My Short-Lived Horror Movie Phase

I'm not a connoisseur of horror movies. In fact, I'm not a connoisseur of movies at all. As an adult, I kinda stopped watching movies. Like, ever, at all. Kind of a weird quality about me... But a few years back, I tried digging into horror movies. Most of these were watched from my laptop while I was lying in bed with the lights on. Not the most fun time of my life, but hey, a lot of these movies were good!

Here I have 23 movies, awkwardly split into 15 categories. I watched all these when I was 30-ish years old. I'm aware that I have some standards missing here. That's either because it's a movie I already watched when I was much younger (Psycho) or I've never watched it at all (Nightmare on Elm Street). But for what it's worth, there are some cool underdog hipster picks in here. So take a look-see. Maybe you'll find something you love. Or more interestingly, something you hate! My horror phase is over, but feel free to give me some recommendations anyways.

What The Hey, Let's Call This Horror

The Silence of the Lambs

The Dark Crystal

The Devils

The Silence of the Lambs deserves most all the praise it's received over the years. Jodie Foster is amazing here. Containing more than 0% "horror" elements makes you part of the club. 

The Dark Crystal is a "dark fantasy" film that children can watch. But why show this to kids when you can appreciate it as an adult? The whole thing is made with Jim Henson puppetry and it's mind-blowing.

I don't feel bad describing much of The Devils as just a "sacrilegious porno." Ken Russell is a super interesting director to me, but I should probably save myself the graphic shame and try out Altered States next time. 

I Watched 2 Japanese Horror Movies
House (Hausu)

The Ring (Ringu)

I'll get it out of the way that Hausu is my favorite of these two. By quite a large margin. Everything reminds me of some weird nightmare, and I may never forget this imagery.

Wish I had an original take on Ringu. It was definitely memorable, and I don't think kids will get how accurate it is that people would just randomly watch VHS tapes like this.

That Good Ol' "Folk Horror" Cult Stuff

Midsommar

The Wicker Man

Seeing previews for Midsommar in 2019 piqued my interest in horror, between all the backstory provided and the fact that Haxan Cloak made its soundtrack. Movie lived up to the hype.

The Wicker Man scratches my itch on so many levels. All horror movies should consist of extremely freakish-yet-unbothered townspeople. That's what living in Idaho feels like.

My Generic Takes on the Classics

Halloween

Carrie
Rosemary's Baby

The Exorcist

I'll just start off by saying Halloween was the biggest surprise for me here. I watched Friday the 13th when I was younger and wasn't the biggest fan, so I assumed Halloween would be another slasher flick leaving me empty. Not the case. The flow of this movie is super interesting to me. Simply nothing wasted. Love this mythical character bringing chaos to the suburbs.

As for the other 3? They're highly regarded classics and I have nothing much to add. Carrie is wildly discomforting. Rosemary's Baby has all-time acting performances. And finally watching The Exorcist all the way through, man, just full of monumental moments.

Favorite 70s Horror Movie

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 

I can't really review film as poignantly as I can review music, but I'm trying... I think this movie is a world of its own. If only from a directing standpoint. There's a lot of dread here. Surprising levels of contrast between what looks polished and beautiful, or what may come off as flawed and ugly. None of this was on accident. Legit visionary stuff.

Favorite 80s Horror Movie
The Thing

I mentioned "dread" in my previous review. The Thing doubles down on that. The setting itself is cold and isolated enough to give off those feelings to the viewer. Makes you spend a lot of time watching with anticipation. Love this Twilight Zone-esque plot. Love the definitively 80s special effects. I don't think it could have been done better.

Hollywood Special Effects Magic
The Devil's Rain

First off, I believe this movie is directly referenced in "Skulls" by The Misfits. But yeah, William Shatner has a big role in this, completely overshadowed by the performance of Ernest Borgnine in his majestically overblown 70s Hollywood costume.

Oldie But Goodie
Witchfinder General

I'm sure there are people who'll watch this one and think it's lame, but those people aren't f'real. This movie was apparently pretty darn controversial at the time. And Rob Zombie is a big fan.

Underrated Oldie

Carnival of Souls

So this is well-known for its rather innovative camera trickery, in tandem with being made on such a low budget. On top of excellent acting performances, this movie earns all the critical acclaim it's received over the last 60+ years.

Still Don't Know What the Heck This Was
V/H/S/2: Safe Haven

I think about this one a lot. From the V/H/S franchise of found footage short films, this one has that weirdo cult crap I like. There's this demonic monster man at the end and I dig it. 

"Cool Underdog Hipster Pick"
The Void

There are a few independent films on here, but this one was apparently borne off a crowdfunding budget. The Void has more "science fiction" content than anything else on here. I usually don't approve of that, but I just find myself impressed by this whole thing. Cherry on top: It's very Canadian.

The Most Normie Horror Movie
The Borderlands

By all means I liked this, but I don't think this would pass the critical taste test for a lot of y'all. Found footage horror movie from the 2010s, an all-too familiar plotline. Can't tell if it's mediocre or if I've just taught myself to be picky with art.

The Only One That Kinda Sucked
The Exorcist 3

I had heard The Exorcist 3 had a Grand Canyon level of divisive reviews. I wanted to be "that one guy" who likes this, but I found some sections of it nearly impossible to enjoy. At least it has one jump scare for the ages.

Didn't Watch the Whole Thing, But It Was Good

The Vanishing (Spoorloos)

Hereditary

As I mentioned before, I don't watch nearly as many movies as any of my peers. There are lots of movies where I can claim I've watched 60% of it, whether I didn't get the chance to finish it or walked out of the living room a few times or something. So yeah, shout out to this cool 80s Dutch horror film and one of A24's modern classics.

Dopest Viewing Experience

Nosferatu: A Symphony of Horror

I watched this 1920s standard at ye olde Utah Theatre in Logan. They had a live organist playing in the pit, seamlessly matching the silent film. Absolutely breathtaking experience.