Monday, August 31, 2020

Existing In America

The picture above is a marvelous star-spangled lady dancing background for James Brown's "Living In America" in Rocky IV. I've always lived in America. These days, I'm not living in America. I'm kinda just, like...existing in America.

I post a lot of self-negative things on the internet. It's what I do. The more I do it, from each angle, it's interesting what kind of feedback I get from friends. Right now my main gripe is that I feel like my life has no purpose. I get a job I don't care about. And outside of work, I've lost all motivation to do anything interesting or fun. 

I think I've been going through a bad trip, when it comes to the medication I'm on. I feel anxiety symptoms way too frequently. And I worry about things I've never worried about before. I've never felt like this before. 

So why even mention America? I've just been thinking about the American Dream, and I don't think I fit the mold. Everything is too heavy for me. Working on anything, difficult or not, causes me stress. And yet doing nothing just leaves me empty. Nothing satisfies. I don't believe in anything. Nothing worth working for, nothing worth working on. In the land adventurous freedom and opportunity, I've lost all sense of adventure. "Work hard, play hard?" I do neither. I'm not a very good American. 

I strive to be as extravagant as the lady in that picture. Wearing a giant feathery headdress, half-naked, waving American flags. Looks like a blast. Lately I have a hard time getting out of my house. I know I need to get a job again, but what's the point? I don't think I have any marketable skills. And when it comes to my spare time, I don't think about music the way I used to. There's no sense of energy or excitement. There's no peace or clarity. No purpose. Just existing. But at least I'm existing...in America. 




Wednesday, July 29, 2020

Other People Reviewing My Music

SONGS FROM A BASEMENT (Studio EP)
https://scottehall.bandcamp.com/album/songs-from-a-basement-ep
-"Your sound is sick. You should be sending this to different labels!" "You always get people sending you their music and it’s always kind of ehhh. Good maybe, but not great. Your stuff though? Dude. What the hell? I had absolutely no idea that you were so talented." "I was completely enthralled in all 4 tracks. You made me feel emotional, and your material was relatable. Also, the way you blend acoustic with so many other styles. In the beginning I had a sort of Conor Oberst and Bob Dylan vibe. But then there was Elliot Smith and Panda Bear! And then Brian Wilson showed up. You reminded me of so many amazing artists while maintaining a total uniqueness. I could hear your speaking voice through your melodies and the result was amazing. Your voice is so beautiful and capable and your songs are amazing." "A talented motherfucker."
-"I'm glad you've kept recording, writing, and playing. And I hope you received positive feedback from others because, wow. Your guitar playing, melodies, and lyrics are top notch. These songs feel nostalgic without being sentimental. It took me back to other times where I was surprised by the depth, quality, and freshness of music I wasn't expecting to be so affected by. I hope you keep writing and sharing. Because I'll keep listening."
-"Happy to support your music because it's effin legit." "Music so good I bought it on the sabbath!" "The only music I listened to today was yours. It's truly awesome."
-"It was amazing." "It's good music. Good job." "I decided to buy the album again."
-"Sounds great!"
-"Who is this? I need this!"
-"Positive feedback all around."
-"Great work!"
-"I loved them all. You are very talented, my friend."
-"Nice work! I would say it reminds me of Beck mixed with the Juno soundtrack! Awesome!"
-"These are so good!"
-"Enjoyable!"
-"Just as interesting as your guitar and lyrics are your vocal inspirations. Really fun, honest, simple music."
-"Good stuff!"
-"Fantastic. I truly love it." "Melancholy. It's kinda depressed but I enjoy it." "I liked the melodies. They were interesting. You really sounded like you were feeling it when you were singing." "Interesting independent music. Great sound!"

PLIGHT
https://scottehall.bandcamp.com/track/plight
"Sounds like a mix of Third Eye Blind and Radiohead from The Bends era."
"30 seconds in, and I'm surprised you're not schooled in emo."
Brooks stand-out
REACH / CLOSE
https://scottehall.bandcamp.com/track/reach-close
Sierra's favorite. "I love that song." "It was my song all of spring semester."
Richie's 2nd favorite
MEMORY SUITE
https://scottehall.bandcamp.com/track/memory-suite-demo-mix
"This is your A-Side."
"The lyrics are quite something."
Brooks stand-out
SHOULDA TRIED TO HOLD YOUR HAND
https://scottehall.bandcamp.com/track/shoulda-tried-to-hold-your-hand
*Most Plays*
"Bass reminds me Beat Happening."
Derrick's favorite
Richie's favorite
Uncle Ron's favorite. "Reminded me a lot of Henry Gross."
Melissa's favorite. "It was giving me real Paul Simon/early Beatles vibes.
Brooks stand-out. "I've hummed this all day. I'm going to try to figure out how to play it."

MEMORIAL (Home recordings)
https://scottehall.bandcamp.com/album/memorial
-"Blew me away." "The vocals, guitar and melodies are so lovely all together." "I'm impressed with your courage to be so vulnerable. I've really related to the lyrics in all three pieces you've shared."

THE LIFE EXPERIENCE
https://scottehall.bandcamp.com/track/the-life-experience
Ashley's favorite.
MET ME
https://scottehall.bandcamp.com/track/met-me
Derrick's favorite
"I really like the sound." "Really like the lyrics too. I'm really impressed with what you got."
"Frustrating to listen to." "Really honest and relatable."
NO ONE'S HYMN
https://scottehall.bandcamp.com/track/no-ones-hymn
"Lovely."

HEY! 2 SONGS! (Home recordings)
https://scottehall.bandcamp.com/album/hey-2-songs

SUMMER REDEMPTION
https://scottehall.bandcamp.com/track/summer-redemption
"I liked this." "I like it raw."
Brooks stand-out.
"Great guitar riff."
LAUREN FROM CHICAGO
https://scottehall.bandcamp.com/track/song-for-lauren-from-chicago
"I really like it."
Richie's favorite.
Keith shared. "It's very raw--raw emotion, raw recording and raw talent."
"Really really good."

DEPRESSING IMPROV JAMS (Soundcloud project)
https://soundcloud.com/my-scott-e-hall/sets/depressing-improv-jams?fbclid=IwAR2-Inog34PlllRew1EULJI0QZqqiWMthgYG4T13b1Lj-rrgSdngUCcffAE
-"Amazing." "Your music is getting better and better."
-"Definitely originals. Love it!"

1ST SESSION (Soundcloud project)
https://soundcloud.com/my-scott-e-hall/sets/1st-session

INDIAN PAINTBRUSH AMERICA
https://soundcloud.com/my-scott-e-hall/indian-paint-brush-america?in=my-scott-e-hall/sets/1st-session
"Sounds so Burt Bacharach."


Saturday, June 6, 2020

Best Albums of 2020 So Far

I've heard plenty of albums from 2020 that are alright. 
Not a lot have really stuck out to me.


Honorable Mentions?
Rina Sawayama  SAWAYAMA
Bad Bunny  YHLQMDLG
Caribou  Suddenly
Jeff Rosenstock  NO DREAM

Might make year-end list
Moses Sumney  grae
Destroyer  Have We Met
Yves Tumor  Heaven to a Tortured Mind
Laura Marling  Song for Our Daughter
Freddie Gibbs + The Alchemist  Alfredo
Lido Pimienta  Miss Columbia
Natalia Lafourcade  Un Canto por Mexico, Vol. 1
The Soft Pink Truth  Shall We Go On Sinning So That Grace May Increase?

Probably make year-end list
Gil Scott-Heron + Makaya McCraven  We're New Again
Ka  Descendants of Cain
Owen Pallett  Island
Run The Jewels  RTJ4
Charli XCX  how i'm feeling now
Against All Logic  2017-2019

Album of the year discussion
Perfume Genius  Set My Heart on Fire Immediately
Fiona Apple  Fetch the Bolt Cutters

Ok. So about the order. The crap-ton of albums at the middle of this are all pretty interchangeable depending on the day. I have a love-hate relationship with the new Run The Jewels. Also love-hate the new Destroyer. We'll see how this all plays out at the end of the year. But this is how I'm ranking these now.
As for the 2 albums eanked highest, these guys separate the children from the adults this year.
The only reason I have an "honorable mentions" category is so people won't yell at me for not talking about Rina Sawayama.

Saturday, May 30, 2020

Probably The Best Albums of 2010, Revisited

2010 was happening 10 years ago. It was like another world.
I was on my mission during this year, so unlike most years in the 2010's, I was only allowed to listen to church hymns. So making this list is kinda unfair. Especially the bottom half. But I'm pretty sure the top half accounts for some of the best music of the past decade.
So yeah, 2010 albums are turning 10. And here's a list of probably the best ones. I'm certain this list would look different/longer if I had a Spotify account in 2010.
Openly admitting I haven't listened to all these albums all the way through. But most of them, yes.
Honorable mention artists:
Grinderman, Brian Eno + Jon Hopkins + Leo Abrahams, Sufjan Stevens, Woods, Twin Shadow, Agalloch, Tallest Man On Earth

THE LIST

I did a top 33.
33 Wavves  King of the Beach
32 Earl Sweatshirt  EARL
31 Das Racist  Sit Down, Man
30 Wild Nothing  Gemini
29 Zs  New Slaves
28 Pantha Du Prince  Black Noise
27 The Radio Dept.  Clinging to a Scheme
26 Oneohtrix Point Never  Returnal
25 Actress  Splazsh
24 Emeralds  Does It Look Like I'm Here?
23 Wakka Flocka Flame  Flockaveli
22 James Blake  The Bells Sketch + CMYK + Klavierwerke
21 Chuck Person  Chuck Person's Eccojams
20 Gil-Scott Heron  I'm New Here
19 Owen Pallett  Heartleand
18 Gorillaz  Plastic Beach
17 Big Boi  Sir Lucious Left Foot: The Son of Chico Dusty
16 The National  High Violet
15 Erykah Badu  New Amerykah (Return of the Ankh)
14 Janelle Monae  The ArchAndroid
13 Caribou  Swim
12 Women  Public Strain
11 Titus Andronicus  The Monitor
Let's talk about this bottom half for a second. Some of this consists of back-catalog albums I only heard this past week. Some of this comes from my love of always-obscure Tiny Mix Tapes lists. And of course, I believe the higher rankings here to be worthy of "all-decade" status. 2010 had a lot of classic albums. Haven't had a year quite like it since--like--2016. Anyways, as for who did not make the list, I think it came down to which music was and wasn't headache-inducing. Sorry, Sufjan. Let's continue.

TOP 10

10 Four Tet  There Is Love in You
9 Vampire Weekend  Contra
8 Arcade Fire  The Suburbs
7 Joanna Newsom  Have One on Me
6 Ariel Pink's Haunted Graffiti  Before Today
5 Flying Lotus  Cosmogramma
4 LCD Soundsystem  This Is Happening
3 Deerhunter  Halcyon Digest
2 Beach House  Teen Dream
1 Kanye West  My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy
I think I need to change my music taste. Most of these artists were already acclaimed when I was a teenager, so I just stuck with the familiar indie darlings. Maybe Joanna Newsom should be ranked higher, but I actually prefer her 2006 Ys album, which I can listen to in 1 sitting. Same with this LCD Soundsystem album that takes a close backseat to 2007's Sound of Silver. I consider Halcyon Digest to be the climax of that brief lo-fi rock movement (see also: No Age, Jay Raetard). Teen Dream has some of my favorite vocal performances ever.
Someday I'll write a book about how simultaneously stupid and brilliant that Kanye West album is. It kinda set a new perspective for how an album can be analyzed. It's essentially a pop-rap album. Sounds loud and electric. Most of these songs are non-poetic cries for help. And it's all wrapped in the same place. Should we feel bad for him or congratulate him? Released on my 20th birthday, here we see the true turn of the decade.


Saturday, April 18, 2020

Bottom Of The Barrel: Top 10 Most Embarrassing Albums I Own

In the photo above, you see 6 very different albums bought from 6 very different times of my life. Only 1 of these albums makes this list. What's sad is that you can all probably guess which one.
This list mostly includes albums I got when I was 9 years old. For some reason, of all the hit songs that came out around the Millenium border, I wound up with these. Creed? Really?
To clarify to my siblings, these are albums I myself owned. I won't include albums my little sister owned during the "boy band" era. And I'm not ashamed of any of us owning the entire Barenaked Ladies catalog. But I'm going to add a 3-album honorable mention consisting of albums my older brothers owned. They owned lots of Millenium-border albums, but looking back...How did we end up with these?

Sister Hazel
...Somewhere More Familiar
The Song: "All For You"
I actually remember listening to this. Their guitarist can fit in with any summer jam band I've heard. I can recall about half the songs on this; one of which wound up on the soundtrack for The Wedding Planner, a chick flick I was actually into as an 11 year-old for some reason....But yeah. This band is a 1-hit wonder famous for being confused with Blues Traveler. Who cares.



Stroke 9
Nasty Little Thoughts
The Song: "Little Black Backpack"
I actually went through a phase where I listened to this album consistently...For some reason...Sidenote: I don't remember "Little Black Backpack" being that popular. Or good enough to buy. But the randomness of this is nothing compared to what's next.





SR-71
Now You See Inside
The Song: "Right Now"
"Right Now" is a pop-punk song that reached #102 on the Billboard Hot 100 in 2000. I don't remember anything else about this album except the song about a 1-armed astronaut going to the moon.






Before my list...Which one of us owned 14:59 by Sugar Ray? Was that me? Lord that was terrible.
THE TOP 10 MOST EMBARRASSING ALBUMS I OWN

10
REO Speedwagon and Styx 
Arch Allies: Live At Riverport
Taking a break from the late 90's/early 00's vibe to pinpoint a phase I went through when I decided to collect really crappy live albums. I listened to tons of classic rock as a child. I believe my dad gave me this one, so I feel my ownership here isn't my fault. What's sad is that I actually listened to it.







9
John Mayer
Continuum
This album isn't bad. Only a couple bad tracks, really. It's just weird that I bought it at the same time I was listening to Bob Dylan, Pearl Jam and U2. Rolling Stone convinced me to buy this for some reason.








8
The Hardmans 
Journey
I have a long list of CD's where I'm like "Where on Earth did this come from?" I used to go to church with the lady on this album cover back in 2017. She gave me a free copy of this Christian country album she made with her son. Apologies to Sister Hardman. It's not your fault. My dislike for this was predetermined.



7
Train 
Drops Of Jupiter
The Song: "Drops Of Jupiter"
Back to the good ol' days! I remember most of this album. It's not terrible, it's just...Train. I also own a live Train album for some reason. Why? Somehow they've accumulated a bunch of annoying radio hits over the years. Now I refuse to believe they were ever better or worse at any point of their career. Heated Debate: "Drops of Jupiter" and "Meet Virginia"...were these songs ever that good?





6
Everclear 
Songs From An American Movie Vol. One: Learning How To Smile
The Song: "Wonderful"
Look at how long that album title is. Good grief. Anyways...Everclear had a slew of solid 90's alt-rock hits. But the album we own is the one with "Wonderful" on it? It also (apparently) has a cover of Van Morrison's "Brown Eyed Girl" I don't recall. It also has "A.M. Radio," which some guy I was in the MTC with claimed to be his favorite song. Fun facts. Forgettable album.



5
3 Doors Down
The Better Life
The Song: "Kryptonite"
Ugh. I really thought these guys were gonna be the next Matchbox 20. They had more hits in their career--even a couple from this album--but they sucked. This mostly reminds me of being a sensitive child obsessed with the radio and bench-warming on Aaron Judge's little league baseball team.






4
Lit 
A Place In The Sun
The Song: "My Own Worst Enemy"
My brothers liked the singles from this album, so I thought I'd be cool like them and ask for this for my 9th birthday. Nobody should get this album for their 9th birthday. Or any birthday. These guys actually did a show in Jerome, ID back in 2017. That's how low one can stoop from on-hit wonder fame. But now that I think about it, I suddenly think I'm not the only one in Jerome who owns this.




3
Sixpence None The Richer
Sixpence None The Richer
The Song: "Kiss Me"
I don't remember when and where I received this album. I don't remember any of the songs. But I owned it. I remember it had a cover of The La's classic "There She Goes," which looking back was pretty popular, but an awful milquetoast cover. I remember the album sleeve didn't fit in the case, which the picture to the left suggests. I remember this classified as Christian music. Not sure how we wound up with this.


2
Creed 
Human Clay
The Songs: "Higher" + "With Arms Wide Open"
People like to make fun of Nickelback. Creed was Nickelback long before Nickelback was Nickelback. And they were apparently Christian too. And they had some of the worst album art of all time. "Higher" and "With Arms Wide Open" were so popular, how could an elementary school student resist?






1
Lou Bega
A Little Bit Of Mambo
The Song: "Mambo No. 5 (A Little Bit Of...)"
I gotta admit. I had broad music taste for a 9 year-old. Barenaked Ladies, Creed, LOU BEGA? Gotta catch 'em all! I remember most of this album. Somehow every song has the same aesthetic. Like a 50's Latin club act trying to retain relevance in 1999. And my 9 year-old heart ate it up. "Mambo No. 5" will always be considered one of the worst songs of all time by critics. So you can say I owned a piece of music history.

Monday, April 6, 2020

A History Of Taking Things For Granted

A psychologist recently asked me: "When was the last time you were happy?"
I remember I couldn't come up with a direct answer, but here are some that ran through my mind...
--Writing while listening to music a few nights ago
--October 2019
--Spring semester 2016
--Summer 2009
Let me explain these answers.


Writing While Listening To Music
These days, the highlight of my week is late nights when I'm therapeutically writing on my laptop while listening to tunes with my headphones in. I suddenly feel a sense of clarity and connection I'm so distant from all week. I think it counts as a "time" where I'm "happy." This was actually my first response, but my psychologist said it didn't count. He was looking for an era of my life. Hmmm...

October 2019 
2019 was actually pretty darn good to me. It feels like another planet now. I didn't realize it at the time, but there were some memorable high points. I was in my beginning stages of taking anti-psychotics, and my world was constantly being turned upside-down. And I had all this time on my hands to take care of that. I was also getting more into vocal performance and was more open with people about my spiritual insights. And yet I could have done more. I was sleeping too much, and perhaps had too much empty time on my hands. But here I am today working more and spending less time with other people. I can remember a time when I had no free time, no car, no money, but arguably having more fun.

Spring Semester 2016 
At one point during this semester, I was working as an on-campus janitor at 4am, going to school during the day, then assistant stage managing a musical at night. At one point during this semester, I wasn't working on any shows and didn't have a job. At one point, I was a head stage manager. At one point, I was going to a campfire with a group of friends every weekend. At one point, my favorite basketball team finished the season 73-9. It's hard to say why I look at this semester through a rose-colored glass...I guess it's because I kinda took that time for granted. The friendships, the moments, the opportunities. And things went downhill from there; especially the year 2017 as a whole. But it was an era of my college life where I felt busy and stable and connected. This was the last great semester. Did I fully feel like myself? Not really...I wasn't doing anything about my anxiety. Just avoiding the issue, really. I can go back to a time when anxiety and depression weren't big fat issues. And I felt like myself. I was 18.

Summer 2009 
For all you "math" people out there, you may realize this was a really freaking long time ago. Well, it was. I was 18. I reminisce about my spring and summer at age 18 like they were the greatest days of my life. While I was always a melancholy kid, anxiety and depression didn't really punch my life in the face until autumn 2009. But I remember acting in high school, and those were some glory days. And that 2009 summer at Redfish was an understated time of growth and learning. Of course I took a lot of this time for granted, but that's usually the case for me.

There's a solid list of things I've taken for granted. Time, Friendships, Opportunities, Memories. Plenty of stuff. If I could go back in time, I'd do things a little differently. But there are some parts of my past worth keeping.

Tuesday, March 17, 2020

Scott's listless "best songs of the 2010's" list


I stacked up a bunch of song titles I considered putting on an "end-of-decade" songs list. And there were literally 100 songs on it. I decided that instead of putting too much thought into it, I'd just make a list of 100 songs. All from the 2010's. I will probably regret this soon.
Actually, screw it. The bottom half of this list is garbage. Wish I could say I was drunk. But it's just another Tuesday night.

#100 Royals Lorde
#99 Super Bass Nicki Minaj
#98 Rolling In The Deep Adele
#97 Your Best American Girl Mitski
#96 Love Yourself Justin Beiber
#95 Bad And Boujee Migos (ft. Lil Uzi Vert)
#94 Black Beatles Rae Sremmurd (ft. Gucci Mane)
#93 Really Love D'Angelo
#92 Love It If We Made It The 1975
#91 Dis Generation A Tribe Called Quest (ft. Busta Rhymes)

#90 BTSTU Jai Paul
#89 Out Getting Ribs King Krule
#88 Old Town Road Lil Nas X
#87 Stoned And Starving Parquet Courts
#86 Adorn Miguel
#85 Kill For Love Chromatics
#84 When I'm With You Best Coast
#83 Can't Feel My Face The Weeknd
#82 Broccoli DRAM (ft. Lil Yachty)
#81 Magnolia Playboi Carti

#80 I Can Change LCD Soundsystem
#79 F*ck You Cee-Lo Green
#78 Climax Usher
#77 Everything Is Embarrassing Sky Ferreira
#76 Humble Kendrick Lamar
#75 Reflektor Arcade Fire
#74 Mute Youth Lagoon
#73 We Found Love Rihanna (ft. Calvin Harris)
#72 Hard In Da Paint Waka Flocka Flame
#71 If You Know You Know Pusha T

#70 Apocalypse Dream Tame Impala
#69 Hi Hannah Diamond
#68 Stay Useless Cloud Nothings
#67 It's Real Real Estate
#66 Mythological Beauty Big Thief
#65 Wakin' on a Pretty Day Kurt Vile
#64 Chamakay Blood Orange
#63 Odessa Caribou
#62 Shut Up Savages
#61 Every Single Night Fiona Apple

#60 Drunk Drivers/Killer Whales Car Seat Headrest
#59 Lifetime Yves Tumor
#58 Hotline Bling Drake
#57 Sicko Mode Travis Scott (ft. Drake)
#56 I Belong In Your Arms Chairlift
#55 Two Weeks FKA Twigs
#54 Bad Girls MIA
#53 Drone Bomb Me ANOHNI
#52 Can't Do Without You Caribou
#51 Big Beast Killer Mike (ft. T.I., Bun B, Trouble)

#50 Queen Perfume Genius
#49 Oh My Darling (Don't Cry) Run The Jewels
#48 Oxygen Swans
#47 Funtimes In Babylon Father John Misty
#46 The Willhelm Scream James Blake
#45 Blackstar David Bowie
#44 Cruel St. Vincent
#43 Love On Top Beyonce
#42 Desire Lines Deerhunter
#41 Shut Up Kiss Me Angel Olsen

#40 Oblivion Grimes
#39 Seventeen Sharon Van Etten
#38 The Only Thing Sufjan Stevens
#37 Pyramids Frank Ocean
#36 Runaway Kanye West (ft. Pusha T)
#35 Formation Beyonce
#34 Myth Beach House
#33 This Is America Childish Gambino
#32 Small Plane Bill Callahan
#31 Riding For The Feeling Bill Callahan

#30 Sprawl II (Mountains Beyond Mountains) Arcade Fire
#29 Real Death Mount Eerie
#28 Shabba A$AP Ferg (ft. A$AP Rocky)
#27 King Kunta Kendrick Lamar
#26 The Wire HAIM
#25 FDT YG (ft. Nipsey Hussle)
#24 No Problem Chance The Rapper (ft. 2 Chainz, Lil Wayne)
#23 Window Seat Erykah Badu
#22 Cranes In The Sky Solange
#21 Tightrope Janelle Monae (ft. Big Boi)

#20 Never Catch Me Flying Lotus (ft. Kendrick Lamar)
 #19 Round And Round Ariel Pink's Haunted Graffiti
#18 Pure Comedy Father John Misty
#17 Midnight City M83
#16 Helplessness Blues Fleet Foxes
#15 Self Control Frank Ocean
#14 The House That Heaven Built Japandroids
#13 Step Vampire Weekend
#12 Get Lucky Daft Punk (ft. Pharrell Williams)
#11 I Watched The Film The Song Remains The Same Sun Kil Moon

#10 B*tch, Don't Kill My Vibe Kendrick Lamar
#9 Holocene Bon Iver
#8 Ultralight Beam Kanye West (ft. Chance The Rapper, The-Dream, Kelly Price, Kirk Franklin)
#7 Seasons (Waiting On You) Future Islands
#6 Thinkin Bout You Frank Ocean
#5 It's Okay To Cry SOPHIE
#4 POWER Kanye West
#3 Dancing On My Own Robyn
#2 (I Know There's Gonna Be) Good Times Jamie xx (ft. Young Thug, Popcaan)
#1 Kaputt Destroyer

Yay.