Best Albums of 2020 So Far

I've heard plenty of albums from 2020 that are alright. 
Not a lot have really stuck out to me.

Honorable Mentions?
Rina Sawayama  SAWAYAMA
Bad Bunny  YHLQMDLG
Caribou  Suddenly
Jeff Rosenstock  NO DREAM

Might make year-end list
Moses Sumney  grae
Destroyer  Have We Met
Yves Tumor  Heaven to a Tortured Mind
Laura Marling  Song for Our Daughter
Freddie Gibbs + The Alchemist  Alfredo
Lido Pimienta  Miss Columbia
Natalia Lafourcade  Un Canto por Mexico, Vol. 1
The Soft Pink Truth  Shall We Go On Sinning So That Grace May Increase?

Probably make year-end list
Gil Scott-Heron + Makaya McCraven  We're New Again
Ka  Descendants of Cain
Owen Pallett  Island
Run The Jewels  RTJ4
Charli XCX  how i'm feeling now
Against All Logic  2017-2019

Album of the year discussion
Perfume Genius  Set My Heart on Fire Immediately
Fiona Apple  Fetch the Bolt Cutters

Ok. So about the order. The crap-ton of albums at the middle of this are all pretty interchangeable depending on the day. I have a love-hate relationship with the new Run The Jewels. Also love-hate the new Destroyer. We'll see how this all plays out at the end of the year. But this is how I'm ranking these now.
As for the 2 albums eanked highest, these guys separate the children from the adults this year.
The only reason I have an "honorable mentions" category is so people won't yell at me for not talking about Rina Sawayama.

Probably The Best Albums of 2010, Revisited

2010 was happening 10 years ago. It was like another world.
I was on my mission during this year, so unlike most years in the 2010's, I was only allowed to listen to church hymns. So making this list is kinda unfair. Especially the bottom half. But I'm pretty sure the top half accounts for some of the best music of the past decade.
So yeah, 2010 albums are turning 10. And here's a list of probably the best ones. I'm certain this list would look different/longer if I had a Spotify account in 2010.
Openly admitting I haven't listened to all these albums all the way through. But most of them, yes.
Honorable mention artists:
Grinderman, Brian Eno + Jon Hopkins + Leo Abrahams, Sufjan Stevens, Woods, Twin Shadow, Agalloch, Tallest Man On Earth

THE LIST

I did a top 33.
33 Wavves  King of the Beach
32 Earl Sweatshirt  EARL
31 Das Racist  Sit Down, Man
30 Wild Nothing  Gemini
29 Zs  New Slaves
28 Pantha Du Prince  Black Noise
27 The Radio Dept.  Clinging to a Scheme
26 Oneohtrix Point Never  Returnal
25 Actress  Splazsh
24 Emeralds  Does It Look Like I'm Here?
23 Wakka Flocka Flame  Flockaveli
22 James Blake  The Bells Sketch + CMYK + Klavierwerke
21 Chuck Person  Chuck Person's Eccojams
20 Gil-Scott Heron  I'm New Here
19 Owen Pallett  Heartleand
18 Gorillaz  Plastic Beach
17 Big Boi  Sir Lucious Left Foot: The Son of Chico Dusty
16 The National  High Violet
15 Erykah Badu  New Amerykah (Return of the Ankh)
14 Janelle Monae  The ArchAndroid
13 Caribou  Swim
12 Women  Public Strain
11 Titus Andronicus  The Monitor
Let's talk about this bottom half for a second. Some of this consists of back-catalog albums I only heard this past week. Some of this comes from my love of always-obscure Tiny Mix Tapes lists. And of course, I believe the higher rankings here to be worthy of "all-decade" status. 2010 had a lot of classic albums. Haven't had a year quite like it since--like--2016. Anyways, as for who did not make the list, I think it came down to which music was and wasn't headache-inducing. Sorry, Sufjan. Let's continue.

TOP 10

10 Four Tet  There Is Love in You
9 Vampire Weekend  Contra
8 Arcade Fire  The Suburbs
7 Joanna Newsom  Have One on Me
6 Ariel Pink's Haunted Graffiti  Before Today
5 Flying Lotus  Cosmogramma
4 LCD Soundsystem  This Is Happening
3 Deerhunter  Halcyon Digest
2 Beach House  Teen Dream
1 Kanye West  My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy
I think I need to change my music taste. Most of these artists were already acclaimed when I was a teenager, so I just stuck with the familiar indie darlings. Maybe Joanna Newsom should be ranked higher, but I actually prefer her 2006 Ys album, which I can listen to in 1 sitting. Same with this LCD Soundsystem album that takes a close backseat to 2007's Sound of Silver. I consider Halcyon Digest to be the climax of that brief lo-fi rock movement (see also: No Age, Jay Raetard). Teen Dream has some of my favorite vocal performances ever.
Someday I'll write a book about how simultaneously stupid and brilliant that Kanye West album is. It kinda set a new perspective for how an album can be analyzed. It's essentially a pop-rap album. Sounds loud and electric. Most of these songs are non-poetic cries for help. And it's all wrapped in the same place. Should we feel bad for him or congratulate him? Released on my 20th birthday, here we see the true turn of the decade.

Bottom Of The Barrel: Top 10 Most Embarrassing Albums I Own

In the photo above, you see 6 very different albums bought from 6 very different times of my life. Only 1 of these albums makes this list. What's sad is that you can all probably guess which one.
This list mostly includes albums I got when I was 9 years old. For some reason, of all the hit songs that came out around the Millenium border, I wound up with these. Creed? Really?
To clarify to my siblings, these are albums I myself owned. I won't include albums my little sister owned during the "boy band" era. And I'm not ashamed of any of us owning the entire Barenaked Ladies catalog. But I'm going to add a 3-album honorable mention consisting of albums my older brothers owned. They owned lots of Millenium-border albums, but looking back...How did we end up with these?

Sister Hazel
...Somewhere More Familiar
The Song: "All For You"
I actually remember listening to this. Their guitarist can fit in with any summer jam band I've heard. I can recall about half the songs on this; one of which wound up on the soundtrack for The Wedding Planner, a chick flick I was actually into as an 11 year-old for some reason....But yeah. This band is a 1-hit wonder famous for being confused with Blues Traveler. Who cares.

Stroke 9
Nasty Little Thoughts
The Song: "Little Black Backpack"
I actually went through a phase where I listened to this album consistently...For some reason...Sidenote: I don't remember "Little Black Backpack" being that popular. Or good enough to buy. But the randomness of this is nothing compared to what's next.

SR-71
Now You See Inside
The Song: "Right Now"
"Right Now" is a pop-punk song that reached #102 on the Billboard Hot 100 in 2000. I don't remember anything else about this album except the song about a 1-armed astronaut going to the moon.






Before my list...Which one of us owned 14:59 by Sugar Ray? Was that me? Lord that was terrible.
THE TOP 10 MOST EMBARRASSING ALBUMS I OWN

10

REO Speedwagon and Styx 
Arch Allies: Live At Riverport
Taking a break from the late 90's/early 00's vibe to pinpoint a phase I went through when I decided to collect really crappy live albums. I listened to tons of classic rock as a child. I believe my dad gave me this one, so I feel my ownership here isn't my fault. What's sad is that I actually listened to it.

9

John Mayer
Continuum
This album isn't bad. Only a couple bad tracks, really. It's just weird that I bought it at the same time I was listening to Bob Dylan, Pearl Jam and U2. Rolling Stone convinced me to buy this for some reason.

8

The Hardmans 
Journey
I have a long list of CD's where I'm like "Where on Earth did this come from?" I used to go to church with the lady on this album cover back in 2017. She gave me a free copy of this Christian country album she made with her son. Apologies to Sister Hardman. It's not your fault. My dislike for this was predetermined.

7

Train 
Drops Of Jupiter
The Song: "Drops Of Jupiter"
Back to the good ol' days! I remember most of this album. It's not terrible, it's just...Train. I also own a live Train album for some reason. Why? Somehow they've accumulated a bunch of annoying radio hits over the years. Now I refuse to believe they were ever better or worse at any point of their career. Heated Debate: "Drops of Jupiter" and "Meet Virginia"...were these songs ever that good?

6

Everclear 
Songs From An American Movie Vol. One: Learning How To Smile
The Song: "Wonderful"
Look at how long that album title is. Good grief. Anyways...Everclear had a slew of solid 90's alt-rock hits. But the album we own is the one with "Wonderful" on it? It also (apparently) has a cover of Van Morrison's "Brown Eyed Girl" I don't recall. It also has "A.M. Radio," which some guy I was in the MTC with claimed to be his favorite song. Fun facts. Forgettable album.

5

3 Doors Down
The Better Life
The Song: "Kryptonite"
Ugh. I really thought these guys were gonna be the next Matchbox 20. They had more hits in their career--even a couple from this album--but they sucked. This mostly reminds me of being a sensitive child obsessed with the radio and bench-warming on Aaron Judge's little league baseball team.

4

Lit 
A Place In The Sun
The Song: "My Own Worst Enemy"
My brothers liked the singles from this album, so I thought I'd be cool like them and ask for this for my 9th birthday. Nobody should get this album for their 9th birthday. Or any birthday. These guys actually did a show in Jerome, ID back in 2017. That's how low one can stoop from on-hit wonder fame. But now that I think about it, I suddenly think I'm not the only one in Jerome who owns this.

3

Sixpence None The Richer
Sixpence None The Richer
The Song: "Kiss Me"
I don't remember when and where I received this album. I don't remember any of the songs. But I owned it. I remember it had a cover of The La's classic "There She Goes," which looking back was pretty popular, but an awful milquetoast cover. I remember the album sleeve didn't fit in the case, which the picture to the left suggests. I remember this classified as Christian music. Not sure how we wound up with this.

2

Creed 
Human Clay
The Songs: "Higher" + "With Arms Wide Open"
People like to make fun of Nickelback. Creed was Nickelback long before Nickelback was Nickelback. And they were apparently Christian too. And they had some of the worst album art of all time. "Higher" and "With Arms Wide Open" were so popular, how could an elementary school student resist?

1

Lou Bega
A Little Bit Of Mambo
The Song: "Mambo No. 5 (A Little Bit Of...)"
I gotta admit. I had broad music taste for a 9 year-old. Barenaked Ladies, Creed, LOU BEGA? Gotta catch 'em all! I remember most of this album. Somehow every song has the same aesthetic. Like a 50's Latin club act trying to retain relevance in 1999. And my 9 year-old heart ate it up. "Mambo No. 5" will always be considered one of the worst songs of all time by critics. So you can say I owned a piece of music history.

A History Of Taking Things For Granted

A psychologist recently asked me: "When was the last time you were happy?"
I remember I couldn't come up with a direct answer, but here are some that ran through my mind...
--Writing while listening to music a few nights ago
--October 2019
--Spring semester 2016
--Summer 2009
Let me explain these answers.

Writing While Listening To Music
These days, the highlight of my week is late nights when I'm therapeutically writing on my laptop while listening to tunes with my headphones in. I suddenly feel a sense of clarity and connection I'm so distant from all week. I think it counts as a "time" where I'm "happy." This was actually my first response, but my psychologist said it didn't count. He was looking for an era of my life. Hmmm...

October 2019 
2019 was actually pretty darn good to me. It feels like another planet now. I didn't realize it at the time, but there were some memorable high points. I was in my beginning stages of taking anti-psychotics, and my world was constantly being turned upside-down. And I had all this time on my hands to take care of that. I was also getting more into vocal performance and was more open with people about my spiritual insights. And yet I could have done more. I was sleeping too much, and perhaps had too much empty time on my hands. But here I am today working more and spending less time with other people. I can remember a time when I had no free time, no car, no money, but arguably having more fun.

Spring Semester 2016 
At one point during this semester, I was working as an on-campus janitor at 4am, going to school during the day, then assistant stage managing a musical at night. At one point during this semester, I wasn't working on any shows and didn't have a job. At one point, I was a head stage manager. At one point, I was going to a campfire with a group of friends every weekend. At one point, my favorite basketball team finished the season 73-9. It's hard to say why I look at this semester through a rose-colored glass...I guess it's because I kinda took that time for granted. The friendships, the moments, the opportunities. And things went downhill from there; especially the year 2017 as a whole. But it was an era of my college life where I felt busy and stable and connected. This was the last great semester. Did I fully feel like myself? Not really...I wasn't doing anything about my anxiety. Just avoiding the issue, really. I can go back to a time when anxiety and depression weren't big fat issues. And I felt like myself. I was 18.

Summer 2009 
For all you "math" people out there, you may realize this was a really freaking long time ago. Well, it was. I was 18. I reminisce about my spring and summer at age 18 like they were the greatest days of my life. While I was always a melancholy kid, anxiety and depression didn't really punch my life in the face until autumn 2009. But I remember acting in high school, and those were some glory days. And that 2009 summer at Redfish was an understated time of growth and learning. Of course I took a lot of this time for granted, but that's usually the case for me.

There's a solid list of things I've taken for granted. Time, Friendships, Opportunities, Memories. Plenty of stuff. If I could go back in time, I'd do things a little differently. But there are some parts of my past worth keeping.

Scott's listless "best songs of the 2010's" list

I stacked up a bunch of song titles I considered putting on an "end-of-decade" songs list. And there were literally 100 songs on it. I decided that instead of putting too much thought into it, I'd just make a list of 100 songs. All from the 2010's. I will probably regret this soon.
Actually, screw it. The bottom half of this list is garbage. Wish I could say I was drunk. But it's just another Tuesday night.

#100 Royals Lorde
#99 Super Bass Nicki Minaj
#98 Rolling In The Deep Adele
#97 Your Best American Girl Mitski
#96 Love Yourself Justin Beiber
#95 Bad And Boujee Migos (ft. Lil Uzi Vert)
#94 Black Beatles Rae Sremmurd (ft. Gucci Mane)
#93 Really Love D'Angelo
#92 Love It If We Made It The 1975
#91 Dis Generation A Tribe Called Quest (ft. Busta Rhymes)

#90 BTSTU Jai Paul
#89 Out Getting Ribs King Krule
#88 Old Town Road Lil Nas X
#87 Stoned And Starving Parquet Courts
#86 Adorn Miguel
#85 Kill For Love Chromatics
#84 When I'm With You Best Coast
#83 Can't Feel My Face The Weeknd
#82 Broccoli DRAM (ft. Lil Yachty)
#81 Magnolia Playboi Carti

#80 I Can Change LCD Soundsystem
#79 F*ck You Cee-Lo Green
#78 Climax Usher
#77 Everything Is Embarrassing Sky Ferreira
#76 Humble Kendrick Lamar
#75 Reflektor Arcade Fire
#74 Mute Youth Lagoon
#73 We Found Love Rihanna (ft. Calvin Harris)
#72 Hard In Da Paint Waka Flocka Flame
#71 If You Know You Know Pusha T

#70 Apocalypse Dream Tame Impala
#69 Hi Hannah Diamond
#68 Stay Useless Cloud Nothings
#67 It's Real Real Estate
#66 Mythological Beauty Big Thief
#65 Wakin' on a Pretty Day Kurt Vile
#64 Chamakay Blood Orange
#63 Odessa Caribou
#62 Shut Up Savages
#61 Every Single Night Fiona Apple

#60 Drunk Drivers/Killer Whales Car Seat Headrest
#59 Lifetime Yves Tumor
#58 Hotline Bling Drake
#57 Sicko Mode Travis Scott (ft. Drake)
#56 I Belong In Your Arms Chairlift
#55 Two Weeks FKA Twigs
#54 Bad Girls MIA
#53 Drone Bomb Me ANOHNI
#52 Can't Do Without You Caribou
#51 Big Beast Killer Mike (ft. T.I., Bun B, Trouble)

#50 Queen Perfume Genius
#49 Oh My Darling (Don't Cry) Run The Jewels
#48 Oxygen Swans
#47 Funtimes In Babylon Father John Misty
#46 The Willhelm Scream James Blake
#45 Blackstar David Bowie
#44 Cruel St. Vincent
#43 Love On Top Beyonce
#42 Desire Lines Deerhunter
#41 Shut Up Kiss Me Angel Olsen

#40 Oblivion Grimes
#39 Seventeen Sharon Van Etten
#38 The Only Thing Sufjan Stevens
#37 Pyramids Frank Ocean
#36 Runaway Kanye West (ft. Pusha T)
#35 Formation Beyonce
#34 Myth Beach House
#33 This Is America Childish Gambino
#32 Small Plane Bill Callahan
#31 Riding For The Feeling Bill Callahan

#30 Sprawl II (Mountains Beyond Mountains) Arcade Fire
#29 Real Death Mount Eerie
#28 Shabba A$AP Ferg (ft. A$AP Rocky)
#27 King Kunta Kendrick Lamar
#26 The Wire HAIM
#25 FDT YG (ft. Nipsey Hussle)
#24 No Problem Chance The Rapper (ft. 2 Chainz, Lil Wayne)
#23 Window Seat Erykah Badu
#22 Cranes In The Sky Solange
#21 Tightrope Janelle Monae (ft. Big Boi)

#20 Never Catch Me Flying Lotus (ft. Kendrick Lamar)
 #19 Round And Round Ariel Pink's Haunted Graffiti
#18 Pure Comedy Father John Misty
#17 Midnight City M83
#16 Helplessness Blues Fleet Foxes
#15 Self Control Frank Ocean
#14 The House That Heaven Built Japandroids
#13 Step Vampire Weekend
#12 Get Lucky Daft Punk (ft. Pharrell Williams)
#11 I Watched The Film The Song Remains The Same Sun Kil Moon

#10 B*tch, Don't Kill My Vibe Kendrick Lamar
#9 Holocene Bon Iver
#8 Ultralight Beam Kanye West (ft. Chance The Rapper, The-Dream, Kelly Price, Kirk Franklin)
#7 Seasons (Waiting On You) Future Islands
#6 Thinkin Bout You Frank Ocean
#5 It's Okay To Cry SOPHIE
#4 POWER Kanye West
#3 Dancing On My Own Robyn
#2 (I Know There's Gonna Be) Good Times Jamie xx (ft. Young Thug, Popcaan)
#1 Kaputt Destroyer

Yay.

The Workplace

You're going mad. 
Perhaps you always were, but when things were going good, you just didn't care.
-Michael Skinner

Confession time. I've been pretty open about this, but tonight I'm giving it the blog treatment. I've been going through a hard time. And most of it has to do with work.

Work is a touchy subject. In almost every job I've ever had, I've felt like crap at work. And considering I have both clinical anxiety and depression, when I say "felt like crap," that's an understatement. And my new job has me going crazy. I've recently seen a counselor, a psychiatrist, and have been tested for adjustment disorder and sensory processing disorder. I've even been put on new anti-psychotics. I want answers.
Before this job, I was working 30 hours a week. I felt pretty crappy at work at that job too, but the work wasn't nearly as demanding, and the hours were few. I was seeing a counselor consistently, but still no real answers as to what causes me extreme anxiety in a work environment. I thought I'd try something new and take this job as a TV news producer. Perhaps I jumped the gun before getting some real mental health questions answered. And this new job has me going crazy.

My time outside of work has been affected as well. My free time isn't nearly as enjoyable. I don't feel like making music anymore. I'm often just worried about the next day. 
Honestly, if I see myself leaving this job, it will be for legitimate mental health reasons. If I ever said "I hate my job," I'm sorry. That's a lie. I hate how I feel at work. That's the truth. It's been overwhelming for about 4 months now. And I often feel like people don't understand or don't give a crap. Considering all these mental health professionals I've been seeing lately, I almost feel like I'm trying too hard to fix a problem without adjusting my situation.
About the quote at the top of this post...Work anxiety has been a problem with me for a while, but in the past, I just didn't care. Now my work takes up a great deal of energy and focus in my life. And I feel like I have nowhere to turn.
I wouldn't mind spending a summer hiding from the world. Move to a small city in Utah or Idaho or Montana or some crap like that. Go back to working shorter hours. See a counselor and actually put effort and time to work out my issues at the workplace. Of course talk about other stuff too, like church, family, relationships, music, whatever. But in order to be a member of society, I need to work--not metaphorically, but like, with a real freaking occupation. And right now, it's become way too hard for me to pretend like I'm okay. Cuz I'm gonna break down or something.

Maybe it's the pressure of professionalism. Maybe it has to do with the social scenario. Or overthinking the weight of responsibility. But it's not like I'm complaining about having to work. My job performance is fine. It's about me. And sometimes I need to remember my problems are real. This is my biggest problem right now. Not that I spend too much time alone, or haven't been on a date in 10 months, or can't afford a private apartment in Portland. It's work.

The Best Albums Of 2019

2019 made me re-think what I look for in an album. But not in a good way.
I was able to listen to more albums than ever this year. I would download new releases on Spotify then listen to them at work. I can't listen to music at my new job, so I thought I'd just give up on new music this year and publish the good ol' year-end list already. Only problem with the good ol' list this year...it isn't very "good."
I listen to all this new music, while I myself am trying to make music of my own. And the line has never been blurrier for me to distinguish between "good" and "bad." What does it even mean to have "good production" anyways? When is an artist giving me uninspired lyrics? Do I even give a crap about metal? Do I just enjoy "Old Town Road" ironically?
Also, I already made a decade-end list. If I could go back, I'd re-arrange some albums. But from this year, I think I'd still just keep my top 3 albums on this list on my decade list. Nothing more, nothing less.
It should be noted that I never listen to an album unless I find interest in it in the first place. I'm not trying to be the world's busiest music nerd. I just like music and I like lists. Keeping up with the music scene in general is a good way for me to hear a bunch of music and make a bunch of lists.
So does this list suck, or was it the year in music that sucked? I say both.
Anyways, here's the list. There's gonna be some pit-stops throughout. Enjoy.

25 
Sunn O))) 
Life Metal 
Pyroclasts

24 
Jessica Pratt 
Quiet Signs

23 
Uboa 
The Origin Of My Depression









In a normal year, I don't think these albums would make my year-end list. If I had to score these, I'd give them a 79/100. By the way, Sunn O))) makes the list because I like how their 2 albums reflect each other. Big Theif did the same thing this year. I'll bring them up later.

22 
Mannequin Pussy 
Patience

21 
JPEGMAFIA 
All My Heroes Are Cornballs

20 
Ariana Grande 
thank u, next

19 
Richard Dawson 
2020

18 
Jenny Hval 
The Practice Of Love

17 
Denzel Curry 
ZUU

16 
Danny Brown 
uknowhatimsayin¿

15 
Xiu Xiu 
Girl With Basket Of Fruit

14 
Tyler, The Creator 
IGOR









While I think these albums are all great...or good...or okay...or whatever...I honestly haven't felt much of a desire to go back to them. This is the "back catalog" of 2019. I know I'm not really talking them up very well, but I'm just in a negative music mood today. I'd recommend a listen. 80/100.

13 
Bill Callahan 
Shepherd In A Sheepskin Vest

12 
Big Thief 
U.F.O.F. 
Two Hands








These are albums by artists who are doing their freaking job. Bill Callahan remains the wise songwriter who sounds better with age. Big Theif are selling their sound as the voice of modern indie folk. 81/100.

11 
slowthai 
Nothing Great About Britain

10 
Sharon Van Etten 
Remind Me Tomorrow

9 
black midi 
shlagenheim

8 
Matana Roberts 
COIN COIN Chapter Four: Memphis









It's really difficult for me to rank these 4 albums, because it meant 1 of them wouldn't make the top 10. My top 11 is where we really get to those albums that left me feeling like I just heard something significant. I would give all the above albums same score: 85/100.

7
Little Simz
GREY Area









6
Lingua Ignota
Caligula








5
Purple Mountains
Purple Mountains









4
Freddie Gibbs & Madlib
Bandana









This is an odd batch of albums. Bandana gets the highest ranking because I can't really spot any flaws on it. These are all 86/100.

3
Lana Del Rey
Norman Fucking Rockwell!









It finally happened. I finally liked an album produced by Jack Antanoff. I love the sad 70s California songwriter aesthetic of this album, tied together with modern pop nonsense. There's really nothing else like this. 87/100. I'd put this somewhere on the tail-end of my decade list.

2
Angel Olsen
All Mirrors









I don't always like indie pop these days. Angel Olsen's MY WOMAN album sounds even better to me now than it did 3 years ago. It's a big act to follow up. She pulls through with some stunning string sections and powerful vocal performance. It was the perfect breakup album for autumn 2019. 90/100. I'd put this somewhere in the middle of my decade list.

1
Weyes Blood
Titanic Rising









This is the only album from 2019 that I fell in love with. I re-visit it all the time. There are moments I anticipate every time. Such a unique concept and creative production idea. That heavenly light shining through at the bottom of the ocean...This is one of those "post-breakup" albums. Like Graceland. You're almost done with feeling sad about yourself, and you can see the elegant electric glow of your future when you look up. It's a wild time to be alive...but a lot's gonna change. This is among the top 25 albums of the decade. 99/100.