full of teenage-anthem radio staples.
I wonder how long that will last.

Sam's Town (2006)

Lots of critics say Sam's Town was the ultimate example of a sophomore slump. I am a critic.
However...however... it's not like it sucks or anything. It's a concept album about [insert whatever the hell this album is about here] that sounds insanely inspired by Bruce Springsteen, while still keeping some of the band's flashy Vegas roots. I'll never fully understand Sam's Town. But I think it's okay.
These guys are obviously not the same band they were 2 years ago. I can't necessarily say that's a bad thing. Hot young bands like The Killers are supposed to burn out quickly. But even more so than a sophomore slump, Sam's Town was a reinvention. This is just gonna be The Killers from now on. Lots of fans jumped ship from here, and yet, I had multiple friends travel all the way to Vegas just to see them perform this album live on its 10th anniversary. It's their "cult" album.
I'd say this is more well pieced together than Hot Fuss; my favorite track "Read My Mind" works as the album's centerpiece. The end doesn't suck. There are just plenty of WTF moments scattered about. The album-opening title track was a WTF moment upon first listen (it sounds like normal Killers by now). "Bones" has that weird horns section. The fact that there's an actual song titled "Bling (Confessions of a King)." The entirety of "Uncle Jonny." And, to me, the random mixbag of Springsteen phrases that is "This River Is Wild."
If any song stands as the king of Sam's Town and what it's all about, I'd pick "When You Were Young." It's got those brash post-punk guitars that held Hot Fuss together, but also has that "Born To Run" glockenspiel. It has that awkward alt-rock refrain, "He doesn't look a thing like Jesus," but it also talks about Americana songwriter stuff like the devil, mountains and hurricanes. It's cool.
Anyways, if there's any one problem I have with Sam's Town, it's that I can never tell when to take it seriously. Is this "ambitious" music? Why do the background singers sound like cavemen? When is Brandon Flowers trying to make a statement? When are these guys just joking?

Day & Age (2008)

After releasing a bunch of B-sides, karaoke covers and Christmas songs (um, yeah, more on that later), The Killers made things easier for all of us. Sam's Town left me confused as to how often I could take these guys seriously. Luckily, Day & Age cranked down that switch to 0%.
And that's a compliment.
See, Day & Age might be my favorite Killers album. It's simply these 10 fun songs that sound totally different from each other. There's 0 signs of their old pust-punk-influenced sound. There's only one Springsteen rip-off track. Brandon Flowers' persona on this album officially convinces me that he's someone I'd like to chill with; as opposed to any member of Oasis. Nah, I always feel like a cover of David Bowie's "Young Americans" is gonna pop up somwhere in the middle of this album.
And that's a compliment.
It's hard to pick a favorite track from here. The first 4 songs are solid. The 2 closing songs are some of the band's strongest. There are tiny sonic moments that kinda remind me of Bjork. And "This Is The World That We Live In"strikes me as the best song Tears For Fears never wrote!
And that's a compliment.
My least favorite track is "Neon Tiger," which Brandon Flowers has openly admitted was written for the sake of trying to sound like MGMT. Flowers doesn't smoke nearly enough marijuana to ever sound like MGMT, but I guess he gets points for trying, and the song is under 3 minutes.
But yeah, every song here is pretty stupid. I'm sure they were aware of that. "Are we human or are we dancer?" That's not a question! There's no reason to interpret these lyrics too deep; that being said for the whole album. Because nobody likes a party pooper. I don't know if Day & Age is their best, but it's their easiest to listen to.
So what album is their hardest to listen to?

Battle Born (2012)

So I was home from my mission for a couple months when "Runaways" was released. My music taste had already shifted far away from The Killers, but I wanted to try the new song anyway. I knew I wouldn't love it. But I didn't expect them to go back to the whole Springsteen thing again... and in full force.
It's sad, because "Runaways" might be the best track on the album. Every song on this album has the same predictable sound and is trying to do the same thing. All these songs could be put in any order and the album would have the same effect. It's literally a jumbled-up mess of 80s Jackson Browne covers.
I cannot tell a lie, it's not like the compositions on this album are okay. I can tell they were trying to step up some instrumental game. But it's hard to recognize. Because the worst part about this album is its production. The guitars, pianos, drums, vocals... nothing stands out. Which is kind of a shame. This album would be all the more enjoyable with a few extra days of studio mixing.
In The Killers' defense, this is their only album with poor production. Everything is good, it's okay or whatever. But Battle Born was a really bad sign. This wasn't pieced together like an actual album. The recordings sounded like demos. The songwriting was reminiscent of John Cougar Mellencamp. And coming 4 years since the band's last relevance, I always pretended like it never even happened.
The band themselves have kinda shunned this album from their history as well. But what will happen next? And what signs do we have that it's anything worth waiting for?

Sawdust + Brandon Flowers + The Whole 'Christmas' Thing

The Killers have a weird back catalog. I wouldn't say it's better or worse than their official releases, but any real fan makes their B-sides and such part of the mix.
Sawdust was a B-sides album released in 2007. It includes a song featuring Lou Reed that doesn't sound at all like The Killers or Lou Reed. Has some cool Hot Fuss leftovers. Most notably (and laughably), it includes covers of Dire Straits' "Romeo and Juliet" and Kenny Rogers' "Ruby, Don't Take Your Love to Town." It's a thing. Not a big a fan of their take on old school indie rock, but ya know, we all get credit for trying.
Brandon Flowers released two solo albums: Flamingo (2010) and The Desired Effect (2015). I've finally heard both of these, and I can say neither of them suck. Okay, The Desired Effect kinda suffers from the "jumbled-up mess" woes of Battle Born, but Flamingo stands toe-to-toe with any Killers release. Flowers presents himself as a whimsical Vegas-based songwriter, and his lyrics here are better than anything he's done as The Killers' front man. The music is lighter, but that's its strength. A couple good tracks on here. Nothing painfully bad. I kinda like that Brandon Flowers is his own thing.
The Killers have, like, a million Christmas songs. I think they've been doing it annually since 2005. I've only heard a few of them. But the point is, what the heck kind of band releases a self-written Christmas single every year? Not only that, but they can super weird sometimes. "Don't Shoot Me Santa" and "Happy Birthday Guadalupe" are some of the most ridiculous Christmas songs known to man. "Joseph, Better You Than Me" and "Great Big Sled" are corny power ballads; they even got Elton John on-board, for crying out loud! It's a fun shtick. I'm glad they do this.

Wonderful Wonderful (predictions)
So I've heard 2 new singles from the upcoming Killers album Wonderful Wonderful: "The Man" and "Run For Cover." Both songs capture The Killers' best and worst qualities. I actually consider both of these songs excellently produced. They sound up-to-date, they sound huge, they sound energetic. Lyrically, both of these songs are duds. Hearing "The Man" as a lead single worried me as much as it intrigued me. Because the whole song is a big fat joke. I kinda wish it had the same magical touch as "Human" or "Mr. Brightside," but considering "Run For Cover" sounds nothing like it, I really really want to ehar this album. And I want to hear it now. I don't think it'll be great (or even good), but I wanna find out.
If there's any sign of hope, I enjoy the "Shot At The Night" single from their greatest hits comp a couple years back. Produced by M83's Anthony Gonzalez, it sounds great, and I actually prefer this track to all of M83's last album. Between this and the new singles, we can only hope the next Killers album will be some kinda well-produced mixbag. To me, I think that's all they have left.

My 10 Favorite Killers Songs
10 Believe Me Natalie
9 Joy Ride
8 Spaceman
7 This Is The World That We Live In
6 Somebody Told Me
5 Smile Like You Mean It
4 When You Were Young
3 All These Things That I've Done
2 Read My Mind
1 Mr. Brightside




Sunday, July 30, 2017

The Sounds Of Taco Bell



Nobody eats at Taco Bell more than I do. At least I hope not.

On average, I give business to the Taco Bell in Twin Falls, ID once every 10 days. This is not very healthy, but it is very cheap. I can suffice my hunger for under $4! But you must understand that although eating at Taco Bell may not be a financial sacrifice, you sacrifice many other things:
Your dignity.
Your functioning arteries.
Your taste in music.

That's right. Not only do I always order the same things at Taco Bell, but I hear the same songs. I don't get out much, but between the Twin Falls and Jerome Taco Bells, I'm convinced that the Taco Bell experience is soundtrack'd by the same XM Radio station. I cannot imagine sinking my teeth into a Cheesy Bean & Rice Burrito without modern Adult Contemporary chart-topping music being played in the background.

These are the songs I've heard the most while eating at Taco Bell. These songs define the Taco Bell experience. The music acts as a quality-defining metaphor. Much like the fast food restaurant itself, this is something we always come back to, but never know why. It's always there; always there for you to consume. So here we go...


~ The Sounds Of Taco Bell ~

#10 (tie) Daya Hide Away + Shawn Mendes Treat You Better
You can walk into any single college kid's house in Utah and one of these songs will be bumpin' in the background. Both singers longing for morality at an obnoxiously desperate expense, it's hard to choose which track to stick with... much like the $1 Cravings Menu.
#9 Charlie Puth One Call Away
Charlie Puth is such a nice guy, right? He's just such a loving man. He's easily the voice you want to hear serenading you and your sweetheart over a couple Chalupa Supremes.
#8 Rachel Platten Fight Song
"Fight Song" basically became the campaign song for 2016 Democratic presidential nominee Hillary Clinton (in case you didn't know who she was). Does this mean her campaign was also sponsored by Taco Bell? Obviously not. That would have tripled her votes.
#7 Andy Grammer Good To Be Alive (Hallelujah)
As I hear his charming voice sing "Good to be alive right about now!" I look into my Nacho Cheese Doritos Locos Taco like "You took the words right out of my mouth, Andy..."
#6 Calum Scott Dancing On My Own [Robyn cover]
I'll never forget my first time hearing this song. Sitting alone in the Jerome Taco Bell late at night, I hear a barren piano topped by this melodramatically depressive British white guy's voice, then I hear the words... Oh gosh. This really is... it's a cover of Robyn's 2010 Euro-hit "Dancing On My Own!" I bet the people who have only heard the lame cover version of this song have probably only eaten at Taco Bell and never eaten real Mexican food too!
#5 Lukas Graham 7 Years
Ugh, this song drives me nuts. It's like the minor key stepchild of "Bad Day" by Daniel Powter. Oddly enough, I always pay close attention to its lyrics just in case I get in a conversational jam during a bad date night. (Ex: "Scott, why are we in a Taco Bell?" >> "Let's change the topic. You know that '7 Years' song by Lukas Graham? That guy smoked pot at age 11. Isn't that sad?")
#4 Maroon 5 Don't Wanna Know [ft. Kendrick Lamar]
Apparently Kendrick Lamar is in this song, but I've never noticed. It's like how it wasn't until my 10th purchase of a Loaded Potato Griller that I noticed there was bacon in there!
#3 Train Play That Song
The fall of Train has been hard for me to listen to. The singles get worse every year. I won't go into too much detail here, but I can only imagine this track sounding uncomfortably fitting as the alarm clock ringtone for folks who eat breakfast at Taco Bell every morning. The song plays as the smile on your beaming face orders a Sausage Flatbread Quesadilla... America wakes up for this.
#2 Ben Rector Brand New 
This song is the Taco Bell special. This is the real #1 on the list, because I hear it every time I walk into Taco Bell, guaranteed. I've heard it there so much, I assumed that this was some popular radio song. But no. It apparently has only reached #82 on the US Billboard chart. Ben Rector and The Bell, man. They got a thing going on.
#1 Ed Sheeran Castle On The Hill 
I could have easily given this top spot to Ed's super-hits "Thinking Out Loud" and "Shape Of You." But I just want to address to the world that there is a literally a part of this song where he says "Me and my friends have not thrown up in so long." And THAT, my friends, is the unnecessary additional imagery you already have in mind when you stare down your $5 Triple-Double Crunch Wrap Box. Oh goodness, what have I done? It's too late to turn back! You're in Taco Bell. You're in Ed Sheeran's world now.

Thursday, July 27, 2017

AND WE BACK


...And we back, and we back, and we back!
Hey kids! I decided to bring back the old blog. I guess it was only dead for 3 months, but 3 months is a long time in Internet-Land. Back in June, I tried making my own blog on WordPress. I wrote 1 self-serious post then already got bored with it. As good of a writer I may be, my zaniness cannot be locked up for too long. The king has returned!

Anyways, this post won't be incredibly zany. To keep public interest for at least another paragraph, here's a brief, stupid song list I cooked up today:
TOP 5 SONGS I'D LIKE FOR 'OUR FIRST DANCE' AT MY WEDDING
5 Sugarcube  Yo La Tengo
4 A Punch Up At A Wedding  Radiohead
3 (Your Love Keeps Lifting Me) Higher & Higher  Jackie Wilson
2 Real Love  Beach House
1 I Got You (At The End Of The Century)  Wilco

There. Are you happy? You better be. My wedding will be legit. Assuming it ever happens.
Meanwhile, let's analyze this photo below...


This photo was taken December 17, 2016. My last day in Logan, UT. I'm wearing a cap + gown ensemble that doesn't match. Holding my acoustic guitar, looking away from the camera as though I'm walking in a different direction. Shards of snow lightly frost Old Main Hill. This is an awkward photo symbolizing my awkward exit from Utah State University. I may have departed from Logan, but I have remained glued to this awkward feeling.
Since "awkward" is an over-generalized term, I'll be more direct about it: I graduated, but I never felt like I graduated.
I didn't want to pay the $40 to take part in the walking ceremony, so I stole a random cap + random gown I found in my parents' basement months before this photo was taken in preparation for my own graduation photo shoot. The semester ended, I took my last final and drove out of town like a thief in the freaking night.
In a way, I walked away from Logan empty-handed. I've never considered this until recently. In March, I stopped by my old apartment where my B.A. diploma had been mailed. It's currently still in its envelop and stashed amid my box of neckties.
I spent a lot of my last 7 months substitute teaching. Lately I've done a whole lot of nothin'. I'm in purgatory. I fantasize about living anywhere else. I was on a spree of listing cities I want to live in; Portland, Washington DC, Vancouver, SLC, whatever. Yet it wasn't until a couple days ago that I considered... perhaps I left Logan too soon.
I've had 0 desire to move back to Logan in the last 7 months. Until the other day. It's suddenly the only thing I want to do. Perhaps it's just my nature. Autumn is coming. I haven't spent an autumn anywhere other than Logan since 2011! I guess I could stay in Jerome. Or move to Seattle. But dang that small college town is calling my name. I am 100% it will be a different experience than it's ever been before. But that's actually kinda why I wanna do it.
There was a bunch of stuff I wanted to do, but never accomplished. There was also a bunch of stuff I didn't want to do, but actually accomplished that stuff for some reason. The good ol' days weren't always good. But I do love that damn town. I wouldn't mind doing new + different things while keeping the same ol' location.
You can say moving back is a step backwards for me, or I'll only be working somewhere that has nothing to do with my degree. That latter part is particularly true, but I'm okay with this. I kinda like the idea of saying "I'm from Logan, Utah." Not like I'm gonna live there the rest of my life, but I'm sure that sentence will come in handy some day.
What I'm leaving out of this story is my boring existential crisis that's been burning inside me on + off for the last 7 months. It's as though whether I saw myself continuing life as a professional stage manager or a local garbage man, I could neither get myself excited nor frightened about it. I've never watched Rick & Morty, but the 8-second video below is kinda the story of my life.

I owe a lot to Logan in strange ways. I put less than half my effort into music, writing, relationships... I got this piece of paper that declares me a societal success in the most arbitrary manner, but I didn't even finish my work. The universe has not even seen the left side of my brain.
Maybe I'll go back to school. Maybe I'll live in Logan for like 2 months and beg for any opportunity to get the heck outta there. For now, I feel overdue for a walk down Canyon Rd and Center St. That still hasn't gotten old.


Sunday, April 23, 2017

This Is The Last Blogpost For 'Can't Write If You Can't Relate'


It's time to say goodbye to Can't Write If You Can't Relate.

IT'S BEEN REAL
Play some cheesy music you can cry (or laugh) to in the background as you read this:

I've been writing randomly assorted garbage on this blog for just a little under 5 years. 
Established in August 2012, we've seen some good times. 
This will be the 146th preserved post on this blog. Sounds like a lot, yet as I type this, this blog has 202 unfinished (and some formerly published) drafts.
The title of this blog comes from the 1994 hit "Loser" by Beck. In any writing circumstance, this is true. Poet Allen Ginsberg has advised to "Say only what we know and imagine." Anybody who's ever written a college paper can tell you it's hard to write about stuff you don't care about. This blog has been a safe-haven for me to write about stuff I've always assumed nobody cares about but me. Thank you for reading.

WHY I'M ENDING IT
Part of me wanted to make a list of The Greatest Blog Posts From The 'Can't Write If You Can't Relate' Blog Of All Time! But I just need to let it die.
Why am I ending this blog page? Not only does it lack public interest, it ultimately lacks direction.
See, sometimes my blogging habits are healthy in a stress-relieving way. Sometimes they are entertaining and I hear a lot of great feedback from you guys. Sometimes the depth of my writing is unhealthy; whether it's T.M.I stories about mental health or overloaded commentary on trivial matters. All in all, it's been a good ride. I've picked up a surprisingly steady fan-base. Now it's time for something different. Something professional, or perhaps even nothing at all.

MY FUTURE
I've never really known if I'm a great writer or not. Lots of people have told me over the years-- mostly friends popping out of the woodwork to compliment some blog I wrote-- and yet I have a hard time believing it. I don't feel like I've been wasting my time. Although I do think I could cut it down, and definitely give my writing some more focus.
If I apply for media jobs, do they really care about my high school stories and slew of music lists? Actually, maybe. But I believe they need to live in separate worlds. If I want a media job in the music industry, showing employers this blog may leave them confused/unimpressed. Also, I think I have a strange talent for writing comical stories-- taking something totally unimportant and turning into a faux-big-deal. If I continue blogging, I'll definitely continue with that and even try to improve on it.
I'm considering starting a more professional-looking blog on a different website, perhaps linking in with the blogosphere seeking as many followers as possible. I think it's worth a shot considering how much success I've gained thus far with my relatively "guerrilla-blogger" approach.
I guess I just do this for fun. If this is true, I need to cut my time spent doing it. Or perhaps this is a real talent and I'm ready for the major leagues. I'm pretty divided. We shall see.

LEGACY, ETC.
Anyways... it's been real. I'll say it again: Thank you for reading. Nobody should have to give a crap about this stuff, but you people click on it anyway.
I'm pretty sure I'm the only one who considers this the end of an era. That's okay.
I was gonna put a bunch of nostalgic-sentiment-triggering pictures here, but that stuff takes too long. The time has come to kill the beast.
Can't Write If You Can't Relate.
R.I.P!

Friday, April 21, 2017

A Post About The Barenaked Ladies

I wrote a blog about The Barenaked Ladies, my former favorite band, over 2 years ago. I redeemed my childhood love for them and redeemed their reputation as a great band. BnL has popped up a lot in my life this past week, so I needed to reiterate a few things.
Today, I cut the heavy reading and give you some lists with my straight-forward opinions attached below. None of the lists include music from post-Steven Page BnL, because I don't care.
Enjoy.

BRIEF DISCOGRAPHY OVERVIEW 

  • Gordon 1992 "THE REALLY FREAKING GOOD ONE"
  • Maybe You Should Drive 1994  "THE SOPHOMORE SLUMP"
  • Born On A Pirate Ship 1996 "AT THEIR MOST POLARIZED"
  • Rock Spectacle 1996 "SECRETLY THE MOST ENTERTAINING LIVE BAND EVER"
  • Stunt 1998 "DECENT ALT-ROCK ALBUM"
  • Maroon 2000 "LET'S MAKE STEVE DO ALL THE WORK"
  • Everything To Everyone 2003 "HOLY BALLS THIS ALBUM SUCKS"
  • Barenaked For The Holidays 2004 "ACCIDENTALLY MAKING THE GREATEST HOLIDAY ALBUM OF ALL TIME"
  • Are Me 2006 "THE MATURE ONE"
  • Are Men 2007 "YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH YOU'RE GONNA MISS STEVE"

You may notice Are Me doesn't have any songs on my "BEST SONGS" list below, nor does it have any on the "WORST SONGS" list further below. A pretty safe album for newcomer fans. I believe the second quarter of Born On A Pirate Ship is pure gold, but it takes a true fan to survive the rest. Maybe You Should Drive really isn't that bad, it just comes off as a run-of-the-mill sequel to the lovable Canadian folk music singalong behemoth that was Gordon.
________________________________________________________________________________

THE 25 BEST BARENAKED LADIES SONGS

25 Helicopters 
24 Jane
23 Enid
22 Pinch Me
21 Off The Hook
20 War On Drugs 
19 Hello City
18 Straw Hat And Old Dirty Hank
17 Light Up My Room
16 Shoe Box
15 Testing 1, 2, 3
14 The Flag
13 Break Your Heart
12 Lovers In A Dangerous Time
11 Falling For The First Time
10 When I Fall
9 Wrap Your Arms Around Me
8 The Old Apartment
7 God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen/We Three Kings (w/ Sarah McLachlan) 
6 Serendipity
5 Call And Answer
4 What A Good Boy
3 Too Little Too Late
2 If I Had $1,000,000
1 Brian Wilson

BnL always had the ability to tell an attention-grabbing story with plenty of instrumental variation. Musically, they never stuck with one sound, which is a compliment coming from an arrogant hipster like myself. All the songs listed above are great and have stood the test of time, in my book.
________________________________________________________________________________

THE 10 WORST BARENAKED LADIES SONGS

10 These Apples
9 Celebrity
8 Stomach v. Heart
7 Never Is Enough
6 (4-way tie) Everything To Everyone Tracks 10-13
5 Sell, Sell, Sell
4 Spider In My Room
3 Shopping (w/ The Blue Man Group)
2 What A Letdown
1 Another Postcard

"Another Postcard" was the freaking lead single for Everything To Everyone. It is also the closing credits song for the terrible 2016 animated film "Space Chimps." A sadly fitting stab to the throat representing its legacy. They didn't play it when we saw them live in 2006. I'm sure they want to forget this track as much as their fans do.
As for the rest of this list, I've never liked "Shopping." Tracks 10-13 of Eveything To Everyone is basically just a string of forgettable filler. I'm sure but a few of you have heard "Spider In My Room," and let me tell you... it's... about the most "WTF" song the band ever decided to record. "These Apples" has some cool instrumental performance chops, but for what purpose?
Anyways... long live these guys.



Saturday, April 15, 2017

The Art Of The Back Catalog


Kendrick Lamar has made some of the most memorable music of the modern era, particular his work on his gargantuan good kid, m.A.A.d city and To Pimp A Butterfly albums. While young music junkies of the future may only cite these two albums as the shelf-keepers in his discography, those who lived to experience his career in action will remember his run of artistic persistence.
In other words: Kendrick Lamar now has one of the greatest back-catalogs of all time. 


Kendrick released his newest album DAMN a couple days ago, and it's been as hard to comprehend as it has been to avoid listening to it. It's a hot album, rich with life and personality. And yet, it's far from his best work. 
I only say this because his levels of ambition have been so high in the past. It's near impossible to beat the sprawling soundscapes of his past work. However, DAMN is a great album within its own right. If a rapper like Drake or even perhaps Vince Staples released something like this, we'd be considering it their magnum opus. For Kendrick, this is simply trying something new. And he aced the test-- as always-- in his own weird, human way.

Keep in mind that he's released 3 great albums within the last 25 months:
To Pimp A Butterfly (March 2015)
untitled unmastered (Jan 2016)
DAMN (April 2017)
Artists don't do this anymore. While Future and Young Thug may be releasing new music on a monthly basis, it's always a hit-or-miss experiment (I thought JEFFERY was really good, by the way). But my growing up in the Blogosphere era of music, I've become depressingly used to great artist releasing monumental albums on a 3-to-4-year basis like clockwork. Back in the day, the most popular and critically acclaimed artists were just supplying their fans like wildfire. Extreme examples of this include The Beatles, Led Zeppelin, Velvet Underground, Bob Dylan. Imagine an artist just dropping a classic every year. 
While I can't call DAMN a classic, it suffices anything Kendrick needed to solidify his spot as an all-time great; an artist with a consistently satisfying career.
I've talked about how good kid, m.A.A.d city (2012) and To Pimp A Butterfly (2015) are already acclaimed as two of this decade's best albums and conceptual masterpieces. But lest we forget, they came from the same guy who made solid albums like Section.80 (2011), untitled unmastered (2016), and DAMN (2017). The same freaking guy. Say what you want about ranking all these albums, but Kendrick Lamar is undeniably on a roll.

I know I'm a sucker for the Blogosphere list-making world and praising the same artists that have received non-coincidental acclaim from the internet media... but I'm here to do it again!
Kendrick now joins the league of other artists who have released a winning streak of unique albums. Radiohead, The Pixies, Pink Floyd, Talking Heads to name a few. Of course I can't be as boastful a Millennial spirit to call him as great as these big-name artists from 40+ years ago who changed music forever. But from these last few years, he is, to me, obviously the best we got right now. 
On that note, U2 is a guest artist on one of his new songs. 
U2's music has been (respectively) immortalized by many. And if not plated in gold, their discography is definitely at least appreciated by all. On the new Kendrick track "XXX," Bono's vocal performance is not used as this world-conquering machine for sappiness, as it is simply a firm voice delivering an important message. It kinda naturally comes off like a dose of early-80s U2. 
I don't see acts like Kendrick or U2 as "perfect." But they don't make mistakes.

So yeah. You ask people what their favorite Pink Floyd album is, and you're gonna get a few different answers. Some of them might even say Meddle or Atom Heart Mother. Same thing goes for hardcore Zeppelin fans or The Smiths faithful. Joni Mitchell, Pavement, Prince... acts like these prove that sometimes your 5th best album is just as important as your best. Because your full catalog can be proof of your range of artistic ability. With DAMN, Kendrick Lamar shows us that he has nothing to prove, but he's still a busy guy anyway. 

Everything I do is to embrace y'all
Everything I write is a damn eight ball
Everything I touch is a damn gold mine
Everything I say is from an angel
-Kendrick Lamar, "GOD"

This is the only I've ever felt an emotional sentiment from hearing a rapper brag about themselves. Because I don't think Kendrick is bragging here. He's talking about himself, just as much as he's talking about you and me. He is merely an example of our individual power, influence and creativity. And I find that rather touching.

Sunday, March 12, 2017

Every Album I Own From 2007

Some of my favorite albums are turning 10 this year! Looking back at 2007, there were some dominant albums and singles released that have stayed in my rotation ever since. Probably my favorite singular year in music thus far from the new Millennium.
In correlation, my own music taste changed throughout this year. I was always checking the Billboard Alternative Rock Chart and reading Rolling Stone album reviews to find recommendations on new music. I've gotten into much different genre paths over the years, but oddly enough, my favorites still come from the 2007 catalog. Over the last 10 years, I have apparently collected 15 freaking albums that were released in 2007!
Of course I don't own all the greats (no Panda Bear, Of Montreal, or The National here), but looking at this list, you get a sense for both my old music taste and the taste I've developed.
And of course I ranked them.


15 Queens of the Stone Age Era Vulgaris
Not that this is a bad album, but looking back at QOTSA's full discography, this was probably their dumbest album. I mean, dat album cover tho...









14 Bruce Springsteen Magic
"Your Own Worst Enemy," "Girls In Their Summer Clothes," and "Long Walk Home" have kinda stuck with me. But this is pretty standard "old-man's-Grammy-music"-era Bruce.









13 Against Me! New Wave
Looking back at Against Me!'s full discography, I can't believe this was their sole album I ripped from my buddy Wyatt. "Thrash Unreal" is still the band's most single-sounding single, respectively.









12 Wilco Sky Blue Sky
This might be Wilco's worst album, but it was the first Wilco album I ever owned. I'm glad they don't always stick with the Grateful Dead thing, but "Impossible Germany" still stands as one of my all-time favorite guitar solos.








11 Modest Mouse We Were Dead Before The Ship Even Sank
I've listened to every nook & cranny of early Modest Mouse demos while in my adult years. In the process, I've forgotten that they were actually one of my favorite "new" bands as a teenager. My little brother bought this album years after I was surfing "Dashboard" and "Missed The Boat" on my parent's desktop via YouTube.






10 White Stripes Icky Thump
Jack & Meg left us with their zaniest album, and I still like it! Jack tried to go for the zaniness shtick on his Lazaretto album, but I think a lot of us stopped caring about his vinyl-coated butt by then. My little brother bought this on CD years after I was discovering its album tracks via YouTube.







9 Iron & Wine The Shepherd's Dog
An album densely layered by beautiful instrumentation, full of summer night stories about being chased by dogs, stealing cars, smoking pot and getting lost at the county fair. The last we'd expect from the minimalist folk crooner.








8 Spoon Ga Ga Ga Ga Ga
This is my personal favorite Spoon album. Some dark-tinted space rock tracks ("The Ghost Of You Lingers, "Eddie's Ragga") as well as a personal side we usually don't hear from Brit ("You Got Yr Cherry Bomb," "Finer Feelings").







7 Jens Lekman Night Falls Over Kortedala
Never got into Jens until my adulthood, but I don't think I could have been emotional prepared for this until my adulthood. The peppy beats and classical samples on this album will always sound hip, but its his sincere, neurotic take on relationships that wins me over.







6 Bon Iver For Emma, Forever Ago
Guys, "Skinny Love" has 181 million plays on Spotify. Some guy recorded this song in a cabin in Medford WS over 10 years ago. This is legitimate zeitgeist. This album always reminds me of the smell of fresh mountain air infused with alcohol. What gives this album life is Justin Vernon's soulful voice and advanced English vocabulary.






5 Animal Collective Strawberry Jam
This album was recorded within the 1 year of Avey Tare's life when he was married. Listening closely to his lyrics, this is his ultimate "Oh shoot, I'm a married  responsible adult" anxiety attack. This is accompanied by the band's most glitchy instrumentals yet. It's like in an attempt to sound inhuman, they sound more human than ever.






4 Burial Untrue
This album was a brilliant idea. I have a hard to listening to "beats" albums, but Burial kicks this off with a thematic soundscape leaving me wanting to hear how it ends. There are faint voices throughout, and it's up to us to decode their plot as the music twists and turns. And to think... this is what "dubstep" was supposed to sound like...






3 MIA Kala
MIA will always be described as a "rapper." I think MIA's purpose as a rapper is not to give us word-heavy bars, but present her swagger in its natural state. She has an obvious influence from world music (name a country, she's got it covered), a sense for world economic issues, and Kala produces it all big enough for the whole world to hear. She puts people on the map who ain't never seen a map.





2 Radiohead In Rainbows
Thom Yorke doesn't need to mumble randomly assorted depressing words into a vocoder to sound alien. Heck, looking back at The Bends, the ladies were always kind of a big deal to him. Now his band is old, they've made some of the most avant garde music ever. How could they go back and move forward all at once? Johnny Greenwood's warm pedal tones (he had been secretly hiding from us) and his knack for string arrangements needed time to shine. And boy, they do. Also: What the heck it going on in the percussion part for "Reckoner"?



1 LCD Soundsystem Sound Of Silver
LCD was already a major part of the decade's indie scene; their string of singles boosting themselves and Pitchfork Media simultaneously into popularity (things were different then). Little did we know, LCD's music would only get better by not sounding like it was recorded in a garage. All their influences come to life here, like the great producers of the 70s are reborn sonically reborn. And as a songwriter, James Murphy shows an unexpected emotional side, tied in with his self-conscious humor. The back-to-back of "Someone Great" and "All My Friends" is possibly the greatest song combo of my lifetime. A lovable album that covers existentialism, party-poopers, drugs, and New York.