"Never Go There Alone"

"You'll forget what you meant when you read what said." 
--James Murphy

Last time I was in my hometown, I dug through my old notebooks. I often forget that I used to write tons of poetry in my teenage years. I found a piece that I wrote when I was an 18 year-old working at Redfish Lake. I remember writing it... it was titled "5th of July." Looking it over, I couldn't tell whether it was supposed to be something dark or uplifting. A pair of lines stuck out to me as the centerpiece of the poem:

Romanticizing things to such an extent
Never go there alone

...I remembered writing that second line. I remember it originally being written "Never go there." I added "alone" a couple minutes later. Although I couldn't remember why I wrote any of this. Not until recently.
I was confused about whether this poem was dark or uplifting, because it's actually both. It's a voice of warning as much as it is life advise. Writing this at age 18, I was probably feeling foolish about some crush I had... thus you get a grumpy-teenage-Hamlet-diva depressive line like "Romanticizing things to such an extent? Never go there!" But I added the word "alone" and suddenly it's one of the most prophetically mature things I've ever written.
Over the last 6 years, I have forgotten both this line and its principle: It's dangerous to beautify something without telling anybody.
It could be anything! Wanting to be in a certain relationship, a certain job, a certain position of authority, a certain grade on a test, etc. If there's something you want so badly-- so badly, you've convinced yourself you need it-- you need to tell somebody.
I've learned that living in your own little world with your own idea of success is fun... until you fail. Your glorified imaginary world just shatters. You suddenly become sad and nobody around you knows why. It's basically the most unfair thing in the world, and it's what drives people to self abuse. Yet at the same time, I can't expect everyone to read my mind.
It's okay to "DREAM BIG." It's okay to be ambitious. It's okay to put another person on a pedestal. We're supposed to have dreams. We're supposed to have goals. We're supposed to have role models. But it's important to share these things with other people. People out there with the most ordinary intentions can legitimately go crazy from overdoses of self-consciousness.
ALSO:

• I think it's fair that we share things that we internally debase. To completely hate something or someone is a totally normal human flaw. People who share these feelings often change their hate into charity. People who keep these things inside can become irritable.

• Being open about your desires (and fears) is a good way of seeing things as they really are. It makes a clearer dividing line between your romanticized mindset and the rational reality. To quote Thom York (pictured above): "Just cuz you feel it doesn't mean it's there." It sounds scary when he says it, but it's truth. Doubting yourself is unhealthy. Rationalizing yourself, on the other hand, is good for you. 

Long story short, try to express things that occupy your mind the most. I am often very bad at this. I'm really good at expressing what I want and what I think. I rarely share what I need and what I know. REMIND ME TO WORK ON IT!